chimi kokopop's Topics (92)

Dude I can rant for a long time about this topic based on my life experience alone in straight and gay male spaces. Im convinced that a lot of 'straight' men that get with women don't like them or see them as people and only get with them out of a false sense of obligation and duty. They generally dont try cause they dont want to be there and arent doing shit that makes them happy. Meanwhile gay men have a lot of their own unique issues when it comes to dating but generally speaking since they usually know what they like, they don't have a reason to be extra abusive and nelgectful in the ways that straight men are to women cause they actually want to be in the relationship.

wanna add in my two cents too because it's probably getting more prevalent in recent times, considering the political climate practically all over the world is more right-leaning and so a lot of these straight men (men in general if we being honest) are more upfront with how they really see women. the case with a lot of straight men is that they don't see women as more than just objects, even the women they are in relationships with - in fact a majority of these straight men Hate women (case in point the observations op pointed out above, the whole ball and chain thing about marriage, weaponized incompetence, etc.) but they still want to fuck women. they don't see women as people, much less their equals, and tend to seek validation from other men (they do seek validation from women but in a different manner, usually to affirm their sexual status symbol, but they'll never feel the need to one-up a woman to prove themselves because they unsubstantiatedly already feel superior to women by default), to the point where we even see cases where men admit going to see female strippers not For the strippers but so they can flex on the other men there.

that's why, when you really think about it and start noticing it, these men be putting in more care into their relationships with other men than they do with the women they have relationships with. because to straight men, women aren't good enough to consider as people much less their equals, but they Are good for other things - fucking, cooking, cleaning, mothering. all this but not good enough for straight men to put in their efforts for, and somehow still not good enough for men to treat as humans instead of as sexual objects or status signifiers or maids, even though the women in these relationships end up taking care of the kids, of household affairs, of cooking and cleaning up after their husbands and boyfriends, of having to be therapists to these ungrateful bastards, and sometimes even doing all this on top of working still.

Perfectly described

Dude exactly this. I usually stick around gay men and even they do everything you describe. The only difference is that gay man at best see women as people and at worse see them as threats to their relationships or objects of sexual disgust. I've really realized that women get the short in the stick no matter what when it comes to relationships with men. Not to mention that in more "normal" (toxic) gay relationships they still pull the same shit as straight men when it comes to the roles played. I've been with so many dudes that regardless of our relationship not being a hetero one they expect that one of us take up the status and burden of the women's role while one of us takes the role of the man. And like this has nothing to do with the bedroom. It's like they're so trained to mirror the same toxic bs as straight relationships that they completely forget this is a relationship that already doesn't follow the 'rules' so you don't have to apply them period.

Adding my 2 cents too, majority of men argue that the divorce rate in lesbien couples are higher than gay men couples and straight couples ignoring the fact that means that choose to end things rather than staying in an unhappy relationship, with straight couples, its known in case the wife is in wrong, the husband will divorce her or act like he forgive her to stay and profit from her domistic labor, and in case the man is in wrong, the wife will tolarate and try to save the marriage until she either succeed or she asks for divorce bc she can no longer tolerate the toxicity of the huaband and the relationship, so in summary men are more likely to not ask for divorce bc why losing the benefits of free labor and sex tool

Aaaaaaaaaaaah.The willingness to abuse yourself and let yourself be unhappy in relationships is a skill no one should have. Also you really made it click why I can't stand dating men in general but especially onesthat are not trying to do better or lack total self awareness.