God.

Honestly like.... the realism of two traumatized teenage boys who processed childhood sexual assult differently was like. Comforting? Like Takano became emotionally vulnerable and hated women, while Aoi became emotionally closed off and developed an obsession with "feeling good like a woman." The parallels of their trauma outcomes is so real. Like.... idk. No one experiences trauma the same way and i feel like this manga highlighted that very well

I do honestly believe that Aoi loves Takano, but he is so emotionally disconnected from others that he doesn't know how to process those feelings. He thinks his desire to be with Takano is lust, because, well, he doesn't see love as anything but inherently sexual. He understands that Takano is special to him, but doesnt quite believe that love exists at all, due to his experience as a child. He doesnt see Takano as a "human dildo," he just is slow at showing and experiencing emotional vulnerability. Anyway gay rights, the title sucks and doesnt give the actual story justice