it's not about having a right to shield yourself or not, it comes anyway whatever you like it or not. they both, Wen and Uncle the same in that way. they run away cause they don't want to get hurt. and it's okay, it is part of being a human.
It’s not okay when it hurts someone though.
humans hurt others all the time, it is part of life. but you learn from your mistakes and get better. you can't be born perfect! that not how it's work. you will get hurt and hurt others at some point, what important is to learn from it and be a better person then what you are.
The biggest difference between Huan Wen and uncle is that the first prefers to hide his feeling in order to protect his friendship with pink haired guy, because of his stuttering Huan Wen has become someone he admires, and a big support, and in order to not make things akward if his feeling are not returned, he let his selfishness to shut down; on the other hand uncle is only using red head guy because he feels lonely, and keeps being half-assed about the relationshing just because the people he dated before weren't serious about him. There's a difference about hurting someone's feelings by accident, and don't giving an F if you hurt someone in the proces of "lerning about life".
true but Wen also shut himself down from everyone else by doing so, from friendship for example in this chapter. it can hurt others too, shutting yourself down and not letting anyone to really get in and be close to you is also hurting others. it is not less painful then what uncle is doing. in a way Wen also going with friendship knowing it is kind of a lie cause he feels romantic feelings for him but never tells him.
so in the end, it is still kind of harmful to be like this, even if Wen wanted to "protect" him. maybe he is doing the opposite, don't you think?
that's why it was soo interesting to me those two talk with each other, cause they both running from the same thing, despite they so different from each other.
I will argue uncle is not using him, yeas he is going with the flow of things, but remember the redhead was the one who wanted it, he was the one who run after him despite knowing it may not go anywhere. and I do believe uncle does care about him, but not willing to admit it, so he won't get hurt. which is pretty logical from his experiences. if he had a good experience, he won't have the need to run from the first place, right? XD
fear of been hurt is much bigger than those two, but I hope they learn to open up and face the fear and maybe able to get over it. it is hard, but I hope they manage it.
I understand your point of view, but I am more sympathetic with Huan Wen feelings, I meant after you conffes your feelings to someone and that person doesn't feel the same way, it's hard to keep a friendship that way, You may ask why? because even if you wish for that person's happiness it is difficult to hear about their love for someone else without feeling awkward, and in pain because deep inside you, you know that you may never will get a chance to be seen in a different light and you have to wait until your feelings fade away before keeping that friend close again; the thing involving uncle is that he gave red head guy expectations, that in some point he might start to feel something about him, that is what makes it look bad, because even if he is only pretending not to care, maybe when red head guy finds out about what he was thinking, it'll be too late to be mend and his feelings would be already crushed; even if red head was a player before, he regreted and asked for forgiveness, and even if "what is done, is done" takes place here, at least he regreted and said that what he did in the past is something he will never do again.
I totally get what you saying, yeas it can ruin the friendship. but my claim still stands, it is still lying in away. and real friendship can't base on lies, so even if he does confess his feelings and it won't work out, the real friendship will survive this. that what it means a real friendship. this is why Wen and Uncle are both wrong.
Uncle did make it clear to him that trying to be with him my not work as he wants, he was very honest about it and treat him like the brat he is. and redhead didn't change that much, he still super clingy and thinks that all work out by his way despite it does not always work this way.
uncle seemed tired to fight him and think "Oh well, whatever. I don't like him anyway" at least he kept telling himself until the time he will realize it and regret it. though he himself ignores he does like him, running from hurt is wrong.
so has expectations go I don't worry about it. I bet the uncle doesn't want any kind of expectations on him, and I get why he does not want it. but I worry more about the uncle then redhead, maybe it seemed that he is strong but he really is not. at least to me XD
I like both of them and sympathetic to both of them. each has their own problem and it's not easy for any of them.
I stood and clapped for Huan Wen words to uncle, I meant that just because you were hurt by someone else' half-assed feelings in the past, it doesn't give you any rights to cause pain to someone other, you are just taking your anger out on someone else that doesn't have anything to do with your past and the shitty people who hurt you; take responsability of your actions, and if you can't stand being in a relationship, stay alone for the sake of everyone and yourself. Just saying (╬￣皿￣)凸