Does anyone have a pessimistic mindset like me and think that if yuki hadn’t died mafuyu...

I think it’s a realistic mindset and I completely agree. honestly I would fall under the pressure

i feel that mafuyu and yuki just were so diff from each other and leading into a kinda toxic relationship, even if yuki didnt commit suicide maybe he would have continued to be an alchoholic and people change since childhood, Ue is the one who opened his world to music and he could have fallen in love with him

Yuki wasn’t an alcoholic. They tell us that even though Yuki wasn’t the type to drink he still drank the day he killed himself.

yeah but things were heading south for a long time, even when i read the chpaters of the past mafuyu seems so different, idk i think they were both hurting bc they both were just different even if their love was great at some point things change. Even if he wasn't an alcholic he could have continued to do things that would be detrimental to himself and hurt mafuyu indirectly which leaves space for someone to come into their life and change it in a turning point if that makes sense

Makes sense. Kinda twisted but gives me hope...

That’s not you being pessimistic. It’s a very realistic way of thinking and I agree with you. If Yuki were alive he and Mafuyu would have been together most likely. Like Hiragi said Mafuyu and Yuki were like two pieces of the same one heart. It’s hard for that kind of relationship to be broken even over time but at the same time we can’t be sure about their future together. Life is full of uncertainties as this manga itself teaches us. We can only predict what their outcome would have been if Yuki was still alive. We can’t be certain if they still would’ve been together or not. The thing to note here is the the fact that he’s not and that’s something that won’t ever change. If Yuki were alive a lot things would have been different but since he’s not it’s useless thinking about what ifs because the outcome won’t change. Currently Mafuyu is in love with Uenoyama and Uenoyama loves Mafuyu too. Their relationship has just started so it’ll take time for their relationship to deepen. Bonds take time to develop. People should understand this. At the same time I feel like people should stop saying things like Mafuyu still loves Yuki so he’s not loyal to Uenoyama. People saying things like this clearly haven’t lost a loved one. If they had then they would’ve known it’s not possible to stop loving someone you loved when they were alive just because they’re dead now. Just because they are dead doesn’t mean you stop loving them but this also doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else, someone new. You need to move on with your life. The deceased also want you to be happy. You move one and find someone new to love whole heartedly but that doesn’t mean you forget the loved one you lost. You’ll still love them the same because the time they spent with you and the love they gave you would always remain the same. They’ll always be your beloved and you’ll always cherish them and their memories with you and everyone else. This is okay people. You can love two people at once especially in this case if not any other. If you still don’t understand this then ask someone who’s lost they’re loved ones but moved on with time. They’ll explain this beautifully and painfully.

I think you explained this perfectly and honestly it’s the hard truth that is not very easy to accept. Thanks though I felt like I needed to hear this even though it doesn’t automatically ease my anxieties. It is what it is and no one can expect what will happen in the future