So I have a few online friends on Discord, and we were just talking normally, but one of them—who’s a guy—sometimes makes random misogynistic jokes, like making fun of women and stuff. I usually tried to tolerate it, but one day I finally told him I didn’t like those jokes, hoping he’d understand. My other friend, who’s also a girl, agreed with me.
But instead of listening, he called me out, saying I’ve made similar jokes—just reversed. Basically, I’ve made jokes about men, but honestly, I only did that to fight back when he started it. Still, he said it was hypocritical, like, “If men can’t make those kinds of jokes, then women shouldn’t either. It goes both ways.”
I tried to explain to him that it’s not the same thing. Women have it way worse, and misandry doesn’t even carry the same weight or impact as misogyny. Then he asked me if me or my friend ever experienced any of that stuff directly and told me to give examples. I don’t go out much, so I didn’t have a ton of real-life stories, but I have experienced some stuff online in games with voice chat—like just chatting normally and suddenly getting asked by some dude to marry him, or random guys pretending to hump me from behind, stuff like that.
But before I could even explain, he left the call upset.
Later, when my friend and I tried to call together, he said we should call privately instead of the group chat. So I added her to a different group chat that I had with another girl friend (it was just me and her). That group chat, by the way, was originally created by him when he got upset that we were talking too much about topics he didn’t like. He literally made it so we could “talk in private” without bothering him, and then he left the group.
I didn’t delete the group chat mostly out of spite, so now me and my friends use it when we want to talk without him. But when I accidentally mentioned that “secret” group chat to him, he got even more upset and called us assholes for having a group chat without him.
I do feel a little guilty about it, but it’s not like we trash-talk him there or anything—it literally exists because of him in the first place.
So… AITA for having that group chat without him and not telling him? :')
