For the same reason we like rape fantasy, bc it’s hot- as a fantasy. I love a scary man and non con in my fantasies and my romance even though I’ve been raped and had a bf wake me up with a knife to my throat. Reality and fantasy are two different things. It’s why I find all the rape fantasy shaming so asinine. Irl a overly possessive dick lover is untenable and a recipe for disaster, in fantasy it’s delicious. There’s a few psychological theories on why women (and some men) enjoy fantasizing and reading noncon fiction (this includes fiction with an abusive partner) but all of them say it’s a normal expression of sexuality. And there’s even research on the prevelance of rape victims who enjoy rape fantasies. The point is although there are deeper societal and cultural reasons for women (and some men) to enjoy this stuff, it’s normal and doesn’t mean we want it irl. Irl consent is important and necessary but just like in fiction you can have a fantasy world with dragons and mermaids, you can also have romance with a possessive dick who doesn’t take no for an answer and it be hot; when outside of fantasy it’s the opposite of hot.
I think they mostly mean visual wise and not personality... like piercing and cool-looking is hot in some way...
This is why the bad character is often an old fat guy. Put a nice face on him and suddenly nobody cares for his wrongdoings.
Well, I didn't like stalker guy at all. And I loved the personality of glasses guy a lot, he was such a caring lover
When I see comments like yours, my hope for humanity increases immensely! An intelligent, articulate person with their head on their shoulders is so rare here and on the internet in general. Thank you for taking the time and effort to make this comment.
So many young people here, and on the internet in general, have this idea that life and fantasy are one and the same. As if, thus far, their life has been lived as if it were a fairy tale. To some extent, that is good, because children should be protected from the harshness of the world, but when they harbor those beliefs into puberty and beyond, that naiveté can be dangerous for them. There are plenty of bad people who will use that against them and manipulate their feelings to hurt them in the end. It makes me scared and worried for them. I was once that naive child myself and when the world showed it's true face, I had no one to help, support or guide me. I became jaded and bitter for a long time. It was only thanks to finding someone who genuinely cared for me, supported me, understood me and refused to judge me or leave my side, that I could see the world again without the blinders of bitterness and anger. The way I lived during those bitter times, trusting no one and living behind a thick wall of protection around my heart, is such a sad and pathetic way to live. It wasn't living, it was existing and I never want to see another person live like I did. If I had a friend like you back then... well, I'm just glad you're here now, guiding others with genuine care and honesty. Thank you.
Thanks. And I’m glad you’ve found peace. For me I feel like as fucked up as much of my childhood was I at least had the benefit of a mom who was a radical feminist and lesbian who took us to Take Back The Night protests,(and a slew of others), who worked as a rape crisis counseler and taught me about racial, sexual, religious and gender equality and to be passionate about fighting for them. Unfortunately even that upbringing didn’t prepare me for the fucking predatory nature of some men who wore the face of a regular guy. This whole controversy is a tough one bc im all about consent and I love that ppl are passionate about it. I believe misogyny and rape culture are a result of our puritanical and patriarchal roots and culture, and that it hurts not just females but males as well. (So this next big is a bit of a rant where I again try to educate those who might stumble across this post.) But there’s this fucking knee jerk condemnation that has some of these same ppl shaming ppl who are the ones at risk of being raped or have been raped. I just get a little irritated when someone tries to lecture me about rape in fiction as though that has anything to do with rape culture. Or what we want to happen irl. And they’re fucking shaming an actual rape victim. And not just date rape (not that that’s any less terrible) but Special Victims unit shit. Like being gang rapped or when a neighbor who I was terrified of drugged me and carried my unconscious body from my apt to spend the night to raping me. A rape that caused a pregnancy which led to an abortion which all in all left me a wreck and suffering from ptsd. A rape it didn’t even occur to me to report bc I did sex work and knew it would only be a humiliating waste of time. That’s once I recovered from the shock that left me feeling guilt and shame even though intellectually I knew the rape victim isn’t the one who should feel that way. But we often don’t react to rape the way we think we will. So when I stumble across ppl confusing the natural and normal phenomenon of rape fantasy with real world rape, I want to ask them do they really think women reading this are all pro rape? Do they think I am? Sexual abuse and rape has affected every aspect of my life since I was a child. My mom was raped and my sister was raped. Many of my friends as a teenager were sexually abused as children and teens and I’ve not just personally been damaged by it but I’ve seen what it does to others. My mom even after decades of therapy still wakes up at least once a week from a nightmare where she relives being raped at 14 by a neighbor. If they don’t want to believe me about the actual data on this topic they could just google it. There are articles and studies describing the phenomenon that many women, even rape victims enjoy rape fantasy. And not bc they actually want to be raped (outside consentual role play), but bc it fulfills a need for us. In fact in repressive societies where women are often afraid or to ashamed to say they were raped you’ll see even more rape romanticism. The theory that I contect with the most hypothesizes that it’s a way for women who don’t feel comfortable with their sexuality bc of reasons that are cultural, religious (etc) are using rape fantasy to assuage the guilt that they associate with their sexuality. I’m pretty sure I like it for the same reason I like yaoi, Bc I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable with female sexuality. Mine included. Sex used to be such an important part of my life but I can’t stand the idea of it anymore and reading romance with a female protagonist makes me feel icky. Non con is a way of taking the responsibility for feeling sexual off the female. That’s why you almost never see the uke (who traditionally in a genre that was written for and by women as a stand in for the female) say No No in sex even when they initiate it and clearly want it. Same in het erotic manga where the female says no no. It’s bc Japan is highly repressed sexually, especially women and gay ppl. Maintaining modesty even while fucking is paramount. They literally have festivals carrying giant cocks through the streets and young girls sucking on treats that look like dicks but a female artist who makes art out of casts of her genitals is arrested for indecency. Bc god forbit you show a twat. Literally in female themed porn they can only show women getting oral by putting a pillow between the actresses legs with ruffles meant to simulate the labia. And gay ppl are considered incomplete. I’m not saying America (or the west) is better then japan, but understand the context of why you see this kind of content coming from there. And many of us in the west eat it up and create our own rape fantasy erotica. There’s a wildly popular series on amazon about women getting raped by Bigfoot. It’s written by and for women and they like it for the same reason women in Japan like non con manga. Rape fantasy is quite prevalent in the west but I’m certain if you did a comparison between more conservations sexually repressive cultures you’ll find even more. Finding things erotic in fiction that we think of as frightening or even traumatizing irl is how many real deal their sexuality that was shaped by misogyny, religion, patriarchy and culture.
Also I’m sure some found the ex hot bc he was drawn sexy but I personally found him hot bc he was hot and scary, yandere, and rapey. Doesn’t mean I want that irl but I also wouldn’t want any of the shit I fantasize about to happen irl either. Like srsly I don’t ever want to get ass fucked by a giant strap on but when I’m trying to hurry up and care of business I find the fantasy super hot.
Light reading:
Why Do Women Have Erotic Rape Fantasies? | Psychology TodayPsychology Today › psyched
When Rape Survivors Have Rape Fantasies - VICEVice › en_au › article › when-ra...
5 Reasons Women Love Rape Fantasies | Thought CatalogThought Catalog › 2015/02 › 5-reasons-...
Women's rape fantasies: an empirical evaluation of the major explanations. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › pubmed
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/05/i-am-a-happy-woman-so-why-do-i-fantasise-about-sex-abuse-mariella-frostrup
Why are there all these comments saying the stalker is hot.....? He says and does threatening things. Ya know, the things that could seriously get someone hurt. It's hard to feel attracted to that. Σ( ￣□￣||)