1) The abuse started earllier, we have the scene with the mother with bruises on her face and Sangwoo was still a little child, the scene with the lover happened when Sangwoo was 12.
2) A normal parent doesn't abuse the mother of his son in front of him, stop justify that piece of shit.
There are scenes scattered all throughout, it's up to you to place them right. The 1st scene seems to be the one where she suffocates him and then the next is the one with the lover as Sangwoo is still a child. The abuse came after, Sangwoo "pities mom" because she's insane and tried to kill him.
He became an alcoholic, he had an addiction that her crazy ass pushed him to. She ruined him like she did Sangwoo. Open your eyes, the manhwa has basically confirmed all this. It literally SHOWED him normal before the abuse and she JUST said he was "so cute when he proposed", HE was in love with HER.
If you want i can cite the page where Sangwoo's dad stops her from SMOTHERING THEIR SON randomly even before he started to abuse her. He says "we agreed we'd be happy!"... He was normal at first, he was trying to keep her crazy ass in check.
Or maybe it was his way to manipulate her in submission? "You said you liked it" and "we agreed we'd be happy" are typical abuser sentences as well. She seemed she didn't want that child and she wasn't happy.
Even Sangwoo can be kind and cute with Bum, yet he abused him multiple times. We found out that the Uncle himself was kind sometimes.
the scene with the lover, Sangwoo is 12. The scene is set the day before Sangwoo receives the letter from his classmate. In chapter 50 we found out they were starting middle school soon, so it means Sangwoo is at least 12. And he knew his father beat her up.
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/killing_stalking/mf/m_chapter-40/pg-17/
in the scene with the letter, Sangwoo's mom has bruises like rope burns on her legs, and the father isn't fat and drunk yet.
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/killing_stalking/mf/m_chapter-40/pg-42/
You don't keep a person in check abusing her, especially in front of your child. He didn't anything but beating her up until she decided to poison him. I don't excuse her but she deserves the same understanding of the situation of Sangwoo. I don't think Koogi gave Sangwoo reasons to be a torturer rapist and killer but no, the mom was just crazy and evil guys, it was all her fault! Terrible writing if that is the case.
"you don't keep a person in check by abusing her"- You either didn't understand what i said or are intentionally twisting things. The VERY 1ST memory within the timeline that was actually revealed just recently after a LONG string of memories that were supposed to make us feel sorry for Sangwoo's mother and think Sangwoo's dad was a monster shows the context of their relationship. He wasn't always abusive, he started out normal, this is what has been shown. You're just speculating that he abused her before the smothering scene. The POINT of that scene was to throw our preconceived notions out the window, it reveals that dad was actually the sane one at first and mom was crazy. It's during THIS time that he was "keeping her in check", not by abusing her. That came later. I made it clear that he became addicted to alcohol and turned to abuse.
About the scene, yes, it looks like she was already being abused before the cheating, but that is only slightly relevant as in that scene we see another instance of how she is actually cunning. She knows Sangwoo saw her having sex with another man and, guilt-free told the guy not to worry because Sangwoo "feels sorry for mommy". She's manipulative. She knows this abused little boy isn't going to tell on her and smiles about it. She plays on his love for her. Now she's doing the same, she acts motherly while poisoning him.
You changed a few details, but it doesn't really make a difference to what i was saying. I'm glad you fixed the timeline, but if you're presenting that as an argument against the narrative i described, it isn't an argument so much as a small change. The reveal is that she isn't as innocent as she seems. There is nothing implying she was abused during the smothering scene, there is nothing implying she was trying to "weaken" dad and Sangwoo.
Nobody said she wasn't manipulative though, and i have never thought after chapter 40 (the first flashback) she was completely innocent.
My main problem with the father is he didn't do anything to keep her in check. Sangwoo spent a lot of time alone with his mother, she could have killed him every moment. We don't see him doing anything at all until he started abusing her, at least he was neglectful, because I have the impression he knew she had some issues before she attempted to kill their son.
Actually I haven't said I'm sure she was trying to weaken them, but it could be the case. I'm sure she didn't like to be abused, yes she used the victim card to her advantage but I think she would have chosen differently rather being covered in bruises. Maybe she just wanted to kill him slowly and painfully, or maybe this was the only way for a weaker person to face the stronger abuser regularly beating her.
and tbh, I think of the uncle when people say " sangwoo's dad was normal,m she was her who made him an abuser". Even Bum's uncle seemed kind the first time he met Bum, if we should trust those memories. What did it happen he became a drunkard and a rapist? Bum made him like this? Or maybe the truth is the abusers aren't always violent and dangerous, and sometimes they even love their victims?
Bum's uncle and Sangwoo's dad aren't the same situation, Bum's uncle didn't have someone there driving him nuts. I agree that Sangwoo's mom should've been sent to a mental hospital, but i don't agree with you blaming him for NOT sending her. She was his WIFE, they had a KID and she deserves a fucking oscar for hee acting abilities. He probably thought he could work things out with her. Anyways, i respect your ability to speculate on things, but you're arguing what has explicitly been shown WITH speculation. I'm saying "this is what is shown" and you're saying "oh, well we don't know, it could've been like this". Yes, it could've been like anything, but right now we go off of what we've got. It'd be one thing if there was a solid basis behind these speculations, but it's really just "it could be this". Which is fine, i'm just not going to view it as a valid argument. A valid theory, not a valid argument. What has been shown explicitly is that dad was sane amd mom was insane, things got worse presumably because she was fucking crazy. There is no other cause given for why things could've gotten worse between them, right now the only problem between the two of them that we've been given is that she goes crazy every once in a while and tries to suffocate their kid. HE proposed to HER, HE loved HER. Cheating isn't a normal response to domestic abuse, normally you'd be too scared to cheat. It implies she was playing the dad. She chose poison instead of easier ways to kill him, this implies a want for prolonged suffering. He used to get black-out drunk, she had many opportunities. She didn't show joy at being free when he died, she let Sangwoo think he did it and then reinforced this idea in his head, she then went on to act motherly while poisoning Sangwoo. These events FOR SURE happened. No speculation. Only logical inferences where information is missing.
The story shows just the abusive dad at first to make us feel sorry for Sangwoo's mom and to make us think Sangwoo's dad is why he became a killer, but now it's shown that Sangwoo's dad was a normal guy and Sangwoo's mom was already crazy and cheating even before he started abusing her. He had been a normal, loving parent keeping her crazy in-check as shown in the scene where she goes to suffocate child Sangwoo for seemingly no reason when he comes in, realizes what's happening, freaks out, stops her and then yells "we said we were going to be happy!". Then it shows a flash forward, Sangwoo's dad became a drunk and started abusing mom (presumably BECAUSE of her crazy/the fact that she was cheating on him/etc), then another flash forward to mom poisoning dad and making Sangwoo think HE was responsible when she says "i'll keep your secret" and "i'll protect you". He blamed himself and she let him, then enforced that it was his fault. Now, presumably, she's trying to off Sangwoo to tie up the last loose end in her kill.