I agree with this interpretation and was thinking the same, I can't wait for s2 to see how things progress
Great analysis. ヾ(☆▽☆)Yes, BNK admits his repressed homosexuality and he did enjoy to have sex with Seungho. Yet, the fact that he asked Seungho to hold him outlines that BNK is longing for warmth and acceptance. He wants to be embraced in reality. I find it interesting that Seungho keeps putting BNK on his lap while kissing, BNK is very close to him. There is such an intimacy that you don't feel, when he has sex with the sex partners.
Yeah its not just sadness because of what Inhun, is also him admitting that he actually enjoys it and that makes him feel like Inhun’s words were true...... i dont think this is just something physical anymore but Seungho its not good with expressing his feelings in other ways even though he is trying :)
I wanted to know what others are thinking about Nakyum monologue about all the things being his decision. This is my interpretation of the chapter:
Nakyum is breaking down because the teacher's words woke him up to the things he didn't admit it until now. When the teacher threw the words in his face: :" Don't try to claim it was all for my sake" , the wall came crushing down because NK woke like he did in one of those dreams where Seungho was his alter ego telling him things he wouldn't admit to himself. Up until that slap and then Seungho confronting him if he was doing that for Inhun, Nakyum breaks down and go on a list of things he says it's because he wanted.
Nakyum held on to his belief that all he did was for Inhun and he would never have wanted to do on his own: paint the male erotica... let himself enjoy sex with men (and with Seungho of all of people).
Nakyum's dreams and trance episodes (like the first painting he did and then torn apart. The erotic 'rough' sex dream he had with Seungho and then Seungho coming out of the painting to kiss him and saying that he is a liar, that he likes to paint all that )... all these are the background of this breakdown.
Look at what Nakyum is confessing to Seungho:
"I said I would paint for you ... It was my decision... I said that I would do what you told me to ... All of it ...it's because ... sniffle .. It's because I wanted to... that's the reason ... it wasn't for my teacher ... that night I spent with you, my lord, that too. My Lord, you scare me so much, my heart starts pounding. Everything my teacher said about me is the truth. It's because I'm a ... that's all".
Now, the sad part of this is that Nakyum took both things that Inhun said, and because one of them has some truth to it (deep down he did things he had a desired for, he likes to paint and he enjoys the sex ) he also thinks that the other thing is true.... he wanted all that because he is dirty and a prostitute.
The sex is both sad and liberating. Liberating because Nakyum broke his repression. He knows now he likes to paint erotic pictures and he will not second guess anymore his own dick if it gets hard for Seungho ... sad because Nakyum seems to be convinced that he only likes all this because he is a worthless whore -- thanks Inhun.