Ryan is a victim if rape (presumably before filming gay porns) and he filmed a "rape porn" based of a rapist named Christopher where McQueen played the role of the rapist and ryan played the role of the victim. What Ryan is saying is that most sexual abused people will film gay porn as a way of taking control (psychologically proven to be right) but even so he believes McQueen took advantage of him and used him (and used his trauma) to make money.
Ahhh, I see. Thanks for this mate.
(づ￣ ³￣)づ
u're welcome buddy ;)
Ok, I get everyone here who is angry at people blaming McQueen instead of Ed.
I do understand the blame on McQueen, though. I think Ed blames McQueen for making an art film, which potentially put all them porn actors at risk. The film won an award because it was so good, but McQueen rejected the award because he didn't want people to find out that a porn actor made it. That's how McQueen is also feeling insecure about it, hence paying Ed 50000 usd for it. Now you can't hide things from people, so they found out about this scandal, and it was a big controversy which cost Ed and other actors their jobs and anonymity, which was still a bit private before shit hit the fan, especially since only porn customers know what they look like. Now everybody is interested, and it has a bad impact on our couple.
The thing I don't understand is about Ryan's part - why Ed is saying McQueen used him. I don't remember reading about this. Anybody care to explain that part?
PS, Ed knows he did wrong by blaming McQueen, hence all the inner thoughts repeatedly shown in chap 50, but he can't help feeling cornered and wanting to blame someone after he gets misfortune after misfortune.