That was a lot to read T-T
I have forgotten the story so this was such a a good read and analysis
I had the same thoughts. It makes me sad how people see yuki as manipulative. I also don't like how people perceive his death and the reason behind it. Personally i think that Mafuyu is growing for the better, + yuki + Ue is a big help behind it.
Yeah completely agree,, it’s so unfair that they took Yuki’s suicide and hinted depression as something he would use to manipulate Mafuyu especially when it’s Yuki that sets him free from the guilt in his dreams :(
I decided to hurt myself and reread the manga and I wanted to comment my take of a relationship analysis between Mafuyu/Yuki and Mafuyu/Ue. First thing I wanna get off my chest is the idea that Mafuyu didn’t love Yuki and that their relationship was toxic. I personally believe in each relationship there’s always one person who loves more, whether that gap be big or small I believe it’s there and in their case I do believe Yuki loved Mafuyu more, that being said I don’t think Mafuyu DIDNT love Yuki I just think Yuki carried more love than him. Mafuyu grew up in an environment that didn’t have much love, he was a very quiet child with no friends due to his father’s abuse and Yuki was the first person to reach out to him. Yuki reached out to him, introduced him to a group of friends and when Mafuyu’s father was arrested he was a place of comfort for Mafuyu. And due to his upbringing I believe Mafuyu simply didn’t know how to express his love and Yuki being there with him since childhood understood that and still loved him, he was even willing to express more on Mafuyu’s behalf. As for the whole “their relationship was toxic” thing, I don’t think it was toxic either, mind you they were in middle school, it was their first love and first relationship of course it wasn’t perfect. No relationship is perfect and to say Yuki was a toxic boyfriend bc he killed himself due to his depression (I see ppl on social media saying this) is super fucked up, Yuki didn’t kill himself to guilt trip Mafuyu to me it seemed like he always had depression (during the beach scene when he told mafuyu how in a few years he’d forget him). So in conclusion for their relationship I think Mafuyu truly did love Yuki but wasn’t able to express it bc he wasn’t used to it and Yuki loved him so much he was able to accept that but he still had his own demons to face.
As for Ue and Mafuyu, I see a lot of ppl saying Mafuyu didn’t love Yuki and he only loves Ue bc he expresses himself more with Ue. Like I said previously Mafuyu was always quiet (still kinda is) due to his upcoming and although Yuki was able to help with that during their relationship I feel like Mafuyu is now able to express himself more with Ue bc of Yuki’s death and his fear of repeating the same mistakes. We see this when Mafuyu begs Ue to speak instead of bottling it up inside bc that’s what Yuki did and that’s how Mafuyu lost him. Their biggest problem was the lack of communication and Mafuyu doesn’t want the same for him and Ue so that’s why he’s trying so hard. But then again in no way am I blaming Ue, this is his first relationship and if I’m being honest when I’m upset I also tend to shut myself out, Ue doesn’t fully know what happened with Mafuyu’s past and that’s probably why he acted closed off with his own emotions. And a lot like Yuki, Ue managed to pull him out of his own darkness after Yuki’s death (like how Yuki did with Mafuyu after his father’s abuse), Ue helped him overcome his guilt and loneliness of losing Yuki, introduced him to new friends and hobbies he’s passionate about and helped him love again. With that being said, I believe Mafuyu loved both Yuki and Ue, being able to express himself more with Ue bc of his past with Yuki and learning from his mistakes of the past.
Yuki was the one to teach Mafuyu love while Ue was able to fix Mafuyu’s love.