I screamed and my mom is besides me. Holy shits I had to make a lame ass excuse.

Union flag but you say "mom" instead of Mum, and "lame ass" instead of arse?
Guess we all try to neutralise our language to make sure we are understood by an international audience, not sure most people would understand....
I screamed at ma maw next to me. Fucks sake, I had a pure reddy.

Uh sorry for living in uk even tho I’m from the us... oh wait
I beg your pardon because of my bloody bizarre vocabulary :)