A huge part of real BDSM (like professional BDSM done in real life) is communication between the two (or more) parties. That's EXTREMELY important in a contractual (or full/part-time) relationship between the parties involved. Trust and communication are actually key.
Contrary to popular belief, the submissive parties are actually in control. Such as what gets to happen and how much their dominants get to do to them. Submissive parties relinquish control of their body after decisions have been made, but they should still have the ability to say or motion for their safe word if they aren't completely comfortable with the play/scene they are about to do, especially if it restricts movements and sounds. The dominant should also be checking frequently to see if their submissive(s) is doing all right or if they need any adjustments on their bindings, toys, etc. Because it can be quite easy to get seriously injured from even just a binding being too tight on a body part.
It's supposed to be an equal exchange. The submissive trusts and gives their body over to their dominant to care for while the dominant makes sure their sub is doing well while also taking care of their needs at the same time. This is true with either a male or female dominant. It's just basic knowledge.
But porn tends to make it seem like all female dominants are abusive, foul-mouthed, and cruel to their subs, which isn't true and it isn't really factual to what male submissives want or desire from their mistresses. And there are some truly wonderful kinds of mistresses that exist out there that are not being featured in books, manga/manhua, webtoons, etc. Although it is true that there are many masochistic submissives that love sadistic, cruel dominants, I don't believe those are the majority.
Sorry for the rant. I actually have a lot of knowledge about this as a switch (meaning I am both a dominant and a submissive). I've been in the BDSM world for many years, so there are just some things that I see on here and elsewhere that really make me wince. A lot of what I see are fantasies and not factual, more so in how actual BDSM relationships work.
true tho, like most femdoms are shown as really sadistic while their subs are totally okay with how they're being treated which hurts my heart lmao that's also a lot of information i wasn't expecting a detailed reply still thanks for the explanation! I'm also a switch myself so i know a bit but I'm not actually into BDSM, personally i just like femdom but i haven't found a good one so far so I'm just lurking around lmao ╮(￣▽￣)╭
You're welcome. And I completely understand. (￣∇￣")
I totally agree.
Thanks a lot for sharing! Is there any good read that portray such practices in a more realistic way?
Would love to get any recommendation.
Thanks a lot for sharing! Is there any good read that portray such practices in a more realistic way?
Would love to get any recommendation.
thank you for the valuable explanation CuddleQuill-sama!!! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Personally I'd say the sub story in BJ Alex is a good example. Since MD is known as respectful Dom. The story is a BL though, just saying since I don't know if you'd like that. ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Thanks a lot but I have already read it and very much enjoyed the relationship between MD and Chanwoo <3
Oh in that case I'm glad! Though I really want to read more about that hot and healthy relationship. A whole webtoon about those two would be a dream come true! ლ(´ڡ`ლ) ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ
Ikr? I also would reaaaaally love to read more about those two! And btw I'm still waiting for MD to tale off that shirt... lol
If you have any other good recommendation just let me know~
Same here! If you know any pls tell me!
If it's BL then maybe 'Make me bark'? Though it's been a while since I read it so I'm not sure about the consent and such...
Oh I have read that one too~ from the same author I have just started "No better than strangers".
Anything you are interested into? Like from a genre/story type pov?
I'm actually open to everything as long as it's consensual!
Some that comes to my mind are:
- Starting With a Lie (shounen ai)
- Love Nest (yaoi)
- Jackass! - Sawatte Ii tte Dare ga Itta yo? (yaoi)
- Our Relationship Is... (romance)
- Summer Breeze (romance/josei)
- Futari Ashitamo Sorenarini (romance/slice of life - ongoing)
I'll definitely check them all out! tysm!! ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ
when i first read this, it was just in the first couple which is femdom so i just thought that it was a short story smthng like that and was ok with how it went. But with how it's going now, I'm kinda confused on what to feel lmao i mean, i know that it's SM and all that stuff but like, is it so hard to communicate? Yes I'm so bothered by the fact that the doms here are all just like literally taking lead without even asking for the sub's opinion. Though in a way it does make sense for them to act that way, i just feel like there should be verbal consent or smthng like that not just the mindset that 'oh he/she' s a sub so they probably would love even if i do this to them'... Thanks for the translations tho really appreciate it! I just hope there's character development at some point ya'kno ╮(￣▽￣)╭