sweet-epiphany's activites

One year ago, I was a world-class player in the game [Arcana]. However, everything I built up was de...

This was crazy and would’ve made for a bomb read if there was an actual plot lol but the crazy-obsessive-manical moments were lowkey delicious

Kishiwada is widely recognized as the school's number one delinquent. But, despite being the le...

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How is mans getting destroyed in his past life AND current life

[Translated by Mosh Scans]Soo-jeong is always getting on the self-absorbed Eunchan's nerves sin...

As the heir to the Yooshin corporation, Yoo Taehyuk is living his best life. However, everything cha...

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'I didn't know I was doing this with my senior.'Woojin Shim and Kwon Gyeong, went to ...

Hitomi has a secret crush on his kind and muscular neighbor, Kamiya.Hitomi always brings him extra f...

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Their relationship dynamic is so weird. Gross, even. Why does Hira have such an obsession with an albeit physically beautiful boy, but a boy who has a pretty shitty personality.

But nO wAit! Kiyoi stood up for Hira before the bullying could get worse!!! Ummm yes, but he still condoned using Hira as a servant. He had no special feelings for Hira. To him, Hira was just convenient. But that changed. How and why?

Well before we get to that let’s first discuss Hira’s strange obsession. Again, imagine idealizing a person who outright says you gross them out! I would CRY if my crush said that! But what I noticed is that Hira first of all does not expect/want love or a relationship from Kiyoi. Hira is simply okay with existing beside Kiyoi (boy PLS raise your standards ). Which is why he’s so okay with being called all these names. Bc even that is more than he expects from his “king”. But why is Kiyoi placed on such a pedestal??? What makes him a king in Hira’s eyes??? Answer: Kiyoi’s selfishness and indifference to people. Kiyoi naturally navigates his world through only prioritizing himself. And people have let him get away with that, and some ppl (like his former friend group) go so far as to cater to Kiyoi’s needs and wants. That’s what makes him a king. And I think one of the reason that he’s able to get away with being rudely indifferent is bc of his pretty face but that’s not what Hira is obsessed with. It’s his attitude to the world. And that’s something Hira feels he can never be: indifferent. He can’t ignore the world bc the world and the people in it have framed how he views himself. What ppl have said about him has shaped who Hira is. But Kiyoi isn’t going to mold himself for anyone—he is unapologetically himself. And I think Hira wants that. It’s definitely one of those “idk if I wanna be you or be with you” situations. Hira chose “be with you” but rn in the story it’s platonically. Bc again he’s okay with just being allowed in the same space as Kiyoi. What a weirdo but it makes sense.

Now, why has Kiyoi started to open up to Hira?? What has changed?? First thing that Kiyoi appreciates about Hira is how honest he is. He’s so easy to read bc he’s so forward about his intentions/thoughts (wether Hira realizes it or not Hira isn’t two faced and manipulative like what Kiyoi is used to. Second, is literally how much of pedestal he is put on by Hira. Kiyoi definitelyyyyy feels validated by that. Kiyoi doesn’t want pity or sympathy about his competition lose. He’s still a winner regardless, wether he has the trophy to prove it or not. And Hira sees that, knowwwws that, just as much as Kiyoi does. Which wow what an ego! but that vocal encouragement/agreement to Kiyoi is something that he doesn’t realize he needs. A support system, a genuine friend, a connection that wholeheartedly roots for you. Kiyoi doesn’t have that and has found it in the most unlikely of people. But bc he has never had it he doesn’t know how to react to it. Where others would say hey! Let’s hangout this weekend bc I want to know you better! Kiyoi lets Hira kiss his hand… oooooookay.

My point is, they have found something in each other that they want to keep. Wether that’s through keeping the other around, a friend but a not-friend, or idealizing the other, whatever way it fits, they’ll have it. Because even tho people don’t want to admit it, we need each other.

They’re young and stupid and I applaud the author for how complex them and their relationship is! The author has outdone herself. I wonder how it will progress from here tho. Bc this connection has the potential to get very toxic bc when you put someone on a pedestal you give them no choice but to look down on you and if Kiyoi and Hira are forever king and servant they’re relationship will move no further. But I have faith the author knows what they’re doing! I heard there’s a drama and cd but that Hira isn’t as creepy in them as he is in the manga, which is unfortunate bc it’s what makes him so interesting (although the machine gun comments were triggering as an American ) so I won’t be tuning into those but I will keep up with the manga!! If you made it to the end of this essay! Congrats! You and I just wasted our precious time on earth!

The authors always know how to ruin their own stories the pace was good but the actual plot is boring and the characters are so one dimensional. I won’t lie Adrian’s weird powers are beginning to get interesting but I wish the author had started with that. Also whyyyy WHY WHY WHY WHY are bl authors so obsessed with rape tropes and the whole walter and Kyle apology kiss was so ICKY ICKY CRIIIINGE whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy why? Why are we forgiving a rapist??? But you know what, I no longer have to ask myself that question bc I’m dropping this—THANK GOODNESS (╯°Д °)╯╧╧

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