nami, i dont know you personally or anything but fr you really do see the beauty of this. x
I am glad you touched on Na-Kyum's reaction because that really triggered a violent response from Seungho as well.
Here he is NOT dealing with his burgeoning feelings only to have the person that he CANNOT be in love with confirm to him that the very thought of Seungho having those feelings he DOES NOT have for him are refused and deemed unbelievable outright.
I think logically Seungho understands why Na-Kyum rejects him but his logic is overpowered by his want and he really wants Na-Kyum to want him back, so he has a visceral reaction to Na-Kyum's rejection.
He just beat Nim to a pulp for mocking him and suggesting he has feelings for Na-Kyum, yet the fact that Na-Kyum can't believe that is possible offends him much, much more.
Totally agree with what you said, and also to @DoopDoop's point, that Nakyum didn't even resist the other guys' touch must also be infuriating for SH
i think that was bc he was drunk
That might be, or he might even be high, but what sh sees is that nk is enjoying it with other guys too and thus making him replaceable. It looks as if he's angry not so much at the guys for touching nk as at nakyum for making such a face.
I can almost see that angry sex in the next chapter as sh is trying to assert his dominance (〜￣△￣)〜 I'm afraid we're still far far away from a lovey dovey situation (if any), but that's what makes it so much better
Thank you for sayin that!
Appreciate it (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Yes!! Thank you for adding this, I agree with you on that. I think it's also possible that the face Nakyum made could've been a distorted version, something Seungho saw in his drunken, infuriated, emotional state... Though you're right, NK was exposed to opium and given alcohol, and I think he was dizzy and slightly out of it because he was overwhelmed with emotions, so it could be that he completely lost himself in the moment and stopped caring
I love how you emphasised that SH believes he can't be in love with NK. Awful times... He seems to have the freedom of embracing whoever he wants, yet that freedom does not apply to love and affection.
And that last thing is interesting to me, that SH is still quick to mess up anyone he's mad at, yet he's not touching NK anymore. He'd rather torment him mentally than hit him
I don't think he is sets out to torment NK or if he does, he clearly is thrown off by how badly he feels when he sees Na-Kyum's face/reaction (he is always taken aback like he is experiencing something new every time). I think he just lashes out, either searching for a goal: be it satisfaction or an answer to something that keeps nagging at him. He acts very child-like when he is around NK and what NK makes him feel. It is almost like he gets hurt and goes like: "well, yeah, I'll show you." Look at how he escalated to bringing NK to the orgy, only because Na-Kyum appears to be rejecting the feelings Seungho himself has yet to accept having. Talk about a slap in the face.
A few chapters back when he decided to extract the truth out of NK (about why he stayed with him and why he suddenly "liked" it) by screwing him to death, the bastard actually sounded melancholic when NK stopped him and cried. He said something to the effect that he was always only capable of making NK cry. He even questioned what he had been trying to do...but not before going bat$#!& crazy at NK to get him to answer why he stayed. He doesn't think it through. He is all fury and action but he can't follow through with fury once Na-Kyum has been harmed. That said I wish his braking system worked faster...
I agree with you that Seungho may have seen some distorted version of what was actually happening. But that in itself is not as important as what it showed: even though NK seems to be into it (either through delusions or because NK was under a couple of influences) Seungho reacted by attacking the other guy - not Na-Kyum.
I did like that while Seungho is struggling with coming to terms with feelings he is very quick to deny, when NK was like: "God, tell me that isn't true," Seungho was like: "Byatch! That hurt!" His face says it all. Which is it, Seungho? If you can't accept your own feelings while should NK believe, or want you to have them?
Well, maybe if that happens NK would finally blurt out what Inhun said to him. May be he will call him a whore and that would push NK to let it out.
We are at the stage where many abrupt turns need to happen in the story for it to move forward. Characters need to be shocked out of their resistance, or humbled by possible loses.
This didn't start out as a love story and it might not end as one.
But Seungho lashing out is his natural state so I wouldn't be surprised at all if he does this. Just like I felt that when he was comforted with his feelings by Nim's mockery he wouldn't lash out at NK. Which he did by bringing him to the orgy.
But SH already knew what Inhun said to NK from his servant. I'm more curious about what NK feels towards SH, which either he hasn't figured out yet, or like what SH is doing right now, he's strongly denying.
A few chapters back, right before NK told SH why he had stayed, his mind wandered off to that time when Inhun hugged him while he was trying to run away, just after he felt the warmth of SH's embrace. Why? It could well be because he still longs for Inhun, but I'd like to think it's because he doesn't want to feel that way again. At that time, NK was feeling hopeless and wanted to run from everything, but the only lifeline he has left had abandoned him and even had the audacity to ask him to spy for him. I feel that this was also kind of the turning point of when NK's affection towards Inhun started to diminish.
It's also why I think he made that speech about "two naked bodies not having to share what's on their minds". Because what if he share what's on his mind, and he gets abandoned again? This time, he really won't have anywhere to go.
We thought it was NK's thoughts, and then SH's thoughts because of chapter 53, but I checked the raw and I'm convinced NK was saying that to SH, just not on that panel. That's why it was shaped like a thought bubble. He was using formal speech because he's talking to SH, not thinking to himself. SH's silent treatment actually makes more sense then. He was completely shut out. And so he retaliates by shutting him out, too. Tbh, I think all it takes is for one of them to just be honest, and the other one will follow suit.
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Did we really think SH would suddenly turn into a rainbow puking unicorn and ride with NK towards the sunset, all lowey-dowey, at the first mention of his feelings? This isn't a silly romance, it's a heavy drama. I mean, personally, it would be really nice to have him approach NK calmly and show some sweetness, perhaps attend do NK's wounds, have a conversation or whatever. But we're too early in the story for that.
Seungho is super extra. And super repressed. To me they both represent two different areas in which they are victims - Nakyum being repressed physically and sexually, and Seungho repressed in the emotions and feelings department.
And the way I see it - they help each other develop these sides, without realising it. But that takes time. Like, how Nakyum instantly assumed that obviously SH liking him MUST be a lie, that it cannot be. Talk about denial!
Will they end up together? I don't know, but I wouldn't mind it :) But I think the role they have in each others lives is that of helping each other free themselves in these areas of sexual and emotional freedom.
SH once again tried to go back to his old self by dragging Nakyum and attempting to have him in the orgy, but at the first sight of NK being kissed, he backed away again. He's torn so much, and he's currently on a crazy emotional roller-coaster. And Nakyum just decided "right, I'm out, peace" and went numb lol
What a mess (≧∀≦)