I love this

My parents first came here from Mexico so I'm the gen after them and frankly, I consider myself mexican bc I was raised by two mexican parents but I grew up with 'freer' customs since the US is a different environment so I'm smack in the middle. I'm not someone that exactly has "el nopal en la frente" <which is someone who is clearly mexican but is very much influinced by American culture>, but I'm used to speaking english more than spanish and sometimes I feel that nagging guilt in the back of my mind like "You should be better at this" ╥﹏╥ I'm always caught in between bc english is still easier for me to speak my mind with but I don't consider myself all that American either. I'm not the type to go out of my way to cheer for a country either so ╮(￣▽￣)╭ I'm just a person living on planet Earth.

Oh man I totally understand. Im a bit more sperated from my arab identity though even tho I was raised with strict arab customs bec unlike my parent, I'm both agnostic and gay(bi), 2 things that just are not tolerated with arabs, as well as just in general holding more progressive values (like being pro-choice). So I've always felt comfortable describing myself as arab-canadian (1st gen but I've lived here for most of my life). Other arabs would consider me "white-washed" and especially give me shit for not being fluent in arabic.

Which is annoying bec I never really made an effort to speak arabic just bec my parents pushed it so much for religious reasons. I'm making more of an effort now bec being bilingual is so useful but I guess I'll forever feel that division -shrugs-

Btw Spanish is such a beautiful language, I really wish I had enough free time to pick up learning it!

Oh I feel you pn the agnostic part lol. My mom's side is catholic and my dad's side is christian, but me and my sister grew up with my mom's side primarily so we went through the first comunion and confirmation and a youth trip. I inew that as along as I got past those things no one would bother with whether I'm actually religious so it's been fine. My family is actually fairly open minded compared to others that would be more conservative. But odn't get me started on how at some point some relatives can nag you about when you might get a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever and I've yet to date anyone <and I'm kinda graysexual/demisexual> and my uncle had the nerve to be like "then be a nun!" As if it's worth being a nun just because I don't seem so interested in relationships. Though once, when I was younger, an older cousin (by a couple yrs) was dead ass like "Are you a lesbian?!" LMAO In reality I don't mind if I end up with a girl but in general sex isn't something I consider an immediate staple to consider in a relationship and I at least knew I was much more likely to like a guy so I basically had to tell them no and that I'm straight Lol. I was like （￣へ￣）what is this bullshit, this girl asking me that when she also hasn't dated anyone yet (she didnt get a boyfriend until she entered college. I'm now in college). My uncle separated from his wife and he still ain't afraid of teasing someone bc they aren't dating someone LOL, that's how traditional some of my relatives are. But I even talked to my grandpa once about a subject like gay people and that thing where they don't come out, get married to the opposite sex, etc. and I tried my best to explain why that would happen and how not everyone does that and is less likely to happen as things change He recognizes that in the end the gays have existed since the beginning (or who knows when), like they are what they are, though he is traditional himself. Not sure exactly how he would react if one of us cousins came home with someone of the same gender, but I think he'd be able to cope in the end. Though he's not doing so good these days so he may not make it to such a ppssibility and like 90% of the cousins are straight. Just my sister is bi as far as I know and can tell, and she leans toward men romantically. I think I got lucky with my mom because she mainly expects us to grow up as people and get a decent job. Probably because she knows whatever will happen will happen.