The issue isn’t the medium. The issue is that this author along with a predominant number of them within the BL genre make light of abuse in how they portray it. With almost all of them having the abuser be sympathetic to their readers. This is deliberate. Afterall it’s a man being abused not a woman after all. So why acknowledge that despite the change in gender the heteronormative application of psychically strong and emotionally weak is still seen in these counterparts. Unfortunately this is not limited to BL but is seen in various other fictional and non fictional forms of storytelling across the board. I don’t blame the characters I blame the author and the editor and the whole team of people who make money off this sort of narrative but don’t care to show the reality of what violence or toxic behavior looks like other than using it for pornographic entertainment in the most banal way. I blame a society that knows sex sells. I blame a world that forgives and encourages toxic behavior rather than acknowledge and reflect how it’s failed us and continues to. It’s applying abuse as a form of sexiness and ultimately a desirable characteristic with the excuse of a passionate and emotional lover be humanized by their violence. It’s applying “boys will be boys” and “men are trash” as the premeditated excuse for men to behave without care and consideration because society already has forgiven them of their violence. It doesn’t matter that this is a fictional story it’s exhausting that this narrative continues to be the standard everywhere you turn and look. Some may enjoy it that’s their right. But stop making excuses for how this continues to be the standard for even sadly enough work written by women for women. The irony of it is more than demoralizing and just truly sad to even bother further discussion.
i have no issues with reading books with dark subjects. i DO have an issue with someone posting a comment like this on a site where there are children that can be influenced.
"And a different person can change them, that is if that person can wiggle their way into his heart. And people think differently and hence love is different for them, change is possible for him, but he just hasn't met the person to make him think so. "
im sorry, but if i see that, i am going to speak up even if it pisses people off. books are meant to create a discussion. whether it is fictional or not. abuse is still abuse, and i cant ignore someone posting such an ignorant comment.
well there is something known as an act of forgiveness, but i'm not saying like to literally try and save the black haired dude. I meant to say that he "COULD" change if he just met the right person, i don't know why ya'll are hating on this, i just wanted to have the black haired guy have his own little happiness, ya'll are treating him like he wasn't meant to exist, like he ain't human, the guy has feelings, so give him another chance, let the guy experience happiness.
im just saying that people dont change that easily. if you know someone is an abuser, rapist, or pedophile and want to risk your safety in the hopes that he will change, then thats your choice. whether or not he deserves to be happy is irrelevent. when you are using your life to make someone else miserable, beat them up, and beat up anyone that is interested in the person you "love." then you're happiness doesnt really matter anymore. he is still showing signs of being controlling. he still has anger issues and hasnt bothered getting help for it.
im just saying in real life its not worth the risk being with an abuser. i watch crime watch daily, and abusers are usually the ones that end up killing their spouses for a perceived offense. look at the poor guy in this manga that ended up in a hospital with a broken look. the uke was already in the hospital once. he is capable of extreme violence.
you can forgive someone, without letting them hurt you. my sister tried for years to forgive and hope that her drug dealing, abusive husband would change. he would even claim that he found God. Until the day she found out that he tried feeling up his own daughter. I dont believe people that enjoy hurting the ones they love can change. But thats just me...
First of all i don't know why kids would be on here..... and i was speaking with a heart in mind. Yes, abuse is still abuse BUT is he not aloud to change for the better? Is he not aloud to try and ask for forgiveness? Is he seriously not aloud to be a character who can be happy because everyone says "abuser will be abusers and are trash and will never change". I just wanted to try and understand, is it sooo bad that i'm like this?, is it sooo bad that i can forgive such a person? Am i wrong, because everyone says so? Seriously, is it too much to be a person like me?
like i said. if someone wants to risk their life like that then go out. sure we can hope an abuser can change. personally i wouldnt take the risk to be with them. your own safety is more important than wanting to forgive someone.
i cant tell you what to feel, i just dont think its worth the risk.
p.s. yes there are kids on this site. i used to read yaoi at a very young age, so i would know.
i dont want to keep going in circles so lets leave this here. you are free to forgive and understand whoever you wish. as an adult, i know that people like this do not change.
I understand what you're saying, but it was an "If" question, I was just holding onto that last bit of hope that he could change if he met someone who is capable of changing him, but it seems I should never hope for the better in these kind of people, I lost my little bit of hope left for these people and now I feel like sh*t, i thought these were the only good qualities i had as a person but it seems not, who would have thought that these comments could easily take away the things i want to hope and believe in.
not my intention to make you feel like crap. im just saying, you can hope for people to change. i just want you to be careful. just look up stories of abused wives. they believed their love could change their husbands, some even bring children to their lives, and the children are abused too.
i dont want you to change yourself, its great to want to see the best in people. but i care, and wouldnt want someone to put themselves in danger. it is very common for women to believe they can change someone.
https://psiloveyou.xyz/why-i-will-never-judge-another-abuse-victim-a01a1bb7623a
so please dont feel bad, thats not my intention.
Tbh both semes are actually alright. The black haired seme... you just have to understand him better. He is just going through shit and he clearly doesn't know the norms of how to treat others, and had a different upbringing. If he finds someone who understands him better than our mc, he would actually become a great man, take his older brother for example. Though we don't know much about him, just looking at the brotherly relationship tells us alot about him deep down. Well i love this manga as well as the characters, i just hope they all get their own happiness.