
But they don't believe me.
I don't hurt myself
I have no cut scar on my skin
And i don't overdose myself to drugs or alcohol
I live like other people do
Still talking about my "seems too far" dreams
And still do my best at work everyday.
But they only feel a bit puzzled when they know that i don't have any saving for my future
Nor did i ever try to visualize my dreams in the future
I am suicidal
But i will not cut myself
And i will not hang that rope
When i said i am suicidal,
I mean that next time
In the future
When i fell to a deep water
I will not trying to swim
Or when a car slide and crushed me
I will not trying to dodge
Or maybe when
I slipped on the bathroom
I will not call for help.
I am suicidal
In a way that i will let this body rot

So he felt the babu moving before right? Let's say he is like 4 months pregnant(the fastest you can feel your baby movement "quickening")
But then few chapters later HE GOT RAILED HARD like
WHATEFUCK MAN, ARE YA TRYING TO KILL YOUR BABY WHAT THE FUCK. THAT BABY WILL FEEL LIKE HE IS ON A ROLLERCOASTER ALL NIGHT LONG. OH YEAH??? WHAT ARE WE MAKING? LOVE? NAHHH IT'S BLENDED BABY JUICE BITCH

About how he used to play pull and tug with our FL's heart, back when they were at war.
And now WHAT?? YOU WANT WHATT???

Fr fr, like he admitted he was willing to use her affinity towards him if it meant she would work her best for the soldiers and campaign. He knows the effect his disposition has on others and uses it to his benefit.
At first I was like "Okay he does it to benefit the good of the collective, so shady but morally grey at least". Now he is in his feelings because he started to actually vibe with her and he recognized she vibed him too.
Thing is, if she decides to like someone else he should respectfully move on. Take your L sir, you should have made your move instead of waiting, thinking you would always have access to her.
If she has any intelligence she should know that having an affair, much less one involving such important men would destroy her reputation, not just in high society but as a preitess. If she really wants to be with him she'll have to be honest with the Not-Duke first. Although, even if he is joking, the Prince is pretty dark. Like he was a grey guy before but, he is legit dark.
These lesbians
GOD THE STORY WOULD BE SO GOOD IF SHE MARRID HER MAID
IKRRR but they can’t be married because of their status difference