Responses
You really put it all into words so well. Hit all the marks. I'm just going along with this story for amusement, I agree with the points you made. I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees how Geonwoo is a bit obsessive and creepy. The, I'm not mad :), fist and jaw clenching with odd undertones? What's up with that. And the scene of Hojae realizing how big a part of his life Geonwoo is was rushed and poorly executed, definitely. This had potential for more! It's a shame.
Read until the last update, chapter twenty one. Minor spoilers.
Originality: 4/10
Overall, there was nothing outstanding or original in this plot. A lot of these ideas have been already utilized and are overused. If the book goes in more deeper about the supernatural events of the story following the next chapters this may change.
Setting: 1/10
Very poorly developed settings. They do not add anything beneficial to the character development, tone, or even narrative style. It almost completely disappeared from the story, or I felt confused as to where and when the tale took place in one or more scenes.
To put it simply, if at any point there was no background and just a simple blank white screen behind the characters, the story would not feel any different.
The background “characters” that are usually there as students in the school setting are very passive. They are not even complete drawings (without eyes or faces) It makes the world feel very strange and unfamiliar. They usually only had one line of dialogue to deliver news or continue on the plot of the story which feels very forced. Adding more unique and recognizable would have made these occurrences flow better.
Characterization: 5/10
Good job setting the main characters personalities. They are pretty strong and noticeable. The characters personality traits were reflected in their attire and physical features. (Ex. Hojae’s long hair reflecting his laziness and care-free personality.) Great way to use show and tell in a story.
Aside from the ones on the spotlight, very few unique characteristics or traits that belong to them. Or I felt like it.
Hojae and Geonwoo are no better than surface level characters. You feel no connection to them at all. We know nothing about them at the end. Like where are their family, why does Hojae live in the place he lives, what are their fears, what are their desires, what do they like, who are their family, what is their place in the setting they are in, how does this setting affect them, etc.
Despite the story verbally telling us that they have been very close since kids, it simply feels flat. The plot fails in showing their closeness in a deeper level.
The “first hot moment” of them masturbating together was out of nowhere.
And it is not because of it being explicit, because it could have been a great plot point to add in there. Make the story more realistic and help us show how strong their connection was. Things like that happen, especially in relationships of 10 years where you go through puberty and naturally talk about sex and masturbation with your close friends. It was simply added in there to force this narrative.
Conflict and Plot 5/10
Geonwoo takes on more of a dominant care-taker role while Hojae is dense and submissive.
It is up to your own taste to decide if the conflicts or the relationship is entertaining. For me, it was certainly a pain to read.
The main conflict of the story being the scent Hojae emits, attracting men in particular.
There are so many plot holes.
One chapter the scent is not a bother at all, and one chapter it turns men into actual mindless zombies where they follow Hojae and literally bang on his door. (21)
Hojae supposedly is not aware of this scent. But how doesn’t he at least acknowledge the “fairy” that gave him this curse? (1) Geonwoo is aware of this but he does not question his sanity or communicate it clearly with Hojae either.
At some particular points in the story there were great attempts at creating suspense but it is easily forgotten with how the story continues on.
No acknowledgment of the supernatural events of the story which is supposed to be the main plot point and conflict.
Emotional/intellectual payoff 3/10
There was such a great chance at creating an amazing emotional scene but the author decided to completely dismiss it. Such a disappointment.
Theme 0/10
No life lessons to be learned here.
Treatment 5/10
The story had an okay pacing. Nothing special.
Strong homophobic undertones. Especially from the blonde haired “professor” and Hojae.
This story is not worth your time. Not even the romance or fluff part of it. Poor storytelling with surface level characters. Give it a go if you are genuinely interested but it was not up to my taste. I know high schoolers who can come up with much more of a developed story than this.
Notes I took during the story and my frustrations with certain characters:
No normal human interactions. Very unprofessional for a professor doing their job. “Mr. Perfect man?” To a student you just met? The professor is just unbearable. Her personality is extremely forced. “My Gaydar”?? Are you fucking kidding me I know this character was a self insert from the author pushed in there to make the plot move forcefully.
They have been friends for years but now the moment the teacher tells him about him possibly being romantically interested now he gets all shy? He never had any moments where he felt embarrassed but just now?
I wrote “Obsessive and creepy” for Geonwoo like 7 times.
No boundaries set. No consent was given from both parties X1020933929
Very dense characters.
Jokes feel forced to enforce on a playful setting.
“They’re gays”......
Homophobic undertones. 288394x
Geonwoo fucking kisses Hojae without consent when he tells him he likes him and suddenly gets mad when Hojae is confused?? What would you do if your 10 year old childhood friend suddenly confessed his feelings for you? And then he fucking refuses to communicate like a normal being and completely ignore Hojae. The moment where Hojae felt isolated could have been developed more with him realizing the obsessive and creepy tone + actions of geonwoo and he could have come to a conclusion. They could have then have a normal and healthy conversation about their worries and feelings as A COUPLE. It’s so frustrating that than geonwoo suddenly comes back as a completely different person from like 15 minutes ago suddenly caring about Hojae and “saves him”.. This plot could have led so many different ways.. Hojae could have rejected Geonwoo at the door and realize his strong dependence on Geonwoo and how creepy it is that he has him hooked up on with food and just regular self care. Hojae’s lazy personality could have been developed more to fit more with the plot. I don’t know man there were just so many ways to get this plot somewhere but this is what the author chose. This was probably written by a female author too so if this is what they see gay relationships as..
I’m more interested in the side couple and I believe it could be a lot better than the main couple from what was foreshadowed for now.
I will continue on reading this when updates come but i don’t have hope.