uwu

Man. I understand somehow were Roxant is coming from. Why he is being like this. He has this secret, that is like everything for him, but he feels guilty towards Leah about it. When you have genuine feelings for someone, but something you hide from them, sincere people like Roxant, they cannot do it. They cannot allow themselves to be greedy and do what they truly want to do, because they know/think they do not deserve it. He is scared that she will reject him, if he tells her it was him (the girl), and that would hurt him immensely. Because for him that time was like his lifeline. His everything, that kept him cling to life and do his best to thrive. He is a selfless, greedless person right now, because of how unconditionally he loves her. So he means every word. He does not think he deserves her life to be bound to him. A dishonest person like him. An ugly person (in his eyes). She is the love of his life, so he wants the best of the best for her. It does not mean this is healthy, but he is still good. As he does not burden her with his gratidude, as well as that he is not obsessive or anything. He is just there for her, if she wants and needs him. Seriously. He is so beautiful. But from Leahs perspective, I understand her as well. She is missing puzzle pieces to unravel the true meaning behind everything, not just the obvious. She is also nice, for not just being petty and interpreting it to weird, but taking it as he says and trying to be objective about it. But she has feelings for him, so it still hurts, that he is so "passive". To a person in her position, it must hurt. Because it feels like he is there physically, but not emotionally. Like whatever she does, she will never reach him. He is somewhere far away and seems like he does not plan on ever coming closer to her. That feels like rejection in some way as well. She wants him, but he shows not sign of truly wanting her and that must hurt. And because she intuitively knows she is missing some pieces of the puzzle, she is getting angry about it. Something telling her "if i just knew this, then i would know what to do and how to reach im, but I don't and he won't ever talk. so i feel helpless" kind of like this. man i analysed so much, it is jsut because i love this so goddamn much and it all makes sense ah fuck...my heart....