I will never get how some parents can pick other things over their child's happiness like ...

Because they know it could be a temporary contentment and we may have to suffer in the future, trust me they have seen a lot more of this world than we have. I know that they can't always be correct but they do have experience backing them up. So it's better to actually listen to them first then decide.

I get that and I do agree that you should take their advice but yah know sometimes their reasoning just doesn't sit right (what would others say?, It's just a phase, don't do that you won't earn money from that blah blah) shouldn't they listen to us too before shutting the idea down

But ayeee I'm not a parent so maybe my mindset is just too different lololol (good point tho!)

It is hard to stand quietly by while you watch your child make a choice you know is 99% likely to fail. We know because we have watched it happen to people in our lives. But they think they will be that 1% exception. Just like all the others who made that same choice and suffered for it.

Millions of people run off to be movie stars, but less then 1% will ever do more than barely make ends meet. It is a constant struggle, always on the verge of collapse. If they love what they do and that makes them happy, great. But most are miserable and fall into drug and alcohol abuse, beg for money, destroy relationships, and deeply regret the choices they made.

Also, try to remember, your parents are human too and they can't always present their feelings in a way that is easy to hear. Communication is a struggle for everyone. Even when they are saying something you hate, their motives are still just wanting you to have a good life.

We want to help, but sometimes we just don't know the best way.

Sorry to lecture. As a mom with a teenager, I guess I am very close to the subject.

I love them and want them to be happy and always remember that I am on their side. Especially when we disagree.

I see maybe I was only looking at our side, and don't worry I like hearing other people's opinions on things since I know that everyone has different perspectives.

I was leaning more on the career problem but what about the gender identity one? Why can't some parents just accept their child? Can I hear your opinion on that as a parent.(of course you don't have too if you don't wanna)

We want to talk and express our feelings too but sometimes they just say things that really hurts, even though they think that it's just an innocent sentence

But Both parties needs a lot to work on, specially on communication and understanding

And I can see that your a really good mom, your children must be pretty luckly!

But the same could very easily be said about heterosexual relationships. And yet you rarely ever see these anti-gay parents screaming “you’ll never be happy with an opposite gender partner!”

Unfortunately, no relationship is ever guaranteed.

Yes, it is better to determine on a one on one bases, what advice to listen to, after hear them out, but the parents themselves should not be determining what does and does not make their child happy in a relationship.

NOW, that being said, there will always be exceptions. For one, if my son is being abused by his partner, then YES, as a parent, you better damn well believe I will interfere (as I am sure you would, too). If he is being cheated on, I will damn well make myself available, should he need someone to talk to and help determining whether to stay and try to work things out or leave. On the same basis, should I ever find out my son is the abuser in a relationship, I will damn well protect his partner (though my son is very anti-abuse himself, so I doubt he would). If my son is the cheater, I will slap him upside the head and tell him to get himself straightened out and decide whether he truly even wants to be in the relationship.

But should he ever come to me to tell me his partner is another man, or that he has entered into an open or polyamorous relationship, and his partner(s) and he are happy, then I will smile and wish them well, letting him know that if he ever needs anything, I will do my best to be there.

All that being said, you sound like you are at least willing to hear your kids out as well, and not try to shoehorn them into fitting within your ideal parameters, unlike some parents in these stories, who are quick to cut their children from their lives. So yes, as another pointed out, you sound like a great mom and your kids are lucky.

The gender issue is very difficult. My position is caution and clarification.

First and foremost, I love my child. So, no matter what they ultimately do, I will love them. Even if that means visiting them in jail or checking on them in their crack den.

Back to gender.....

I am Christian and my best friend is a lesbian. Next year I have every intention of being at her wedding.

If my child is Truly gay, I will accept it.

BUT I do feel we live in a world that encourages sexual experimentation and promiscuity. When I believe in monogamy and treasuring your body. It isn't good for self-esteem to have lots of partners. Searching for physical satisfaction, when what they need is emotional support.

Ultimately, I want them to become their own person. To know themselves and love themselves. Then when they seek a partner, I can be sure they are able to stand alone and not fall into a dependent abusive situation.

We are all reading this story, so we clearly enjoy BL.

But I won't lie. I would prefer if my child were heterosexual, so that I don't have to deal with the issue in my personal life. I'm a coward and it would just be easier. Sorry.

I know it is a popular trope for parents to reject their children because of sexual orientation. Also, I am not saying it doesn't happen. BUT.... I have not met anyone in my life who has done such a thing. My mother-in-law's beliefs are extremely strict, but she has gay family members and they are always welcome. She definitely disagrees with their choice, but still includes them in her life.

We have different opinions and make different choices, but we can still love and care for each other.

I guess what I am saying is we should just treat each person based on their own actions. Unless someone does something that will cause you harm, you have no reason to treat them badly. There is usually something wonderful in everyone, if you take time to see it.

Please remember to love and care for yourself.

I am confident in saying most parents will always love their child and want the best for them. Arguing does not equal hating. It usually means they love you even more.

I hope that answered your question.... It is a very complicated issue and I don't think there is an easy answer.