I guess he's a yandere then
sometimes... just bc you may be blood-related to someone doesnt mean you HAVE care/love them
Geez... thats cold blooded who hurt you? However being blood-related should be a reason to love & care about them. But its not the only reason because they're are some family members that are pure evil & those people should just remain as far as possible & hope one day they will change.
Sounds about right
He/she just stated a fact...
Honestly its better to have peace of mind instead of hatred on your heart which is why I always forgive people for their bad behavior. But I'm not saying you have to be friends (ex. Toxic relationships) keep it moving.
My Motto is, What you don't want, what people do to you, don't do that to anyone else.
Using a translator, my English aren't the best.
But Tbh saying "Geez... thats cold blooded who hurt you?" isn't the nicest thing either.
I agree with you & the cold blooded part was meant to be sarcastic because I've had despicable things done to me in childhood but I really didn't mean to offend
I also meant it as a euphemism as in what that person messaged was also mean
Why? Why does being bloodrelated mean you have to love them? You love people because you love them, not because you're family. You don't love your family because they're family, you love them because of other factors (because you grew up together means you only saw eachother for your whole life, etc.) Hopefully they change, however I work damn hard to be able to love myself inspite of my family. I deserve to. "Maybe they'll change!" "You"re blood-related!". It makes me feel like I have to love them. Yes, I hate people, not just my family. It's not HAtRed iN mY HEarT. It's me realizing I don't need to put up with people who hurt me just by thier presence. I've never been so mad with people saying "You need to forgive!". I forgive people when I accept thier apology! Is it that hard to follow? When did the meaning change. When did it become "Forcefully accept peoples apology even when you don't think they've changed/haven't shown it. Or maybe you just don't want to. The fact that still in 2020 we can't let people have feelings over what people have done to them, and let them feel emotions is sickening. I would really like you to tell all abused children to just Forgive them! "You don't have to be friends with them!" I don't to forgive them to. I don't want them to continue being bad, however, my forgiveness shouldn't change that. Even if they change what they've done to me still stands, and I get to choose, not you, not the attacker, not ANYBODY, except the victim. How abput instead of forcing victims to forgive, we put the spotlight on the abusers. No hate sorry if it came put that way and I worded this as if nothing ever happened to you which I'm not sure of. This topic just melts my brain and makes me feel like shit. I really hope you educate yourself on the other side of the issue. Again, I'm gonna take a second to cool my mind. Obligatory: sorry for any mistakes, I can clarify anything!
That part about abused children was a bit mean,
Thank you! thank was what I was implying but I decided not to go in too much detail but THANK YOU! the fact that you may be blood-related to someone shouldnt mean that you should forgive, care, love, etc. about them. This type of way of thinking and the so-called logic behind this is so stupid. Just because my mom gave birth to me doesn't me I HAVE to love her since I didnt asked to be born... but I do since she does a lot things for me and I realized how much my life means to her. but it doesnt mean I should forgive the other horrible things she's said and done. Nobody should even be forced to forgive others, when someone wants to forgive... let them do it on their own terms. but anyways thanks I.B. you explained what exactly what I'm trying to say(⌒▽⌒)
Thank you! I think it's almsot insulting to say to family you love that you only love them for blood. You love them because they treated you with love, affection, and care. There's so much more to family than just blood~~~~~ It's nice to know someone feels the same way!
Let me start off by saying that my original comment "but thats his sister... sometimes siblings can be assholes but thats his sister" was out of love for my 5 older siblings. We've done unspeakable things to each other throughout life (I'm 25 now) & we forgave each other & still love each other. That being said I do agree with majority of what said when it comes to being blood-related & I did address that but my words were taken out of context. I never said you had to love your abusers whether they are related to you or not. It is also your choice whether you want to forgive someone who wronged you. I prefer not to hold grudges against people & keep my peace. If I choose to stay angry I'm giving that person too much power over me & I'm not going to give them the satisfaction. I am a victim of abuse sexually, physically, mentally etc. & the older generation of my family (my parents, aunt's, uncle, grandparents) believes that if someone related to you does something to you that causes you trauma shouldn't have to pay consequences. I however don't believe in this concept. I do believe that people change but I'm not saying that you have to wait around for them to change & on top of that I'm not saying you have to be friends. Also forgiving someone takes TIME just because they did something today doesn't mean you should forgive them tomorrow. I know they're somethings that I didn't personally address but idk maybe its not necessary at this point. Please do not put words in my mouth that I didn't say if you misread something or anything offended you just let me know so that I can clarify because sometimes I get distracted & write the wrong thing. Also I am educated & I personally know how to view the whole picture. I dont believe in victim blaming but I do believe in healing.
That is what I was trying to say but I didn't word it properly. English isn't my first language either but I know enough to get by but sometimes I get confused when I type. My mother was my first bully & so was her mother. I have a daughter & I refuse to keep that toxic cycle going. My mother provided & took care of me the best way she knew how. But that didn't stop her from making me feel like shit nearly everyday of my life. It took me years to forgive her for the way that she treated me & in between that I also went years without speaking to her. When I needed her most when something traumatic happened to me she abandoned me. After some time had passed if she didn't speak to me first I would have never spoke to her. Although I could shut off my emotions at times it still didn't feel good inside. All I'm saying is forgiving someone takes time but peace of mind is always something to strive for when you're ready. No one is important enough to hate I won't give them that power.
I think you and I have idfferences in hate. You believe it's tiresome, I believe it's deserved. I don't think I was taking thinga out of context though as I was constantly refering back to your posts. "But that's his sister". The sptry didn't say ANYTHING for the sister exceot that she married a man who she didn't love, and treats her brother like shit. Constantly being torn down by people gives you the right to feel any type of way towards their greivances.
You said "10:52" you said its better to let go than leave hatred in your heart. Not saying you have to be firends. This was in the "personal tense" so it could mean that this is just something you believe in. Howwcer, if only you were talking about yourself, you wouldn't have said this in a reply to this comment about this charaxter in this story. Basically, forgive me if I'm wrong, you understand that I would've thought that you were talking about the character, becsuse then why else would you said it unless you were 't applying it to this charavter?
I was thinking of my sibs. Then isn' this different? You said towards the character, "butt ahts his sister, sometimes siblings are assholes but thats his sister. Implying that marrying a man who you didn't love(dont have enough comtext on this) and Im pretty sure being an asshole everyday to him. Does give him the right to be happy about her downfall. I felt a wierd sense of reliefe when something happned to my mother, hoping it would all be over. Smae thing with dude, constant bellittlment, leads some people to not care about thier abusers hurt, and that should be accepted. You said it shouldn't be that way because you're thinking his feelings on that issue are wrong on your OP. Alos, ypu just said it akes time. But he JUST saw it happen in a momet. Leading me to belive that he shouldbpve forgsve her right then. Because why else would you not approve of his actions if you beleived it took time. Also, "
Maybe it's different for everyone but I feel forgiving them gives them the power not me. That after everything, theyll still win. This is why asking poeple to forgivd others actions (even with time, even if they changed) can hurt. Of course, you addresed this saying they didn,t have to, it was just a matter of personal feelings. But then why else would not approve of the character, waht I got was, "I understamd that she did terrible things to him, but because (only the fact) that they are blood related he shouldnt be so happy." No, blood doesn't change anything. If someone wrongs you and you forgive them for being family, youre not forgiving them for being family, but rather because you soent your whole life with them. Not saying yous houldnt forgive them. It's a choice. You shouldnt shame others, however, I think you were shaming MC on how he felt with his abuser. And I felt that is they weren't family you wouldnt have said anything.
Also I forogt this so just sdd it on, you literally said "Family should be a big enough reason to love and csre for someone" and in this case where we are getting told that mc was bullied and youre lreplying to a comment that disagreed eith you saying theu dont have to, you're saying that "Family is a big enough rrason to forgive someone."
Forgiveness/love should be the victims thing. THEY can decide if they want to love/forgive thier family. Itt shouldn't be looked down uppn, which is what you were doing. Or saying that they should. You forgave your mam, that's greta and shouldnt be looked down upon either. Of course, you can think of a certain situation in a certain way and have your ppinion. However, just be empathetic about peoples situatuion and how they forgive=/love. And yes, you were dictating that he shouldve love/forgave her in the first post because,,,,, you were saying that you didn't like his decison not to. In the first post.
Sorry for your traumatic past(not in a mran way that kinda went off sarcastic) hopefully you read that I didnt keep you personal life and things in mind. Not gonna fix anything, just knoe that Im not coming afte ryou for that and if it seemed like a certain way, I didnt mean it.
Sorry if it's ranty, didn't address everything you said, all the same disclosures from my last statement. Didnt reread this too
Yes I do realize we both view the word hate differently & just so you know i can only speak for me & I can never speak for anyone else because we all go through different things & we are not the same person. Just so you know I respect your opinion & I hope you respect mine because at the end of the day their just opinions not facts. Its also why I dont always take things personally.
(Let me say you had the right idea splitting these paragraphs up because I ramble/ rant too which is why I've never turned in an essay thats less than 10 pages unless I had a professor that was really anal about the number of pages... off topic). Also I like to whip out my handy dandy notebook when it comes to long responses so properly analyze situations.
Sometimes when I'm reading i like to put myself in the characters (I probably shouldn't but I do) & I was low key referring to the character but I was mainly focused on me when I left that comment. People can say whatever they want in a comment section & it doesn't necessarily have to pertain to the story. Dont take stuff too seriously they're far more things to worry about in this world .
If you don't have enough context to support a claim its probably better not to assume things since that normally where the confusion begins. All we have is the characters point of view & at this point he is bias because there is a conflict of interest. I would need to see all the main characters point of views to draw a conclusion
well... that doesn't mean u should wish for that person to disappear or die. He's kinda twisted in mind seeing sister lying on ground pretty hurt and having a smile on his face. And while she's on coma, thinking of manipulating her fiancé? lol Tho... can't judge him further unless we see more into his, sister's and fiancé's stories
I just think its a matter of seeing more of the story. Maybe theres something missing. Kinda like Mc and Ryuh Han from Companionship.
Thats why i said sometimes :/
But thats his sister.... sometimes siblings can be assholes but thats his sister