
i think one of the reasons why i find heiner irritating is bc he seems to not even try to change. And no, this is not about who has the "bigger" trauma or who suffered longer. Heiner and Anette are both traumatized. Trauma is trauma. But as much as trauma causes someone to have irrational thoughts, it doesn't stop one from being the very least rational at all.
Heiner has ptsd, yes, and all that pain, guilt, love, and hate led him to hurt anette so much that she wanted to end her life, which caused him more trauma. What I do not understand is how he saw first hand how his twisted feelings made anette suffer in so much misery that she'd rather be dead than to continue living with him, but he keeps acting and doing as he wants.
Like sure, he more or less acknowledged that he fucked up so he agreed to divorce her and let her go, but if u ask me, it seems like even after being apart, he's expecting annette to, idk, accept him again??? like he expects anette to adjust to his trauma and understand that he's that way bc of what he went thru rather than doing smth that could help him (or anette) to start healing.
I really get that he's a complicated character, but i was expecting him to actually have some character development when they split like him reflecting on his actions, facing his trauma and what it resulted to, deciding to try to better himself one step at a time so that by the time they reunite, he'd more or less know how to face and address the pain he caused annette and not this "i am fucked up because of my past and thats why i keep trying to hold on to you even tho i made your life a living hell, i hope you understand"
like brooo if anette attempting su!cide traumatized him so bad, the last thing he shld do is to try to force himself back in anette's life

BROOO I CANT STOP CRYING EVER SINCE THEY RELEASED THE SONG "TO THE SEA" IN THE FINAL ANIME MOVIE
I especially love two lines in the song:
1) One is the final chorus, "Hey, in this life, among all the seasons we encountered together, I only found one (person), and my entire body calls out that name."
At first, I thought the "one" season that he found was referring to Yuki, but then I realized that his name only meant snow, which is not a season. You know whose name has the meaning of a season?? MAFUYU.
Winter in Japanese is FUYU. The kanji in Mafuyu's name basically means "midwinter". The last chorus is basically Yuki and Ueno saying how much Mafuyu means to them. They both love Mafuyu with all their heart.
2) The other is the bridge before the last chorus, "In the middle of winter, just like drops falling, a glittering moment was given to me. In this everlasting corner of history, remember how our meeting is a miracle"
Ueno met Mafuyu in the middle of winter. Mafuyu's name means "midwinter". The words "like drops falling" refer to snow (Yuki). SO BASICALLY IT MEANS:
"Just like Yuki, Mafuyu is such a glittering existence in my life that meeting him is a miracle."
The "Just like Yuki" line can be interpreted in two ways: either from ueno's pov where both him and Yuki consider Mafuyu as a glittering existence OR from ueno's pov as well but this time in the sense that Mafuyu means so much to him, just like how Yuki means so much to Mafuyu.
anw IM SOBBING WHERE DO I FIND A GUY WHO'D TELL ME MY EXISTENCE IS A MIRACLE TO THEM T-T
Also, fun fact, ueno's first name Ritsuka means "the beginning of summer" so the last chorus can also be seen from Mafuyu's POV because he also found Uenoyama who loves everything about him, even his memories with Yuki. You can also think of it this way: the beginning of summer is what melted away the snow ;))
OKAY THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING MY TEDTALK, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I'LL JUST BE IN A CORNER SOBBING MY HEART OUT NOW

wait i thought they started going out so why is he still meeting other girls at bars???

I was like ‘wot’ n tried dissecting the scene and the girl says ‘they said lets go to the second place’ (something along the lines with that) so that made me think theres people other than them so maybe work dinner or a social gathering or something?? Idk it still kinda irked me that he said ‘not today’ maybe it was a translation issue. I honestly didnt care much about akira sleeping around cuz he and kaho werent together together but like didnt they technically confess to eachother in chap 18 (well she confessed n he didnt want her to leave him..) so like thats kinda ugh sad but this is fictional so oh well. Gotta see wat he does in the next couple chaps ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭

I kinda expected Akira to, idk, be more serious about Kaho. Like even if it was a work gathering or get together, it just irks me how he lets a girl, who is clearly flirting, to get all over him like that when he is already dating someone. But you're right, this is fiction (still pisses me off tho lol)

Yeaa the boundaries right.. It did slightly put me off. Best case is that they properly establish a relationship then he sets boundaries with other girls or like i kinda want kaho to see the flirty thing happen and akira reevaluating his actions etc ya know but then again would they establish the relationship? Not sure tbh hope they do but they do hav a chill not so great boundary type of relationship which can only be okay in a fictional setting but yeaaaa
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im kinda sad lorenzo is not the ml because if u ask me, he has more of a personality than schwarz huhu like sure, it's romantic how schwarz spent his whole life searching for cerise but idk for some reason his character just feels flat to me. Like the only thing his character has is his "obsession" with jeanne/cerise. I guess it's because schwarz only showed up in the middle of the story unlike lorenzo who was there from the start so i got attached to him pretty early on.
im also such a huge sucker for enemies to lovers trope so i thought that was what this manhwa was going for when it was revealed that lorenzo was a spy. Him and Cerise are so cute and funny together and i enjoyed the subtle hints of lorenzo liking cerise (him blushing etc) that i was SO ROOTING FOR HIM
Now i havent read the whole raws yet, just the chapter where lorenzo confessed and got rejected cuz cerise was already dating schwarz then, so maybe there'll be more moments soon of schwarz and cerise that would explain why he is the ml.
For now, i'll just continue crying bc of this second lead syndrome :")
Preach. You ate with this comment!!
But for real, same. The dynamic and interaction, and enemies to lovers schlick is everything I wanted with Lorenzo. Schwarz feels so forced and lifeless without any charm.