I think it’s just a mechanism that mangaka use to develop drama and angst but the reality is that it hurts your feelings and others and I’m sorry about that (づ￣ ³￣)づ gives big HUG
I would think it's a legitimate fear in Japan though. Family pressure is massive for sons, especially the first born son. There is no gay marriage, no adopting if your a gay couple and surrogacy is illegal. Employers, friends and family shunning you isn't just a possibility in Japan, it's a probability. In the US or UK, Canada, etc it's very different.
In yaoi fanfiction you'll probably get a lot of slut shaming
In yaoi manga you get a lot of bisexual shaming
Honestly it's all very tiring and annoying
I hate how in a lot of bl manga, they treat bisexual people as if they're nothing but players, being bisexual myself, this stereotype really hurts. They're basically saying "don't date bisexual people, they'll just leave you or cheat on you with the opposite sex."
It's annoying and i'd guess the reason why this hurts, is because there are people who genuinely think this is how we are.