
I think the underlying mean of able to save her cuz he felt sorry for her, for making her life love worthless in 10 years. And thus he able yo get that courage and also the guilt for not saving that bully making his courage rise up more and thus, able to save her.
The reason he didn't able to catch that bully's hand cuz deep in his heart he felt resentment of those year bullying, and thus his unconscious action stop his action from saving him, that why he hates himself for not saving him cuz those unconscious action comes from resentment towards that bully, even the resentment is little, its still emotion that can affect your unconscious and consciousness mind that will also lead on making decisions.
(Damn idk what im saying anymore..)
And damn girl, you said that you will try to love yourself more but damn why you looks even more tired rn *sigh
Beisy sound like sissy and besty hahahah and the current chapters i feel like they already choose the main in the royal chicken which is our mc, damn i hope our other babies can showcase their charm not being overshadowed by our mc greatness~