leeahraa_'s Topics (269)

it's been a long time since i cried bowls to a book but this turned me into a mess yesterday. started reading this after watching the edit of it for the scene where karel got married and sasya attended the wedding (and i honestly thought they won't gonna be the endgame lol, this is why you shouldn't just believe everything you see on internet)

artstyle wise, this isn't something that will become everyone's cup of tea but for me personally, it's pretty and i liked it. it has such a vintage vibe from 1900's paintings. the pace is mixed between current timeline and flashback, and the point of view sometimes changes between third pov or first pov

you wouldn't believe how much this story reminds me of mlcd because both got similar elements like blond haired ml with golden retriever personality (i started seeing the type), the double-life they had to live (remember the time when lewellyn had to lie to shavonne and say that he works as a prostitute? that's just how karel lived up his identity as rich businessman with mysterious background), the flipped romance (ml is head over heels to the mc in the first arc, but mc would fell deeper to the ml in the later arc)

move to the storyline, i personally thought 'solo for two' is how you write a proper dark romance; because this has complex characters and heavy theme with compelling plotline, with the main focus is still romance. the first 10 chapters indeed felt a bit boring because the premise is too predictable but trust me that if you stay, the shit started to get deep and compelling right there

every characters here are morally grey and some of them might make you despise them at certain point but they're just ordinary humans with ego and trying their best to survive. from sasya til madam rambouillet, they all have their own reasonings for doing what they did

julian was doubting karel's feelings at the beginning because he felt like sasya would only be the obstacle for karel because he could see that his brother can achieve everything he put his mind to. he doesn't see karel as sworn brother, but more like real brother, maybe because they were practically growing up together. but karel proved him that he's happy with his choice to live together with sasya; that was the first time he showed an utter interest to something eventhough karel was always seems nonchalant all these time. that also makes him devastated when he heard the news that karel died in the battlefield, with no body to found. his rage to sasya is completely justified after the flashback arc showed that sasya seems like ungrateful little bitch from his point of view

sasya has severe ptsd from the sexual assault history. he was rather young when he experienced the attack from grand duke, he also had to witness his mother got murdered and become a fugitive after. those things are easy to drive any sane people into madness, that's why he kept getting hallucination because the mental stress became a heavy burden that weighed him. the portrayal of his mental state and alcohol addiction is something straight up a clinical depression symptom

it's not like sasya doesn't believe karel's feelings for him at the beginning of the story, he just doesn't want to put his trust to another human completely. his mum told him that everything comes with a price, that's why he couldn't believe that somebody can love him without asking something in return. he thought love is transactional, that's why he didn't want to open his heart to receive karel's love. he repetitively experienced the same treatment for opening his heart only to get hurt -- like how he got kicked by the husband of a woman who taught him ballet. sasya was unstable but the proper care from karel improved his state and at this point idk which ml had the amount of love as his (i might never move on from this y'all)

madam rambouillet had been taught that marriage is a tool, that's why she believed that being married for convenience is better than cheap love. the young maiden gotten married to a grand duke twice her age, and had to experience loveless marriage for years. the first time she felt love was when she met karel, and burning with those passion, she felt the urge to own karel only for herself thus why he tried to send sasya away (sasya never left because inside his heart, he feels the same with karel). in the end, rambouillet is a sweet soul and deserved all happy ending with her new fiancee

karel is just a lonely kid. he's not the kind, succumbed kid, and whatever people might think he is; he has things he wanted but never built the courage to say that. that's why when sasya stepped into his life, he turned egoist and wanted him to be his. that's why he tried all of things to make sasya trusts him, turned himself to a crime he never committed, and fly to a war where he had 50/50 chance of come back home alive. all those to fulfill his promise to be freed faster and get together with sasya again. when he's back from war and started living his double life, he acted like he never knew sasya and didn't know about his whereabouts, though the reality is different from that

the question is; does skar and karel are two different personalities? i had my hunch and skar imo is just karel's alter for surviving a horrifying war, that's why he has violent tendencies at times. like the time when he put piercing on sasya's nipple, it might one of the fetish he developed after having to slashed countless people at battlefield. the 'funny' thing is when skar stated that it might be even better if sasya could hate him because that feeling lasts longer than love, this would spark a discussion

george appearance is important and i'm kinda attached to him i did wonder where he goes in the latest chapter but it impliedly written that he still working under karel and become his subordinate in his new business. i think at some point the rumor had chance to be true, that he and skar had engaged in sexual relationship in the past, seeing how loyal he became to the mere ex captain at war

the appearance of charles and levin in the story ain't for merry factor only but it underlined the character development of sasya. halfway of the story, we witnessed that sasya is blissfully unaware of his 'past crime' that's why when karel get sent to a prison, his question was "why did you do that?" not "why do you take the blame?"

sasya mentioned the reason he hired levin was because she got the same name as his brother, and i think it's his first resolve to not run away again and started accepting things the way it is. adopting charles is his way to atone his sin and take responsibility, something that he didn't really understand because he felt like he never make himself owe another people

i really liked how the story conveyed, the clues are getting revealed one by one. i initially thought that karel indeed grew a little tired of having to love sasya one-sidedly that's why he put a stop into it, but the plot twist told us otherwise, questioning what was his plan all along but in the end he did everything for the sake of another people again

the misunderstanding factor was stressing, but it enhanced the melodrama. karel never stopped loving sasya, he acted cold and indifferent because he has to protect him. sasya is a russian, and if they started to get close out of the blue, they would seem like an old lover in disguise while sasya sending secret information to his homeland. the colonel would suspect, and all of his plans will go to the drain. sasya didn't leave their home just because he wanted to be a principal dancer; he wrote in the letter that he would want to meet again after war ended (maybe partly because he's russian and he thought that staying in their old home would be a bit dangerous). same goes with the way karel planned out his way to protect rambouillet

i'm curious about what happened to colonel who gave karel an order to live as a spy after the truths unveiled. does he gonna get jail time to threaten ex soldier into doing something dangerous? it doesn't get any detail so maybe y'all can give any idea?

all in all, i give this solid 4.8/5 because this is succeeded to make me feel things i haven't felt for a while

ps; do any of you got the link/web to buy the original copy of the novel? if you can, one that's translated to english. i tried searching it but every link is a joke

omg the 'squirting' leo caught me off guard lmaooo. the internal monologue from jae-jin seemed to be his thing after they tied the knot and officially fiancees. never knew he had that kink lol

i feel like the entitled, arrogant, and bossy personality of chase is his manifestation of trying to be rebel to his family so that he won't just get dissmissed. he might've been a soft kid who's in touch with his emotions but he buried all feelings after his family said that 'birds are nothing compared to dogs' or something around that line. and that arrogant personality worsen after he failed to find the one night stand partner even though that particular guy was standing in front of him. it would be so endearing to dive more into chase's character

does lee-won pay leonid to hunt tsar? maybe not to kill him but more like give him warning because he's been too overboard by beating vlad to pulp

single me witnessing 2 proposals today (this one and the driver's high)

THE WAY TEARS TRICKLING DOWN MY FACE jae-jin is numero uno when it comes to being gentle and genuine. the way he said that he doesn't wanna to be just boyfriend but family, he might feel the heavy pressure gets lifted off of his chest after confessing it all

THE SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT ROAM THROUGH MY SCREEN BROOO kang-eun is the one caught getting railed by his son but i feel like i need to bury myself 6ft under the ground

that's why i'm here but why do i think the episodes are too short it feels like they're getting cut here and there. i don't remember seeing isaac and kang-eun had sex in the previous chapter (their relationship barely had any development though so how could they bang each other), or is it only shown as flashback in this chapter 3? i feel like the pacing is too abrupt

the cover art with jue-xia somehow reminds me of hu ye-tao, who's lately famous in internet. somehow i imagined jue-xia with his face, even their petite figures and soft face features similar to each other aaaaaa

maaaan. not gonna lie but seeing the son reminds me a lot with lewellyn his hair color, his smile, and even his personality is like copy paste of lewellyn