Responses
Sometimes I wonder if this story and criminal interview are going to cross at some point.
beta
Sometimes I wonder if this story and criminal interview are going to cross at some point.
Chapter 15. I'm done.
So much potential. The concept of dying again and again is awesome, but here, I don't think he should be immortal... this fact didn't even change like 99% of the story so far. Maybe the concept will be more relevant farther into the plot but this is far enough for me.
So far it's possible to take the immortal bit out, make a few very minor changes and get a basic rich guy poor guy story. The immortal thing is just to make the story intresting but instead, it's trying to make the story into something that it is'nt.
Also the romance is pretty lucklaster. It tries to use the immortal part to be interesting, uniqe, ETC but the immortal bit is unstable so everything is crambeling down. The characters have a strong potential to be coplex (mainly Noah) but the story just... does'nt let them.
The story just had more ways to go around everything
:<