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I was groped by a cousin of mine while I was sleeping while he used my hands to jerk himself off (i woke up but pretended to be asleep) and I was fortunate that another cousin of mine entered the room so the bastard ran away so he wont get caught. It was very traumatic experience for me. I was only 14 that time and I wasn’t able to scream for help. Despite being a martial arts student, I can’t move my body when I felt his hands on my chest.
And when I was 18, while I was making out with my bf, in the heat of the moment he grabbed my chest. I FELT SHIVERS ALL OVER MY BODY. IT FELT LIKE I WAS SENT BACK TO THAT TIME WHEN I WAS MOLESTED. Although I gave my consent to my bf, MY BODY AUTOMATICALLY PUSHED HIM AWAY AND I CRIED FOR HOURS WHILE HE’S TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN. He thought that I hated him coz I pushed him away. I wanted to tell him the reason why i pushed him but i was not ready to share my trauma. It took me almost two years before I completely opened up to him and tell him my story. He was angry for me and he understood me. He also respects my boundaries and he never force me to do things I do not want to do.
Now that I’m 22, I still suffer from trauma but I am doing my best to not let my trauma ruin my life and relationships. And I’m thankful to the people who stayed with me during my darkest days. IT TAKES DECADES FOR TRAUMA TO HEAL.
**sorry for the grammatical errors/typos
Sigh .... you've been through a lot. As you said trauma takes a long time to heal, if we let it "sit" there in out mind it just becomes a big abyss that continues to consume us. I'm glad you found support from people around you. I know it's difficult, but i think seeking a professional could also be helpful.
this happend to me when i was 12 yrs. old. i was in a patrol car then i saw my cousing approaching so i pretend to sleep coz i dont want to go home yet. (we are playing hide and seek with my friends) then when he got inside i suddenly feel something cold inside my shortss. im still a child before so idk what is it.. then suddenly my cousin got off then i got up.then went home...i havent told this since then and now im 25yrs old.
Indeed the trauma remains now matter how much time passes, i myself was molested when i was 10 by my cousin. As i grew older some other incidents happened as well and i still feel uncomfortable around men cause of my trauma but I'm slowly getting over them. I'm still 18 and fighting, giving you my full support. GIRL POWER











Reading the comments and realizing that most readers are dumb af lol
Seriously!!! Especially on this site.
my favorite comment until now