Hm

natalka17 March 18, 2020 4:11 am

I lose the point of the story sometimes.
Why do they lie and make it more and more? Why does it have to be useless drama because of it in the future? The whole thing feels like it makes little progress and I'm becoming tired. Even sex scenes don't give off anything special, they're super short and come in the middle of the act which destroys the sexual tension between the guys. Moreover, uke always act somehow coy and embarrased for some reason, those are not his first times by no means, so he should act normally...

Responses
    FuOAyMe March 18, 2020 9:29 am

    I mean that's the point of the whole thing
    We still don't know why hangyum lied
    We don't know How they ended up like in high school but the story is going there, sure the pacing is short and all but it's to introduce the other characters and their roles in this

    Anonymous March 18, 2020 12:57 pm
    I mean that's the point of the whole thing We still don't know why hangyum lied We don't know How they ended up like in high school but the story is going there, sure the pacing is short and all but it's to int... FuOAyMe

    Yep but if we keep not knowing why Hangym lied it gets difficult to keep relating to the character. The reader needs to be able to relate to a character in order to get interested in what will become of them in the future, but when chapters keep coming one after another and you still don't know shit about the character you start becoming disinterested

    Kal March 19, 2020 2:24 am

    The story is being fleshed out (slowly) therefore all the confusing things will make sense later. Try to stomach it in and be impressed or unimpressed by the results.
    ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭ Of course the smut could be longer but whatever.

    Kal March 19, 2020 2:24 am
    The story is being fleshed out (slowly) therefore all the confusing things will make sense later. Try to stomach it in and be impressed or unimpressed by the results. ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭ Of course the smut could ... Kal

    Sorry if I sounded demanding, by the way, it wasn't my intention.

    natalka17 March 19, 2020 5:38 am
    Sorry if I sounded demanding, by the way, it wasn't my intention. Kal

    It's not at all demanding. I think when you write a story you better don't half-ass it cuz it's pointless to do something that will be somehow dissapointing and the reader won't feel 'whole'. I'm not critizing the story itself yet, but it gets harder ( ̄へ ̄)

    natalka17 March 19, 2020 5:39 am
    Yep but if we keep not knowing why Hangym lied it gets difficult to keep relating to the character. The reader needs to be able to relate to a character in order to get interested in what will become of them in... @Anonymous

    I agree that's what it actually is also about

    Anonymous March 19, 2020 11:22 am

    This is really negative. Which is okay to not like the story. The story is moving slow. And the sex scenes are short. This is a story with a plot that doesn’t focus on the sex just the story. I don’t agree it does not destroy the sex tensions inbetween them. I don’t agree with Hajin being coy and embarrassed. Maybe he is acting normally. Hajin is feisty. I actually think since you are tried and stuck on the lying part, you just miss many good things about the story and have negative opinions over it

    Mi Amore Anon March 19, 2020 2:20 pm

    Why do they lie? I think it is afraid of rejection...
    At least that is what I am picking up on from the story.

    Hajin has a bad break up and I would guess afraid of being hurt like he was was with Jaehee for how he acted when Hangyum asked him to be a couple. Then even if deep down Hajin knows this is Hangyum that he knew, he could still see him as an playboy idol that may be a different person. He may think he is just a passing fling. And he is trying not to get attached but he is.

    Hangyum is afraid if Hajin learns the truth he will leave him and not want to see him (chapter 19). From chapter 8 and chapter 21, Hajin could had rejected him in the past, and he is afraid of losing Hajin and being rejected.

    When someone has been rejected, men especially, it hard to get over those feelings and put your heart back out there. They need to get confident and be brave. That is why most of time men wait until they ask “will you marry me” it is when they know it would be an yes. “Men are afraid of rejection because they see it as a sign of loss of self esteem. A man feels loss of worth if he's not accepted and that he's not valuable. “

    Kal March 19, 2020 8:42 pm
    It's not at all demanding. I think when you write a story you better don't half-ass it cuz it's pointless to do something that will be somehow dissapointing and the reader won't feel 'whole'. I'm not critizing ... natalka17

    That's very true

    natalka17 March 19, 2020 11:45 pm
    This is really negative. Which is okay to not like the story. The story is moving slow. And the sex scenes are short. This is a story with a plot that doesn’t focus on the sex just the story. I don’t agree... @Anonymous

    Oh I see some positives. But I just cannot get my mind around why they try to hide those small details like Hajin keeping secret that he had boyfriends... Why? Is that so bad? He doesn't seem like he cares a lot about people opinions so why?
    Anyway I'm not saying I don't like the story, it's fine.
    Just, as a writer, I see some things in creation of charcters that could have been done better. I always spend countless hours to make sure that my characters act according to their personalities, consistently, rationally, so that the reader might refer himself or at least understand the motives. I feel lack of this quality in some actions.

    Anonymous March 20, 2020 10:26 pm
    Why do they lie? I think it is afraid of rejection... At least that is what I am picking up on from the story. Hajin has a bad break up and I would guess afraid of being hurt like he was was with Jaehee for h... Mi Amore Anon

    That makes sense. What chapter is it where they talk about how it would ruin someone’s career for being gay? Or something if that effect.

    Anonymous March 20, 2020 10:53 pm
    Oh I see some positives. But I just cannot get my mind around why they try to hide those small details like Hajin keeping secret that he had boyfriends... Why? Is that so bad? He doesn't seem like he cares a lo... natalka17

    This is a story from a different country. It is probably taking from their social norms. He has been with Hangyum but he has not opened up to him and shared with him.
    As a writer myself and understanding you, i would would to change things and some conversations because some conversations fall short. But I did not see where Hajin is being coy or embarrassed or how the sex scenes ruins their sexual tension. I think Hajin is being Hajin. I don’t think I would tell an causal sex buddy that is an idol all of my past relationships. Sometimes, if it hard of people to open up. Now if Hajin and Him were dating and Hajin knew this was not just a fling but his friend from the past. I bet he will open up to him then.

    Mi Amore Anon March 20, 2020 11:59 pm
    That makes sense. What chapter is it where they talk about how it would ruin someone’s career for being gay? Or something if that effect. @Anonymous

    Chapter 15.

    Mi Amore Anon March 21, 2020 12:08 am
    This is a story from a different country. It is probably taking from their social norms. He has been with Hangyum but he has not opened up to him and shared with him. As a writer myself and understanding you, ... @Anonymous

    it could either the social norms of in the story and could be the social norms of Korean. I would like to point out Hajin wanted to hide him and Jaehee holding hands at night on a empty street. People are going to view things differently from their experiences and so on. But sometimes see differently perspectives helps seeing a full picture and into becoming a better writer.

    Mi Amore Anon March 21, 2020 1:17 am
    This is a story from a different country. It is probably taking from their social norms. He has been with Hangyum but he has not opened up to him and shared with him. As a writer myself and understanding you, ... @Anonymous

    I have done some research. Korean society focus on conservatism. Not many of celebrities are openly out in Korean. One of the ones that came out was fired from his jobs and could not get a major acting role afterwards. Look up Hong Seok-cheon, if your interested. It seems this story is reflecting real-life Korean conservatism.

    Kal March 21, 2020 3:03 am
    I have done some research. Korean society focus on conservatism. Not many of celebrities are openly out in Korean. One of the ones that came out was fired from his jobs and could not get a major acting role aft... Mi Amore Anon

    Ohhhh thanks for the research you did. I didn't know that wow.