i meant to upvote HHHHH
Something similar happened to me, so "We knew each other better that we knew ourselves. Naturally, we knew the best way to hurt each other. " OH YES!!!... and it tears you apart, cuz they make you hate them for it... Almost a double betrayal...and one absolute brainfuck
Ahhh the worst is that because you understand the situation, it kinda makes you hate them but in reality you hate yourself more for hurting them. :(
that and just that they make you feel this way, like some fucked-up, unreasonable guilt. I have/had just cause for feeling that way, but still feel like shit. So it's this whole confusing mess of emotions in your head, plus I'm an "over thinker"...
"resentful" was the word I was looking for
And i'm crying. It's always sad to have someone who has influenced you your whole life suddenly gone. I probably wont be able to understand how painful it is to have your SO pass away. It'll never come close to that, but i was in a situation where my childhood friend and i also got together. We knew each other better that we knew ourselves. Naturally, we knew the best way to hurt each other. When our relationship came to a stop, it feels as if breathing itself is painful. Like i was dying but every heartbeat was reminding me that im living as an empty shell. Suddenly having to continue life without that person just hurt so much but you had to get over it and move on because the world isnt stopping.
real talk though, his sister is the mvp here for telling uke that someone else loves him the same way his lover did before.