I LOVE THIS! BUT PLEASE UPDATE ASAP!

This is EXACTLY the type of manga I was looking for! A lonely delinquent guy who on a regular basis beats up the protagonist like a bully, but develops feelings for! I hope they translate asap because I purchased both raw volumes and my google translation app can only go so far. Now on to my opinion between the four chapters (this is gonna be long since I really love this manga)...

A trope with a bullying/abusive seme that becomes gentle after, is what I REALLY dig (and no, I don't read KS). At first, the story seems like it is very violent; Misaki is constantly beat up by Haru, yet doesn't really do anything to stop it. It even makes you wonder if Misaki is a masochist in general, or seems to enjoy it ONLY when Haru beats him up. But there's something different about this manga; Misaki appears to be surprised every time Haru engages him in violence, and he looks unwilling to get hurt at times, the matter justified in one of the pages in ch 1 where Misaki elbows him in the face to run away.

Analyzing Misaki's character seemed to be tough for me partly because it seems he has contradicting actions. Then again, I think Misaki doesn't even understand himself at times. He seems aware that he has some unhealthy longing to experience the pleasure through pain, but there's this other side to him that tells him it's wrong and that he's disgusting. Perhaps that's why he lets Haru beat him up? My other opinion why he allows the violence is maybe due to his own bland lifestyle. Misaki doesn't seem like a person who is very remarkable. His only "friends" are his co-workers, he doesn't have a girlfriend, he lives alone in an apartment far from his parents, and goes to a low end job. He's a cute but easily overlooked person unlike Honda, his more attractive fellow co-worker. When someone like Haru appeared, Misaki might have "imprinted" (idk what else word to use) on Haru and now he associates his violence as getting his attention. He could have also fallen hard for Haru without really becoming aware and developed a fixated perversion on his violence if it meant Haru would pay attention to him. Misaki's character is all the more strange for me to interpret. If he was truly against Haru, he would have called the cops, contacted anyone, or at least choose a different route home, and the fact that he went along with Haru's instructions to "make sure he can do it properly" make it seem that he's masking his attraction to him in the form of accepting his violence-much like the mask Misaki wears to cover up his face (like a metaphor to hide his real self?). If Misaki truly hated it, he wouldn't have opened the door for Haru (both literally and figuratively speaking). This probably explains in ch 4 why Misaki tearfully shouts "I want you to do it only to me!" showing that he finally realized that those feelings he was feeling were actually some kind of wanting to be loved/desired. It's almost reminiscent of domestic violence between spouses in that the abused might be hesitant to leave the abuser because they think that their violence= interest/love in them. It's a kind of twisted relationship both these boys have with one another, so even when you look and try to analyze it, it still baffles you.

Haru is not as hard to understand as Misaki. We know he's highly notorious at school for being a delinquent, and his flashy image illustrates that (piercings and blond-dyed hair). But despite all that, he is unpopular and regarded lowly by his peers who talk about him behind his back. The only friends he can afford are the two guys who just hang out with him to kill time, but have other important things to do like road work (Tatsu) and playing slot machines (Kakeru). I think Haru's is a lonely character who has had multiple anger issues in the past due to his inability to engage with others (could also be family problems) and when he found that someone like Misaki hadn't bothered to shy away from him, it both intrigued and confused him. This might explain why Haru had repeatedly been trying to "aim for his face", maybe to get a rise out of him so he would fight. The fact that he "seemed to be aiming for his face a lot" makes it seem he wanted to have a lasting impression on Misaki so hed be remembered. (Kind of like how a lover wants to deliver love bites on the skin as a way of "marking" that the person belongs to them?)because like Misaki, there was a part of him that wanted his attention too. There are multiple instances where for no reason, Haru will grab Misaki's chin forcing his gaze to him, or feel his neck, on the guise of trying to look tough (kind of like an excuse to touch him?). Upon discovering Misaki would let him do whatever, Haru's first thought might have been "hehe I'll do the worst thing to him!" and even then, there might have been some kind of crush on him. But instead, Haru began to realize Misaki was enjoying it. (Well, he might have already figured it out before raeping him, I mean, who shoves their dick in their victim's face unless you want the possibility of them biting it off?). And now, we know that somewhere along the way, Haru went from being violent to Misaki, to being more gentle. Though Haru still shows his violent side, he becomes all too aware when even Misaki whom he dubs "a weird guy" admits that he's an "unhelpable guy" (ch 4), which makes him want to change his ways.

I know this might not be the right word, but there is a sort of...innocence or cuteness with their relationship. You can sense the discord among themselves and it feels like they don't know how to interpret their feelings. I call it innocent because I feel neither of them are sadistic or masochistic because they're like children who DO have feelings for one another and a desire to express them properly, but not knowing how except for what they're used to. For example, we know Haru isn't completely sadistic (at least, after the end of the second chapter) because he admitted he felt guilty for putting a tax on Misaki's body in ch 2 and decided to leave. Why did he leave? Most likely because he had feelings for Misaki and realized it was toxic to have sex with the person you'd beat up. Another instance that Haru isn't a sadistic person completely is when he actually GIVES TIME for Misaki to prepare himself before he has sex with him for the first time. He could have easily raeped Misaki right then and there with no preparation. ANd even if he assumed Misaki enjoyed pain, why would he instead postpone it for some other time? What kind of person inflicting violence gives one time to prepare and possibly have a chance to avoid it??? A truly sadistic person wouldn't care about that or show guilt to someone they're hurting.When he saw Misaki smile at the store after a month of not contacting him (ch 3), he of course was surprised, seeing a happy face on him for the first time, and had a desire to have him smile at him like that again (Haru: "Would I be able to-?"). So when Misaki smiled at him humorously replying with a "which one of us is a weird guy?" Haru of course had the sudden urge to kiss him, (and probably also feeling elated that their relationship had finally progressed to having Misaki comfortable enough to smile around him). Instead of a merely sadistic person, Haru is seen as a conflicted guy who is trying to express his feelings in some other way, which stems from his self-awareness as a violent person.

Overall, this was a very cute read, especially at the end where they share that kiss! I loved it when Haru was the first one to initiate it by taking off his face mask. Can anyone explain to me what the conclusion of the rough sex at the end of ch 4 was about? I get the feeling that Haru realized something about Misaki. But I dont know about Misaki's revelation ("I saw him try to hide his red blushing face while rubbing tears away from his eyes"). Is it supposed to mean that her realized Haru also had feelings for him?