God !!

- Suffered rape and beatings from a man who was meant to be his step father
- Was told he was just like a girl, to keep quiet and as a coping mechanism developed a shield where he convinced himself that his abuser(s) were not at fault and that he was a "masochist".
- Mother likely neglected her son as a child, seeing as the flashbacks of Yashiro as a young boy are him alone, or as a teen he laments that people love you, then they don't and speaks poorly of her. His mother abandoned him when he was only 15.
- Doesn't really view himself as gay or straight, as he has only experienced unrequited love with Kageyama and sacrificed himself to the yakuza for him.
- Has a poor self worth, he self harms by needing to have violent sexual encounters as this is easier to cope with, than dealing with the pressures of romantic connections.
- Love to Yashiro is painful, it means being aware that he was a victim of rape, of abandonment that he can't just block out these traumas by being used by yakuza men and accepting being beaten. Doumeki wasn't willing to indulge Yashiro's coping mechanisms, he was also willing to die for him and on occasion was nearly shot in the head. His situation of unrequited love, of blocking out his true emotions and trauma, of pretending to be a "masochist" were harmful, but it gave him a sense of familiarity and it was what he could cope with. Doumeki changed everything, he experienced sex with emotion, he experienced painful triggers and realisations to his past, he had Kageyama who has been pig ignorant to the real Yashiro for all these years confront him. Everyone in Yashiro's life has either used him, abused him, left him or thinks that the act he puts on is real, but not Doumeki. Yashiro has been living in his comfort zone for decades, and within a few months D has basically thrown a spanner in the works.

I don t want to see Yashiro out of character. Yashiro would never beg another person to stay with him. He gorgeous how he is, no need to beg (⌒▽⌒)

Damn... that was deep asf

I do agree with everything you said !!
You see I don't hate Yashiro but You know, I don't think Doumeki should be treated that way !
What ever the reason Yashiro has for not being with the one who treating him with respect and care about him a lot, He needs to snap out of it already, it's been so long since Yashiro gave everything to other people and denied himself !
He's been hurting Doumeki too much it's just so sad seeing him casting away what he wants the most for the sake of other people !!