babao's Topics (112)

[...] I want to be loved in full.

This was a really nice line because if you think about it, 1st Sejin's dying wishes never actually came true. 2nd Sejin's supposed 'clean slate 2nd life' was where he was loved with heavy guilt instead of a whole, unadulterated, and sincere love.

I'm not demeaning Ido's desperate attempts to overwrite his wrongs, but it's definitely difficult to look at it objectively and believe he had done everything from the goodness of his heart. Yes, it was love, but his guilt and repentance weighed even heavier. The fact he is so scared of handling 2nd Sejin, the fact he could easily break their engagement and 'let him go', he acted so evidently on his guilt that it created a deep and vast empty distance between him and 2nd Sejin.

Ido is so obsessed on perfecting the miraculous second chance that he completely overlooks the natural development of feelings between the new him and 2nd Sejin. I'm going to pull 2nd Sejin's words before the bonding wherein he felt "like a pet". Because it's true to an extent.

Ido clothed, sheltered, and developed 2nd Sejin to how he is now. Spoiled, pampered, and well-guarded. Ido was practically cherry-pickigng what was good and what wasn't in 2nd Sejin's life, leaving 2nd Sejin inadvertently reliant on Idi. And, honestly, the way I do acted is pretty much how an owner acts when their first pet dies from a traumatic cause. You become so protective of your new pet you do everything to prevent them from the tragic event last time because enay death that isn't of terminal illness or of old age is something you more often than not obsess over in justifying.

Sure, Sejin's decision to push through is ultimately his own, but the emotional weight, the opportunity, the responsibility, and expectations was always subjected to him by someone else, always Ido. Again, Ido overlooked the most important aspect: emotions. Because he keeps chasing after the so-called "Happy Ending" in other words, the lifetime where Sejin doesn't kill himself.

I think at this point, we might probably see Ido's perspective on matters now and the so-called chasing arc? Because from how I see it, Sejin is pretty much trying to assemble two very similar puzzle pieces on an already made puzzle board. He's trying to weave his memories into one and ensure that his reality isn't messed up. I don't think it's going to be easy either. Sure that the 2nd Sejin now is more emotionally and psychologically sheltered and well enough to be capable of analyzing and digesting the 1st Sejin's memories, but I don't think any human being can actually stay normal after being shot with years worth of memories and abuse in just a matter of hours.

2nd Sejin will need the time off to sort his feelings. If he really loves Ido, if the memories of his 1st life would even change the feelings he has now, and trying all sorts of introspection to draw the line between his feelings now and the past. On the other hand, Ido will probably understand even further how he has jumped over multiple steps that has caused his own anxieties, insecurities, and the severance of their relationship again.

I really can't want to see more of Ido's perspective. I really want to know how he sort of descended I fo guilt after he force-bonded with Sejin in the first life. And him having to retrace all that guilt and anxiety and find a way to come in terms to it now that Sejin has recalled everything. Because, in my opinion, the more he holds onto that guilt, the more that his so-called acts of affection and service become more of his attempts for self-preservation and repentance. He wants to do good because ehe had done so wrong back then, not inherently that he wants to do good to make his partner feel good or for both of them to feel good. He's still stuck in the past, still stuck in easing the pain, still stuck in finding a way to relieve himself off this living nightmare. There is no other better way to save yourself that having to come face to face to the nightmare itself.

And this is the best way: facing Sejin, in his truest and rawest emotions and memories, once again. Maybe as well this time, Sejin's dying wish to be loved in full can finally be fulfilled now.

Anyways! I think I can marinate again for a while so that binging the chasing arc is super worth it.

It says here that Bonding (whether forced it mutual) will create a connection that allows emotions to be shared between partners, even just a glimpse or a gut feeling if not the entire depth of the emotion.

I feel like Ido avoided Sejin because he only understood the gravity of Sejin's self-loathing, hopelessness, and depression after the bonding? I think being bombarded by that extremely heavy, suicidal, and hateful emotions surged and broke through Ido's psyche he physically had to separate himself from Sejin.

On the other hand, I think Sejin was so psychologicallly challenged and damaged that he couldn't even recognize nor pick up even the smallest signal of Ido's emotions. Sejin was so far gone that the only thing he recognized was the Bonding as a shackle?

Because that's the only logical thing I could hypothesize in why Ido had that odd expression right after the forced bonding and why he kept a guard on Sejin after he physically separated from Sejin. I think I do had some sort of inkling of a thought that Sejin was so close to breaking point he needed a guard? And when Sejin was really going to kill himself (basically the moment you decide on definitely suicide), there is a whole different wavelength of emotion that courses through your mind that might've triggered a fight or flight response on Ido which is why he arrived there right at the exact moment?

Like, sure, for the sake of plot Ido was just very conveniently around despite the continuous days of never showing his face in front of Sejin. And somehow he conveniently arrived while Sejin was there about to kill himself? I definitely think If had a feeling Sejin was going to "Cut Off" basically the emotional signal of the bond just flatlined.

Not defending Ido or anything, I just thing that I do being bombed with that depressive and hateful emotions would be an interesting plot detail if ever that was the case, because it would match with Sejin who is absolutely detached from his own emotions at this point, so blinded by the desire to die, that he couldn't recognize what he feels or what his partner feels (via the bond).

Or, better yet, Sejin might have even recognized Ido's feelings (which have been influenced by Sejin's depression), but because Sejin is so psychologically damaged that he probably recognized Ido's confusion and growing self-hatred as Sejin's /own inflated self-loathing/. Because, again, I think that would be an interesting plot detail since it was already mentioned prior that the bonding shares emotions/memories.

Whatever Ido had felt, Sejin recognized as his own hatred speaking volumes to himself.

Anyways. Well. I was writing this and suddenly the rope teleported to my neck /joking. I can't wait for the this manhwa's chapters always, it's so good. I really love a good angst and my favorites are when ukes (or the seme, not picky) actually succeed in killing themselves (or make a really damaging attempt).

If anyone has recommendations for other manhwas where the uke/seme kills themselves, please let me know I really love those works especially if it is super angsty, like downright heart wrenching and tragic and traumatizing. Thank you!

I miss when airheaded characters were actually funny, we need more manhwas with an uke like this. And Jejin is such a memorable name too!

That is such a solid line! Someone give our author and artist a pay raise RN! I'm in tears, this shit is so good I feel like a mother tutoring their incurable idiot and suddenly they get full marks on their test.

That was such a satisfying chapter. The paneling, the thought process! Honestly, as annoying as the entire mental gymnastics were, the paneling of this manhwa is so, so good.

I'm going to wait and see if the chasing arc/coming out arc are going to be just as good until the end and I'll officially buy the chapters.

Where Jiwon says he's okay with Jungwoo's possessiveness is so sad. Because we later see how happy Jieon feels when someone dotes on him and cares for him a lot. It's like a drug to Jiwon. He feels that surge of love from the possessiveness, and when things fall flat he sobers up and the anxiety hits him tenfold. Like no person should be that starves for affection...

I think Jiwon is just too emotionally and psychologically damaged to enter a functioning relationship. It doesn't help that Jungwoo used to be straight and Jiwon has no idea how to navigate a relationship, moreso how to keep a partner who came from straight to bi afloat.

I like that Jungwoo is straightforward. It matches well with shy types. But we're not handling extrovert x introvert. We're handling a semi control freak and a psychologically anxious person.

And I don't doubt that Jiwon has perfectionism either, that backstory where the coach beats him for any mistake is enough explanation on why Jiwon over explains and is so anxious to try things. He's so scared of making a mistake, of rejection and of disappointment because he feels so alone and beat up.

Jungwoo is kind of giving mixed signals if I have to be honest. He says early in the story how clingy and possessive lovers suffocate him, and now he's exhibiting just those behaviors he hate and he even admits it to Jiwon. The very Jiwon who has a hard time understanding social cues and even his own emotions.

The turbulent and massive love bombing that Jungwoo has is just too much. Jiwon needs time apart to sort himself before he can be with Jungwoo. Not because I think he's immature or that Jungwoo deserves better, it's because if they continue like this, they're bound to fight bigger arguments that would kill Jiwon inside more and it would enable Jungwoo's controlling behavior more.

This might be the first time for Jungwoo to really be in love and he also doesn't know how to navigate that kind of emotion. He's probably only felt basic romance from his exes, and how he loves someone is kind of an amalgamation of his exes. I think he might have learned possessiveness from them. The more Jiwon allows it, the more comfortable Jungwoo is in exerting his influence to keep Jiwon.

First relationships can become really heavy... Jiwon just needs some time and to take things slow. And Jungwoo really needs to stop love bombing and giving mixed signals.

Either way, the story is pretty cute overall, I hope it doesn't get too dragged on.

I'm going to kms.

Normally, I don't mind the triggering content but this is just too good. Kind of like how Scammed and Rammed was before the fuckass ending came to be.

I really hope this stays green and cute, if the ML goes red there is no more hope

Anyways, super cute! Can't wait for more. And the art style is so good too!

The end?

We got robbed of the scene where Chiyoung says he wishes he could get pregnant instead

Or did the rope teleport to my neck haha...

1. Minwu has logic with his words.

2. It's still up to Hyojun if he wants to meet his ex or not. I mean, Minwu has nothing against meeting his own exes (he was just pissed off last time because Hyojun was there to see it all)

3. Besides, Hyojun said he wanted a clean break and shake off that Garbage once and for all.

4. But Minwu just made it worse by immaturely saying all that shit like the ring and having a non-committal sexual relationship with Hyojun.

Either way, this arc pretty much just highlights the maturity difference between two MLs. Right now, Minwu is pretty immature. Heads straight first, falls fast and hard, and is pretty committed to matters he sets his mind into. I think we'll just have to see him learn that jaded queer people can be a bit more complicated to figure out.

I mean, Hyojun is healing from a disastrous gay relationship while Minwu wants to pursue his first gay relationship after living like a total fuckboy, things are definitely gonna be rough at first.

Not to mention that Garbage manager probably has it all figured out and is gonna mess with Minwu and Hyojun a lot more.

I also think Hyojun might underestimate Minwu's affections eventually. I don't blame him, but I do see that kind of conversation happening. Hyojun will also just have to witness eventually that Minwu does like him sincerely.

Anyways... Crybaby tops? Sign me tf up. So cute!

I hope we're not forgetting that Itae DOES get jealous. Remember their first night together? Itae got upset knowing that Geum slept with someone else before and made it look like he was so experienced compared to Itae, Geum made it feel like their first time didn't mean as much to Geum as it was to Itae. Itae has also showed insecurity and being upset when the topic of Geum supposedly being with an Omega should happen. Itae gets upset about that it literally brings him down to run away and cry. The Alpha-Omega Destiny is low-key a sore spot to Itae, but Geum has always repeatedly squashed all that just to profess that he only has eyes for Itae.

Itae's not exactly dense. I'd rather categorize him as extremely spoilt rotten. He was given the privilege not to overthink about other matters, and not to exhaust his heart on external troubles. It's just that he puts enough heart to matters that really concern him (in other words, he puts his priority in matters between him and Geum, not matters like professional policies and such). Like, for example, he has nothing against adding Alphas and Omegas to the company because it's not like Geum is doing it because he's looking for a marriage candidate - the reason they're adding Alphas and Omegas is so they don't get in trouble with the labor law. But if someone, like a business spartner or whatever, were to present Geum a list of Omega partners, then Itae would have felt jealous and upset.

And I'd like to disagree with commenters who say that Itae doesn't feel like he loves Geum at all, or that he doesn't reciprocate, or that he just doesn't understand Geum's love because of his aloofness. It is EXACTLY because of Geum's overbearing and unwavering love that Itae is like that. Itae was so spoiled rotten because no one deserves to feel like they're being toyed around, Geum made that declaration to secure their relationship and Itae happily let's himself to be in that comfortable and secure private space with Geum.

Their relationship is so established to be monogamous and devoted that Itae really separated their romantic life from external forces. Itae sees no point letting other things bother them because Geum is so proactive in professing his love. What does Itae have to be jealous of when that is the kind of man you have? What you offer to reciprocate such unwavering love is to be loyal, and to pamper him. You can very much see how much Itae is sweet with Geum when they're alone and/or at home.

I don't mind seeing jealous Itae in the future chapters and all that, but I just want to specifically note that it won't be a 'new arc' or 'character development' per se, because Itae was already insecure before, and he has already exhibited jealousy. Itae's jealous scenes will be, however, a nice thing to read more because these two are so cute.

I'll just add too that the amnesia side story is probably the saddest one in this comedy manhwa. If it had been a more serious manhwa, things would have turned out differently because the way Geum acted was so cold, and the way he kept thinking in disbelief that he was obsessed with a Beta makes me think that if this side story was any nor elaborate, Geum would have really showed his disbelief in action and that he would have really pushed Itae away. Anyways, bless that this manhwa is a comedy.

Anyways, since we've seen the Omega pining for Itae, we'll probably gonna get another Omega or (a very likely possibility) an Alpha pining for Geum. Like a recessive alpha or something who can't help but he attracted to a dominant alpha lol. I think that would be really funny and Itae is probably gonna get confused with all those omegaverse dynamics that he just can't wrap his head around. I'm also low-key interested in seeing another Beta into the love arcs. Maybe a Beta chasing Geum? Or a Beta chasing Itae? Or Both? Either way, the short side stories are so cute and refreshing.