Rated The Alphabet's Topics (316)

more like i sure as hell want to be but im too scared and idk where to begin; i secretly wish somebody would just lure me to a dungeon or smth

Why are you scared? If you don't mind me asking.
It's been three years for me, sure there was some up and downs, but it was the best fun that I could never replace.

A bit of gentle femdom, but nothing hardcore. Ropes, pegging, and floggers are fun ;)

Right!!! Femdom is the best.

Hi, I am and well. We don’t typically count consent as consent if the person is inebriated. There is a play involving getting incredibly drunk but consent is established before the first drink. Everything else in this manga is pretty solid and on point.

Yep totally agree with that. And I'm not part of the BDSM community. It's just things I've heard from people who are.

Read joannac's replies from this topic: http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/2547649/

oh u know, just the usual conservative upbringing lmao
sorry didnt realize i was anonymous #－.－)

It's okay lol
But I'm sure you'll do fine once you put your mind to it. <3

An S over here. I was in the community when I was younger (lol). Now I'm about to get marry and still playing only with my fiancé (Maybe I'm here just to brag? haha)

There's a lot of people bashing this manga because "it's not real S&M", "It's abusive" and a lot of things. But that's only because they don't understand that not all couples are the same and likes the same.
This is a little hardcore and that's why not everybody is fine with it, but it's still pretty real and healthy.

don't be scared!
In actuality you can even go to facebook and search for a group with those interest near your location.

People that practice S&M seriously are really respectfull about consent and going slow.
Go meet them, get to know them, make you feel confortable with them and take a step little by little.

You never know, maybe your soulmate is waiting for you in there hahaha

Yey, another insight! They're just insisting on the consent and safe words when it differs from one Dom to another. I don't practice but I learn a lot from you guys. I am actually impressed with how the author went around with those, everything's delivered with delicacy and not straight up BDSM or the usual ones that you'd usually read, esp ever since 50 shades went viral.

I am very happy with this manga.

I know not all BDSM couples use safewords, but I think if you're gonna be doing rape play or any of the really hardcore stuff then you need one. And with gags you gotta be creative, because the sub can't say anything. Like have a bell within reach they can ring or a sign. It's very important that BDSM play is always safe and consensual. How you make that happen differs from couple to couple. In general, and this is my personal opinion, I like having a safeword just in case. Two actually. A "this is too much, but don't stop completely" safeword, and a "this entire scene needs to stop" safeword.

oh man I've searched about finding groups and going to your first munch yada yada but I keep putting it off for whatever reason hahaha

I mean I live with my family and I keep thinking oh how am I gonna hide it from them and like what do I even do just walk up to them and say hey im new and hella into pain??? LMAO

SOMEDAY....

I live with family as well and they know about my kinky lifestyle lmao

I dont think I can ever tell them, were sorta really conservative and traditional

Ohhh I see. Well, you can always message me if you ever want to talk! :3

Nice another one! It really depends, I guess. I think a huge part of it is how much you trust your partner esp the Dom. It's just my observation. Like I've learned, the Dom has the responsibility to read the situation and sense what the Sub is capable of doing or taking. For exclusive couples or partners, depends on how much they trust each other and how well the Dom is, maybe just maybe, they can get away with safe words but for casual partners doing BDSM, I really do think they are a must.

But going back to the story, I think part of what Shizuru was imparting on to Akihisa was that he can be trusted, that if Akihisa submits his whole self to Shizuru, Shizuru will give him the best experience that of course Akihisa can tolerate and find pleasure in.

Yes, more or less that's what you gonna say xD
Also you can say "I'm completely nervous and I don't know how to start. Please guide me" hahaha

I'm really agree with this thing about the difference between a exclusive partner and a one night stand and safe words.

We don't have a safe word because my partner always forgets it (Hahaha!!) And has never tried to use it because he is kind of like the character on this manga: he wants to be seduced, he wants to be corrupted and he wants to know a world that he could never learn being "safe". He also knows that I love him truly and no matter what I say or do in sex he is my most precious person in this world, so he trust me fully. But he really like this submissive part more than pain or bondage.

This can be done with random partners but I don't recommend it. But in this manga I can say it's ok because seme-san (I forgot his names) is really experienced and doesn't treat uke-kun like a no one, instead he is paying him full attention while teaching him and alluring him. That's what both wanted and that's what made them happy. So we are not to judge if it is or not whatever the hell we think

You're the Dom! Nice. How cute. Your partner forgets it. But yeah there is no need since as a partner you know what your partner can handle and you wouldn't subject him to something he can almost die. Though, I've seen pretty hardcore ones floating around Tumblr which is pretty.....well. I'm glad they are still alive, maybe. Bondage and pain I guess are just tools but, correct me if I'm wrong, the whole point of BDSM esp for Subs is to be stripped off of their agency and independence, lose control of themselves and let someone take over them.

I watched or read somewhere that others hire or create clubs for BDSM. I even see like some sort of harem BDSM. Those cases indeed need safe words because they are random people and even if you know them, there's no emotional connection the way romantic partners do. The level of trust they have would be completely different compared to you guys. Shizuru (seme-kun, I had to read the first chapter to remember) exudes being an exclusive Dom, so he wouldn't be doing it to random people and it's like his Sub should always be his romantic partner.

Yeah, I think my biggest issue with this manga is actually the lack talk about boundaries. The uke is completely new to this, to me a resposible Dom would've taken more time to explain what the uke was getting into and at least explained what a safeword is. But mostly the talk about boundaries, hard and soft ones.

I think why the author chose it this way was either 1) it's the fictional part of the story, 2) shows how much of a risk taker and confident the Dom is, 3) to cut the scenes short, or all of the above.

Shizuru was able to test how much of a Sub Akihisa can be. One of the comments I have read, Doms are able to identify people who are potential Subs, in this case Akihisa was a complete Sub, and Shizuru testing Akihisa apparently was successful. Also, Shizuru's approach was that of not intending the relationship as a casual one and he was expecting this to be an exclusive one. Training his personal Sub. With that logic, he didn't need Akihisa to fully wrap his head around BDSM, after all no else would be dominating Akihisa but him. Quite conceited, selfish and totally dominating, imo. Well I thought it was very fun this way. If sensei went very traditional, I think it wouldn't be as interesting and spicy as it is now.

I still thought he was a bad dom in many ways in the beginning.

http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/sm_gokko/mi/30ba27864169047076448c274a9d7eb5_chapter-1/25/
Chapter 1, page 25. Their first "real" scene. This is the killer for me. If the mangaka wanted to depict a healthy BDSM relationship this totally ruined it for me.
This is litterally the first time they have sex. This is litterally the first time the uke tries BDSM. There has been no talk of boundaries (hard or soft). No talk of safewords, and at this point they are NOT an exclusive couple who knows each other's tells. Even if he is a very experienced Dom people are different and you cannot rely on your own skills to read a sub in a first time situation completely.

When the uke revokes consent, which he does in a calm and collected manner (not the blushy and flustered "no" that people usually rely on to defend dub-con as not rape) the Dom gags him. GAGS HIM. No talk of safewords, no boundaries.

Yes, after this the uke gets hard, willingly sucks the Dom, and thinks he could have protested harder. That's all fine. But the Dom could not have known that in the page I linked. The Dom did not care about the uke's consent, experience, or limits in that moment. So far I've read no argument that convices me otherwise.

I think he's depicted as a good Dom:
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/sm_gokko/mi/tr_chapter-2/pg-8/
Checking that the bondage is not too tight/uncomfortable (in a bad way).

But to me he he's shown as a bad Dom more often:
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/sm_gokko/mi/tr_chapter-2/pg-19/ Chapter 2, page 19: the Dom says the uke says he doesn't know how to ask him to stop. We don't know if this means the uke doesn't know how (like a safeword?), or has been told and just isn't doing it. We, as the reader, don't know. A scene with them talking about safewords and boundaries would've stopped this.

http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/sm_gokko/mi/30ba27864169047076448c274a9d7eb5_chapter-3/17/ Chapter 3, page 17: The Dom did not think the uke would he return. Did he himself think he went to far? Does he know the way he did things are wrong?

http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/sm_gokko/mi/30ba27864169047076448c274a9d7eb5_chapter-3/26/ Cahpter 3, page 19: uke says that it is still far ahead that he will enjoy and feel it while doing it. Having sex? Or the BDSM? Both? It's not made clear and could be interpreted multiple ways.

So in conclusion: the Dom is good in some ways, but they do NOT in my opinion make up for the bad. But no one says the mangaka tried to depict a totally good Dom. I just don't like that people are saying this guy is a good Dom. Because to me he isn't.

Then I guess it was effective, Shizuru was successfully depicted as conceited, over confident, risk-taking and selfish. The theme of the story is mindfuck-ery and not the perfect healthy BDSM. Depends on people, some may think it's okay some don't, I mean among those who do practice it, DEFINITELY not those who don't. We shouldn't have a complete say about it since we don't have first hand experience on it. Disclaimer: Everything I say are just based from what I learned from those who do practice it here in the comments section.

You are definitely right. What he is doing should be between long time partners but he is skipping way ahead because if I try to think like Shizuru, that's just how he is, I mean his personality. Indeed quite of a bastard, he just consumes everything in a person and he doesn't care about the other's welfare, rather he defines that person's welfare. And he just waited if the next person ringing his door would be the police or Akihisa, bet his ego was overflowing when he successfully created a Sub out of Akihisa, when he came back.

As someone who likes femdom myself, someone who did extensive research about this before diving into the BDSM community, it just annoys me that people call this healthy.

It's not a healthy relationship at all. And that's fine! It's fine to write story about that. It's fine to write about a Dom who isn't perfect. But I'm so annoyed that people are defending him and saying that's how BDSM works. Like no. Consent is still very much a thing in BDSM.

I know you're not saying that it's healthy, but god, so many here are.

Regarding consent it depends, like joannac who I got to talk with here in the comments, practicing BDSM for 25 years (yeah I highly value their credentials, lol), considers the consent valid, since it was re-affirmed later on.

It still depends on perspective, I guess. I know you have your knowledge and experience to back your stand on consent but I also read someone else's and upon scrutiny, I have considered the consent valid, as well. By the book, yes, this is not a healthy one, but in some way it is still possible, a non-traditional one that is, and can be made healthy.

Can't help but get those comments when all they have known about BDSM was through other fictional sources. I myself had some research done a while back so I do know how it is properly done and I was enlightened after reading joannac's insights.

I’ve read Joannac’s replies. Can’t say I agree with them on the consent thing.
Later on in the story the uke gives consent to many things and actively seeks out the seme. This is fine. That’s play the uke consented to.
But not this first time. Not to me. Yes, later the uke agrees and finds he likes the stuff. But on page 25 he says no. He says it seriously. The seme isn’t all-knowing. Doms are, despite what some might like to think, only human. He could not with certainty have known the uke would like things. In that moment he knew nothing of the uke’s tells. Later we learnt that the uke liked it. Later! The seme cannot see into the future. For all he knew the uke could hate what he was about to do. My issue is that despite the revoke of consent, despite not knowing his sub’s limits, despite the sub being new and inexperienced, he went ahead anyway. Even gagged him. To me that could never be okay.

I can't really say anything anymore since it seems you really see yourself in the situation and that if it were you, you would never accept Shizuru's methods.

But the way the author designed Shizuru is that he has a god-like personality and is overly confident and Akihisa turned out to be the perfect complement to his whims. He experimented on another person and he was successful in it.

I swear I worded this comment better but I lost everything I typed for some reason, so if you misunderstand me, I apologize.

I love how serious this has gotten. (づ￣ ³￣)づ