Guys,I wonder if ch 221 in 19 Days is perhaps a clue (english class scene) about Jian Yi x Zhen Xi

Kaleidocat May 13, 2018 8:47 am

This might be a little long, but I just wanted to say this out loud because I've been having increasing doubts about Zheng Xixi and Jian Yi being together. I know that in the future they live together, but it's not certain whether Xixi accepts Jian Yi's feelings after they are out of high school. Now I don't mean to be a party pooper and I desperately want them to be together, but this scene in ch 221 just keeps sticking in my head.
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/19_days/bt/tr_chapter-221/pg-1/
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/19_days/bt/tr_chapter-221/pg-2/
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/19_days/bt/tr_chapter-221/pg-3/

It may not seem like much, but there have been times in manga/manhwa where the author will make a reference to something to allude to what is happening/going to happen in the story. It feels like the poetry the teacher is describing refers to Zhen Xi's and Jian Yi's relationship with one another. Jian Yi, who holds feelings for Zhen Xi feels a sort of frustration because he knows he doesn't like him in that way. To make up for it, he will relentlessly tease and touch (like throw an arm over his shoulder or slap his butt playfully, or just stick his lollipop in his mouth) because that is as far as he can go in their relationship without it developing into something more.

"In sorrow and in loneliness...forcing the the pursuit of happiness til' the end...will seem lonelier" . Notice how the words "will seem lonelier" is in the same panel showing Zhen Xi? My guess is that the more Jian Yi clings to Zhen Xi and does every little weird thing he can with him, it seems Zhen Xi gets steadily more and more brooding. At times, I swear, it feels like Zhen Xi gets taciturn for no reason whenever Jian Yi gets hyper around him. Now, I might know very little about relationships compared to some people, but doesn't it feel like Zhen Xi feels a little...distant? He absolutely knows that Jian Yi has a crush on him, yet he continues to be his friend because he obviously values him. But I think even he distances himself at times with Jian Yi because he probably doesn't want to give him false hope or he's questioning his feelings.

This reminds me of a situation of when I had a guy who I was friends with, liked me. I would simply enjoy talking to him but I didn't have any romantic interest in him or anything. Because I had the same interests as he, I ended up being talkative around him ,and thus too friendly so that he confessed to me, thinking I liked him back the same as he. When I apologized, saying that I didn't see him that way, I started privately feeling guilty that maybe I had given him the wrong signal "leading him on" by being too talkative, when all I wanted, was just a friend to talk to. In the end, we went on through life like nothing happened and we were cheery again. But now, it felt like something had changed in me. I was still friends with him, but I was no longer that gushy effusive talkative person like before. It was as if an invisible wall were created. I knew that I could never be too talkative nor too friendly around him because now I knew that he had interest in me, and I didn't want to maybe unwittingly "lead him on" a second time.
With my long-ass explanation and personal experience, I hope you can connect the dots with what I'm trying to say about Zhen Xi and Jian Yi's relationship. It feels like Zhen Xi is holding back because he knows Jian Yi has a crush on him and wants to set up those boundaries without it breaking their friendship. If your best friend is hella gay for you, how do you react? They are your best friend and you want to be with them, but at the same time, you know that it won't last forever given you don't think of them that way. There's also a sense of guilt involved that makes you question whether it's still right being close to someone you know has that kind of affection for you or whether you're being cruel without realizing it.
My only hope is that in the future, Zhen Xi's platonic friendship evolves into actual like-liking for Jian, because right now, I feel like there's going to be some kind of argument or storm up ahead with them (or either one of them).
Thank you for patiently reading this, and let me know what you think!

Responses
    fujotakako May 13, 2018 4:32 pm

    ahhh i agree with you so much!!! i just really hope there will be even more development soon bc my heart cant take it ( ̄へ ̄)

    Anonymous May 13, 2018 5:00 pm

    Hey there, so to put your worries aside, let me first off start by saying the author herself has already confirmed them to be together in the future (when the live together and such). There have been multiple official illustrations of them as a couple in the future, many of them kissing and one where they even have matching rings on their weddings fingers which you can view below:

    https://imgur.com/a/4koGO
    https://imgur.com/a/DhIDRck

    as for the scene you link, I see it more as a farewell of the phase of jian yi's pursuit and implies there will be a new phase since his feelings have become clear to zhan zheng xi now, especially since their relationship has gotten a lot closer emotionally and physically after jian yi confessed. there is a definite change/progress. forehead kiss, sleeping in the same bed together (something xi didn't do with him early in the story), going on a date to the park the next day, jian yi calling himself 'his man' while zheng xi blushed furiously while not denying it, xi becoming more comfortable and not worrying about what other students at school think - sitting on jian yi's lap, recently staring at jian yi's lips a lot, etc.

    “the ‘cold’ […] implies a soul that is penetrated by a chill,” (the chill - a feeling/disease, often a metaphor for love)

    in the scene, jian yi's eyes are sleepy looking, which would be a metaphor to him being so lovesick. "In sorrow and in loneliness...forcing the the pursuit of happiness til' the end...will seem lonelier" jian yi struggled a lot with his coming to terms with his feelings for zhan, and it felt lonely because he couldn't go up to anyone about it, not his best friend because his best friend was the very person - the main subject - that surrounded his struggling feelings. it felt lonely because he couldn't talk to him (or anyone else) about it. I think this scene was more describing what jian yi's feelings were like before the confession. "yet it is unable to resist" despite struggling with his feelings and trying to hold back, jian yi couldn't deny these feelings. I see this scene as more describing what jian yi's struggle WAS like and not how something will be in the future.. it makes more sense that way. also jian yi's feelings aren't that one sided as some people may think: this explains it really well and this is in fact an old post, if it were to be updated with the other more recent things zhan zheng xi has done, the list would be longer. http://alliandoalice.tumblr.com/post/141081985607/zhans-feelings-towards-jian-yi

    The thing with zhan zheng xi is that he is the character we actually see the least amount of delving into, we don't see his thoughts/pov or background as much as the other three and I think because of this people tend to misunderstand him or mischaracterize him the most. thing is, zhan zheng xi loves jian yi, however the type of character he is - is one where they don't realize they are in love or it takes them a while too. it's been shown through many of his actions (and sayings) that he loves jian yi, always wanting to protect him, being jealous when a girl flirts with jian yi in front of him, always initiating the one to grab his hand etc. its not uncommon for authors to create characters such as this where it takes them a bit to realize their feelings (essentially it's a while for us since the chapters are so short and 10+ chapters can be one whole day for them.. it's only been a few days in the manhua, about 2 weeks so they're relationship from the beginning is actually moving quite quickly yet naturally). zheng xi isn't always annoyed by jian yi, he tends to get overly worried and scolds him when he does something reckless and jian yi is reckless a lot of the time. also he's a soft tsundere, not a hard one like mo, but a slight tsundere all the same.. aka hard exterior on the outside but soft interior.. it's how his character is written so he isn't actually 'meh' by his presence. he isn't distant as you may think. he is always eager to hear jian yi's thoughts and listens to him seriously.. if anything it's the opposite, he's always desperate for his presence, going crazy without sleep when jian yi was gone for two days saying "I want to see him", he also always wants to know where he is, and even got huffy when he was without jian yi for one school period when jian yi was at the nurse's office. neither of them really like being separated.

    it took him a while to realize jian yi's feelings for him but after the confession when he finally knows. also I can't really remember where I read it but I once saw someone say "zhan zheng xi is extremely selfless, especially when it comes to jian yi (like its max 100x times), and although that is a very good quality to have, it can also be a flaw in that he doesn’t really often think about himself when he probably should and how he’s feeling (which is another reason I think that contributes to why it’s taken him so long to notice his own romantic feelings). he’s been so preoccupied with making sure jian yi is happy, realizes how important he is, that he is not abnormal, that he won’t abandon him no matter what, trying to understand what jian yi feels for him, along with the mafia trying to kidnap him repeatedly (making sure he’s safe) - and since zhan is so selfless, those are pretty much the only things on his mind. I think after being apart from jian yi for two days, not knowing where he was, really reaffirmed to himself how desperately he doesn’t want to be apart from him and how intense his attachment/feelings are. and now that he’s knows what jian yi feels for him, he can finally focus on his own feelings and he is surely, albeit slowly, figuring out that he is in love with his best friend." not to mention as I said earlier, we don't really get to see his own thoughts but he could also be worried about how it feels for other ppl in china to view them (something jian yi is afraid of as well).. but we just may not know because we don't see his pov often. I don't think he is leading him on at all. after the confession, zheng xi could've politely rejected jian yi or actually just not even say anything, not following jian yi to the couch and let jian yi think whatever he assumed was right.. but instead his cradled his face and kissed his forehead, which is not a platonic thing to do. and because they've been acting more affectionate after the confession, I don't think any 'invisible wall' as you refer to what happened to you in real life has been created. to me, your situation and this one is different. also this is fiction (remember fiction doesn't always correlate to how things work in real life either) where the couples are canonly endgame. there have been a few struggles as they reach their end goal but thats how it is with all mangas/manhuas/comics and there may (or may not be) more but ultimately their feelings are mutual and they get together one day, so need need to worry about that ;)

    I think what I wrote is probably longer than what you wrote so I apologize for that and thank you if you took the time yourself to read what I wrote. :) and sorry for any typos if there are any..

    kiughh May 13, 2018 5:05 pm
    Hey there, so to put your worries aside, let me first off start by saying the author herself has already confirmed them to be together in the future (when the live together and such). There have been multiple o... @Anonymous

    ahhhh preach

    fujotakako May 13, 2018 6:03 pm
    Hey there, so to put your worries aside, let me first off start by saying the author herself has already confirmed them to be together in the future (when the live together and such). There have been multiple o... @Anonymous

    thank you for this!

    Kaleidocat May 13, 2018 6:15 pm
    Hey there, so to put your worries aside, let me first off start by saying the author herself has already confirmed them to be together in the future (when the live together and such). There have been multiple o... @Anonymous

    Oh no, I don't mind at all that it's long. I really really REALLY like your analysis and thanks so much for making my mind at ease by pointing out they do end up together! I had actually thought those works of art by the author (the links you posted) weren't really relevant to the story and were more like just a "for fun" thing. I hadn't really known that they outlined truly ended up together in the future, so I had assumed the poem meant something else. I guess I hadn't really been giving Zhen Xi credit. You're right- he IS selfless and deeply cares about Jian Yi. If he was truly against Jian's love for him, he wouldn't have kissed him on the forehead like that. What you wrote is a much more convincing and certainly makes me feel better. You rock! ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

    Come to think of it- It seems like Jian and Zhen Xi are some kind of mucisians in a band. Do you know what their profession is in the future? The reason I'm asking is because I remember Mo in one chapter was looking longingly at an electric guitar on display which makes me feel Mo, He Tian, Zhen Xi, and Jian Yi might be together in the future creating music. He Tian has money and connections (remember when he landed Mo a job in a studio?) or maybe mo isn't in one since he's said he "doesn't like being out on display"

    Anonymous May 13, 2018 7:12 pm
    Oh no, I don't mind at all that it's long. I really really REALLY like your analysis and thanks so much for making my mind at ease by pointing out they do end up together! I had actually thought those works of ... Kaleidocat

    You guys are welcome!! Aww well I'm glad to have reassured you!!! (▰˘◡˘▰) But yes they truly end up together, poor things will have to go through jian yi disappearing for 3 years in between, leaving zhan zheng xi most likely heart broken (some people suspect they may kiss before he officially disappears which rises the angst level times 10000x, poor zhan if this actually happens). but luckily they get through it and jian yi comes back and eventually they end up happy together, even getting matching rings on their weddings fingers (which you can see in the rock band illustration). ;___; they're practically married (as much as china can allow them anyway).

    I agree with you too in that some people give Zheng Xi little credit, he actually does a lot and cares a lot more than people think which is why I hope one day the author delves more into his thoughts so people can understand him better. I'm happy you understood my analysis and you could see into not just how great a character zheng xi is but his love for jian yi, despite the typos (I kinda rushed it since today is mother's day where I live and I want to spend time with her lol) haha. And yeah in that illustration they are musicians, Zheng Xi is actually the drummer and Jian Yi plays the guitar, it is also possible that he is the lead singer because there seems to be a mic laying in the upper right corner behind the drums. There is also another illustration here https://imgur.com/a/PLwXa9j I have no idea if this is their profession in the future or if its is just some AU but it could possible!! Like you said Mo was longingly looking at an electric guitar. There is actually a musician illustration (I don't have the link for that one though sorry >.<) of He Tian and Mo too, He Tian is holding a guitar too. And from the instrument Mo was looking at in the chapter you are talking about, I'm assuming he's another guitar player. It seems they could've formed a band. So: Zhan Zheng Xi/Drums, Jian Yi guitar/possibly singing, He Tian/main bass, Mo/bass. It's either Jian Yi (most likely) or He Tian singing but I have a strong feeling its Jian Yi.. wouldn't be Zhan Zheng Xi or Mo because their personalities are very 'keep to themselves', they don't like attention so they certainly wouldn't be in the spotlight. Especially Mo since like you said he "doesn't like being put out on display".