Can I ask you how you would've handled the situation? What would you have said to your friend?
I'm just wondering, not criticizing ok? I have never had that kind of situation or anything similar so i'm really curious
Yeah, no problem. When i was in high school there was this family friend of ours, an older guy, he found out i was gay and started to "court" me. He call me beautiful, he started to spend more time with me, tried to get me to go drinking with him and even propositioned me with sex. At the time i was kinda considering getting a bf so it took me a bit before i decided i just didn't see him that way, he wasn't my type. I told him while it was just us that i "couldn't see him that way and didn't want to lead him on". We stayed just friends after that. Another time in highschool my friends Dakota, Josh and i were talking at the end of class. Dakota asked me if i found either of them attractive and i said i found them both attractive, but i'd date Josh. The tone of the conversation was light hearted, just Dakota being curious, and the way i said "i'd date Josh" could've been laughed off, but Josh looked me in the eyes then and said with a serious face "i'm really flattered but i'm straight". It honestly made me really happy because you could tell from the mood change there that he really took me seriously and gave me a proper response. Not going to lie, i kenda fell for him a little more there, he just came across so cool about it, i definitely got a bit more into him because of that. The mood went back to just the three of us talking after that and it was no big deal, Josh'd hang out with me alone with no awkwardness and everything.There was another time at work recently where i was talking to one of my female friends/a co-worker, i asked her what she'd do if i randomly got a gf even though i'm gay and she said "i'd wonder why it wasn't me", i immediately said "if i were straight i probably would date you, i think you're attractive, but i AM gay and couldn't look at any females that way". we've been friends since. It's better to confront peoples' feelings (if you KNOW they feel romantically about you, but you wont reciprocate) so that they can get closure and you guys can move on. If they think you're still an option, even if it's a mall hope that even THEY admit is unrealistic, they wont look at other people. Trust me, i know. I crushed on my childhood friend Mason for years and while he did reject me when i confessed, i always felt there was still a chance and because of that i'd pretend to hang out as a friend and still secretly pretend we were on dates (sometimes i'd purposely say "this is like a date" when we went out to go eat, it was something we did with just the two of us pretty often. I'd even offer to pay for him sometimes and he wouldn't mind), etc... You just let them know that you can't reciprocate while making it clear that you don't want to lose them as a friend.
"He tried in his own way to save their friendship" and "they were young so he could've handled Heesu the way he did because he was overwhelmed"- i don't think anyone takes issue with the idea of wanting to save a friendship, it's that Chanyoung's reason for wanting to came across as a lot more selfish than the ideal is. It's like he just wanted to "save their friendship" for himself, you can see this in the way he went about doing it as he is willing to hurt Heesu as much as it takes to get him to give up. Ah, i think that's a better wording for what has taken place, you say he is "trying to save their friendship" which sounds a lot more innocent than the reality here, i think a more accurate description would be that he is more focused on wanting Heesu to "give up on him" rather than on "saving their friendship". Them being friends was just a reason why he wanted him to give up. You point out that the situation could've been "overwhelming" for him and that could've been why he chose the path he did, but if you look back he's comes to the conclusion that this is how he should do things after calmly assessing the situation. He noticed Heesu's feelings and had been thinking about what to do. He even acknowledges that the 1st time he was mean to Heesu, in the flashback when Heesu is being possessive of him and he says "i can't hang out with you all the time", that it was intentional. He purposely said that to hurt him and had thought out what to say.
"heesu never said he wanted to be in a relationship or that he wanted to move on"- This is something i've pointed out myself, Heesu had no intentions of confessing, he was happy to just leave things as they are and suffer when Chanyoung gets a girl. It was Chanyoung who noticed Heesu's feelings and took issue, hence me thinking Chanyoung should've confronted him himself as it wasn't an issue on Heesu's side. He just chose "to hurt him till he gives up so we can stay JUST friends" instead of handling this in a way even remotely decent. Not sure how Chanyoung's actions are "Heesu's fault"? I've said this before, but it takes more courage to confess than it does to confront as in a confrontation he would've been making it clear that he JUST wants to be friends. Since Heesu had no incentive to do the much more difficult action of confessing to his straight best friend, and since the issue was on Chanyoung's side, he should've been the one to say something.
"Chanyoung's motivations in trying to maintain their friendship come across selfish. Heesu comes across as that he would carry the sky for him. I feel like Chanyoung wants to maintain their relationship while diverting Heesu's feelings elsewhere."- This goes into what i was saying in the 1st section. I don't feel like the focus was so much "saving/maintaining their friendship" so much as "getting him to give up" with their friendship being a reason why. If he treasured their friendship he wouldn't have chosen to "hurt him into giving up" as he'd care about hurting Heesu. He's too okay with hurting Heesu for me to think he cares about him, he makes it come across as a "necessary evil" while smiling and showing NO remorse. Also, it's not just that he's "trying to divert his feelings", he didn't care who they went to or the outcome of those feelings being diverted. Before he even found out Seungwon has feelings for Heesu, Chanyoung noticed them spending time together and his immediate thoughts were to try and see if Sungwon could take Heesu off his hands for a while because they "need time apart" as he says at Sungwon's house. He was going to push Heesu off onto a straight guy that he doesn't really know... It didn't matter WHO it was and the fact that it was a "straight guy" (he only started to have a hunch that Seungwon might have feelings for Heesu AFTER he left Seungwon's house. At the very least, he didn't have the hunch at that point in their conversation, the part where he mentions time apart) shows that he didn't care about the outcome either, it just ended up being lucky that this guy gave him a hunvh that he might be into Heesu.
"despite all this, Chanyoung hasn't done anything wrong, not to the point of being dislikeable"- i COMPLETELY disagree here, all of his actions were morally wrong at best and his motivations/intentions behind those actions have always been dubious as well. You're right, Chanyoung's actions ARE hurtful, that was the point, TO hurt Heesu. Not sure how his actions aren't dislikeable when he himself acknowledges that he's "purposely been being mean". ┑(￣Д ￣)┍
I see TOO many Chanyoung sympathizers (to each their own, i just can't agree with any opinions that try to paint Chanyoung in even a neutral light as he was clearly intentionally made to be controversial. He literally acknowledges himself that he's "being mean" in his approach to Heesu's feelings, huge understatement. He IS the "villain" in this manga, he fits the criteria at least. He's the deus ex machina manipulating the MC, to the MC's detriment, from the sidelines.) For some reason people feel the need to defend the actions of Chanyoung when he himself is admitting they aren't great.