Is it that you refused to talk or that you couldn't get yourself to talk. There is a slight chance you might have had selective mutism. It's a mental disorder where a person can't get themselves to say anything. It's more common is people with speech disorders and people who are learning a second language. I'm not saying that you have it but that there is a chance. It's very common for people to say that the person is refusing to speak so it would make sense if you did actually think that about yourself.
It's more that I just couldn't get myself to talk. I get so afraid of people judging me if I talked for too long. People thought I was just being rude or unfriendly, but I was just trying to save them from my longing jibber jabber
Hmmm, so you're saying that you could get yourself to talk but not for a very long amount of time? You were ok with saying short things. So what kinds of short things were you ok with saying? Was it just words, a sentence or perhaps a few sentences. I'm in no way a professional, you shouldn't take anything I say at face value. I'm just interested because you do seem to have some parallels with someone with sm.
I don't think it is in any way, serious. I just have a, I guess you can say, "fear" of talking to people. Unless I know them REALLY well, I won't really talk much to them. But even when it's to someone I know, I would still be very cautious of the time I'm wasting of their lives And sometimes it's just me being 'unable' to talk for too long as I start to stumble on words and things eventhough I clearly know the answers to it. My words start slurring and I find myself starting to have a lump in my throat that eventually stops me from talking. I didn't really think much about it, but just the fact of having to talk to someone is frightening to me, I generally start feeling like I'm gonna throw up or start sweating profusely. But then again, that seems like a normal thing that probably anyone that has social anxiety will experience, so I don't think it is anything HUGE atleast i hope not lol. (See this is my problem, I talk alot in text but irl I just can't seem to put my thoughts into words as easily)
(Dude I just realized I didn't actually answer your question ) I can say like 1 sentence. But if I really tried, I can got for 3. But that's when I start messing up on my wordings and my thoughts are all over the place
If it's like that now then you should be alright. Btw, are you in the uk?
Yea I am
Is it just me or is this weather slowly killing you too?
Ooooo are you in the UK too?? And yea but I guess it could be worse ngl XD usually, it's not even sunny in the UK it's just rain, fogs and clouds lmao
Yeah. I can't wait for this to end.
heyyyyyy its not that bad!!! XD i guess its not very hot from where you're from??
I kinda relate to Ruri on a personal level. English was not my first language, so I had massive difficulty talking to people for a long while. When I was 3-5, I didn't talk to any of my play-school classmates at all and would just play dolls by myself. Until i was like 7, I actually got more confident in my English and actually tried to make friends as before, I was really quiet and refused to talk to anyone (I know I brought that onto myself). But since I had such a slow start, I'm still trying to develop this skill of talking to people naturally. Even now (I'm 15), I still have difficulty talking to adults due to honorifics and even my family. I can talk to kids and my friends normally as they tend not to care if I make mistakes. But even then, I would overthink the things I say and start thinking things like "nobody cares. Just shut up already" if I talk to people for more than 2 minutes at a time...