You’re in a string of relationships that start off nice and turn abusive. A nice guy you know wants to go out with you immediately after you break up with your bf and were beaten up for it.
The way I see it, Chanwoo’s rejection was sound and MD is being an absolute prat for taking it how he did. Even if it was consensual, MD went too far during their play and took out those feelings on Chanwoo.
If he’s going to act that way, is MD really better than Chanwoos other ex-boyfriends?
Chanwoo and MD in their Dom/Sub relationship they both get the one thing they crave which is control.
That is what I mean by what Chanwoo is gaining, he is in a relationship that although it is "weird" or "unusual" by typical relationship standards is still a relationship in which he has control, it has a predetermined boundary that other relationships don't have. Chanwoo doesn't realize yet that THAT is the reason why he doesn't why he doesn't want to change it, it's the constant comfort for him. Dating would mean a change an uncertainty, it would mean digging deeper into your reason WHY and Chanwoo doesn't do that. He's all about what's fun what feels good, he brushes off EVERYTHING! Even being treated poorly.
M.D knew he stepped over the line which is why he threw in the towel. It's a fine line in BDSM between play and abuse, and Yes M.D is the better choice, if you have to ask then you must not understand what it's like to make a mistake?
Ah, your comment makes a ton more sense to me now. Thanks for breaking it down.
—I’m not sure I’d describe what Chanwoo wants from their play as control necessarily. That’s definitely what MD gets out of it. But I think it would be better to say Chanwoo gets something reliable, something he can trust out of it. Which seems to be missing from the other relationships in his life.
That’s why I’m not very forgiving of MD. MD didn’t just make a mistake, he broke trust. Trust is a two way street in a dom/sub relationship. A sub trusts that a dom will stop the session if the safeword is said, and the dom trusts that the sub will say the safe word if they go past their limit.
MD knew that Chanwoo wouldn’t use the safe word that night. Instead of just stopping the play, he forced a situation where Chanwoo HAD to say the safe word or be in danger. Then when Chanwoo didn’t, he acts like Chanwoo is the one that broke the trust of their play first.
MD is a controlling sadist. He vents that well into their bdsm sessions. But the fact that Chanwoo was making personal decisions he couldn’t understand/control was the reason he lashed out at Chanwoo during their session. I don’t think it’s very hard to imagine that, if Chanwoo and MD had gotten together, MDs desire for control would’ve become the dynamic of their relationship, not just their bdsm play. Then that could have devolved into another abusive relationship for Chanwoo.
No matter how I look at it, Chanwoo was right to reject MD at that point. Chanwoo might not understand exactly what he gets out of their bdsm sessions, but MD doesn’t understand that one major reason they are a compatible dom/sub pair is because of the no strings attached agreement.
I think we ALL wanted to know what the safe word was, but WOW! M.D? Wow!
Also is Chanwoo really that oblivious? Or is it heartless? Maybe Careless? With himself , I know Chanwoo doesn't realize what he is gaining in his relationship with M.D. But I don't think M.D is handling this well he might be scared of himself losing complete control.