babao's Topics (131)

I normally write rambles and comments that are a bit more soft-toned and unbiased because I prefer taking care of my reading skills and being able to read critically but this... This chapter really hit a nerve. It pissed me off so much fuck.

"You thought of getting rid of me too," Yes, because Hyesung was raped and coerced. Would YOU want to keep a child conceived absent of love, more so AGAINST your autonomy? Literally, Hyesung's poverty was weaponized in making that contract. Your parents weren't even married, never even went through Hi Hello How are you first before conceiving you.

I knew it was eventually going to be brought up that Hyesung did abandon Byul, but he literally abandoned him as a baby in just a span of few months and went back, you know why?

Because Hyesung and Dojin was bonded even before forming a proper relationship. Because Hyesung knew first and foremost what it meant and how it felt to be abandoned and raised neglectfully.

Hyesung, who 1. Only knew he was an Omega after living his entire life as an alpha 2. Bonded without even understanding the implications and lifelong consequences and responsibilities of a bonding 3. Has not even figured out what he wants to do in his life, 4. Has lived his entire dogshit life being treated like a hopeless idiot with no future.

Hyesung was baby trapped in this family, bond trapped into this relationship. He was going to die if he never went back to Dojin, he never even had the money to live on his own and look after his health while Dojin could live in his wealth as a single father.

Let's not forget, Hyesung was enabled by Heeso to hide and run away. Hyesung was already so anxious and gullible, and running away felt right when someone enables him.

If I were a child in that circumstance, I could never blame my parents for never wanting me in the first place, but the fact that they owned it up, raised the child with all the love and support, how could I ever have the heart to hurt them? How could I ever hurt my gullible, vulnerable parent who has done everything to repent and be a better person each and every day?

"I know everything, that grandma abandoned you." I'm sorry but it was never just that. Hyesung was abandoned to an abusive father while that deadbeat hag left Hyesung to start a new family. It psychologically and emotionally STUNTED Hyesung to the point he was a street dolt, so fucking stupid he got scammed into sex work.

Comparing that hag to Hyesung who RETURNED, OWNED IT UP, AND ACTUALLY RAISED THE KID HE NEVER PLANNED? You won't easily see a rape victim raising their own child with genuine love. In fact, it's hard to critically see Hyesung be "in love" with Dojin when the majority of his attachment was because of the bond. If this wasn't omegaverse, Hyesung's feelings would've played out completely different.

Fuck this stupid ass rape apologist family. Money sure does fuck you up in the head! Hyesung spoiled him with too much love, and this brat thinks he's some hotshot know-it-all.

In the end, Byul will always be his father's child.

I hope Hyesung files a divorce (99% sure it's not gonna happen). I feel like throwing up in rage.

More Tiger and Kitty panels like the other story where the puppy is hugged by a big wolf. It was so cute seeing a small animal cuddle with a big one.

I just want to ramble.

From start to finish, this manhwa has never stopped delivering raw monologues and introspection.

One moment you see Ibeom pulling sensible remarks (like saying that Jungoh should go to a corporate job and use his degree; or like that time that Jungoh doesn't have to remember his memories anymore and Ibeom will just bury them as past dreams) then the next he's admitting that he hoped Jungoh was struggling even in just one aspect so Ibeom could be a "pillar" of stability. Because that's just how human relationships and the human mind really work sometimes.

For almost the entirety of the main story, Jungoh has always been the strongest force that broke a lot of hard and tall layers of insecurity and suspicion that Ibeom built around himself. Ibeom has grown so much because of Jungoh, and it's only natural for him to want to return that support and affection.

Even more so after he has actually hurt Jungoh with that Seedling incident. Ibeom feels like he could never reciprocate the same things Jungoh had given him, so now he just hopes that Jungoh struggles in some way. Ibeom wouldn't willingly ruin his life, it's just that greedy little hope of him that Jungoh's life is still "incomplete" that there's this little emptiness and space that Ibeom could fill all on his own.

It must hurt. Not just to Ibeom but also to Jungoh. The feeling that you can't just find the ideal and perfect middle ground because one way or another, partners don't exactly complete each other. Sometimes the things you can provide is something that the other person already has. It just comes down to what they want to choose more, what the feel more comfortable and happier with.

And honestly, sometimes communication really isn't a one size fits all. Feelings are volatile things, sometimes words can persuade them, sometimes it irritates them, sometimes it doesn't do anything. Even if Jungoh had said he was worried about being branded for nepotism and such, Ibeom finds it hard to sympathize Jungoh's worries because his feelings of self-deprecation surfaces more.

Ibeom just needs to realize that Jungoh doesn't need to struggle to choose him. Jungoh has always wanted to choose him over anything else. Sometimes you just have to realize that being chosen amongst the other available options could work better than being the last resort because it just shows how strongly your partner feels for you, trusts you, and relies on you.

I really felt my heart twist when Ibeom was just cursing himself and beating himself with those dialogues. He's still so in the dark with his own emotions, bottling it all up, and feeling frustrated he can't become any better than he is now. He's even more frustrated that he actually feels that way because it's so immature, ugly, and shameful.

Ibeom has never been a fixed shape in a specific part of a puzzle in Jungoh's life. He doesn't have to force himself to find where he should belong in Jungoh's life. I'd say Ibeom was more like the ocean to Jungoh's shores. Even if when he feels small, Jungoh has always been there, and even when he feels too much, Jungoh has never left even then.

May this kind of love find me what the hell

The art style was pretty nice... A good novel should pick this artist.

Or has the vibe been totally different ever since Jungoh lost his memories?

This isn't anything bad, by the way. I'm just impressed that there is definitely something different between Ibeom and Jungoh ever since that incident. I don't particularly want to say their relationship "matured" because there's definitely another appropriate word for the way their relationship shifted.

I'm guessing this is something even Jungoh comments wherein he can feel and see how Ibeom places distance between them. The affection is there, very much so, but it's nothing like how they were prior the amnesia arc. It's as if Ibeom's affections were "leashed".

(Just my thoughts) Seedling-Jungoh was from Ibeom's extensive and explosive innermost desires, and Ibeom manifested a Jungoh that mirrored what he knew then: mischievous, straightforward, a bit flirty, amiable, and someone who you could count on. Seedling was the next level, affectionate, passionate, and deeply obsessed and devoted - someone who would take great lengths if it means belonging with the person he endears the most.

Ever since that Seedling got out of hand and has actually physically harmed Jungoh, Ibeom has kept his emotions on a tighter leash. His affection with Jungoh now is so controlled, that when we had that Multiple Ibeom dream, it really showed just how conflicted Ibeom has been. He's further compartmentalized all his feelings to avoid ever bombarding all those emotions into Jungoh - to avoid manifesting another Nightmare Seedling.

It's like no matter how much Jungoh now is cooperating to rebuild their relationship, Ibeom is still walking on eggshells around Jungoh. Like he doesn't know how much affection and support he can give, and how much of the same he can get.

Writing all this just makes me remember Seedling and I got Attached. No joke, Seedling Arc really clawed through my heart and I pitied Seedling so much and low-key wished he stayed relevant in some way (that would be impossible).

I don't know. I just love this story and and the main couple and I like how their relationship has changed. They still hold each other dear, but it isn't the same as before at the same time. Maybe it's just me, but tbh this isn't something writers usually can achieve after an amnesia arc because people really do change after an amnesia - even if they do recover their memories later on. A whole other layer of psyche develops and surfaces that rewires the way you present yourself and how you manage your relationships.

I hope Ibeom gets to lead the relationship and move things forward, he looks like he really wants to take the next step with Jungoh and that he means it with all his heart.

It's so nice to see a lot of people commenting who used to hate on Hyesung sympathize him now especially after the Superstar c24 drop.

The idea that "Partners will love each other eventually" is a double-edged sword. What if your partner was your rapist who baby trapped you?

Hyesung never wanted that child, never wanted to live a dogshit life while being mentally dim and gullible, never wanted to stoop so low he was so blinded by material protection, stability and wealth that Dojin promised him if he kept the baby.

Hyesung might be living a happy married life now, but he was practically forced to love Dojin. There was no other way. He found affection while he was at the poorest and most vulnerable state, bonded without him even accepting and understanding he was an Omega yet, and even have a child before figuring out his life. Dojin made it almost impossible for Hyesung to live a normal life.

Yes, Hyesung was in Heat but Dojin literally stopped Hyesung and showed him that Hyesung was an Omega. Literally what kind of freak would strip a drunken/dazed person to show them they were "an omega". It's like telling a drunk woman she must be aroused just because she's just wet and proceeds to rape her. Dojin even fingered Hyesung just to prove a point, like what the fuck happened to Hi Hello How are you? Is he stupid or what.

Someone gotta shake Hyesung out of this nightmare and have him wake TF up and leave Dojin's ass.

So you just want him to remember how he was treated like dogshit: collared and chained to the wall, fed from a bowl, and slept on wood and haystack? Want him to go back to stuttering where he was anxious, insecure and hated every fibre of his existence and desperately sought for love, belongingness, and recognition?

Ponytail guy speaks the truth so bad someone gotta make him speak up to the prince. "He tried so hard not to kill me" Yeah buddy now tell that to the prince cus ur prince is now a rapist or whatever.

Ngl I wish Radan never recovers his memories, like the memories of having your entire life being abused... I'd probably be endlessly miserable if I suddenly remember my past. Like the freeing relief of having forgotten all that, I would hate myself for regaining my trauma when I could've stayed ignorant.

Anyways, looking forward to how the memories unravel. It's not gonna be a pretty sight to see.

After all the shit that Hyesung pulled in the first story, I always find it nice that Hyesung really grew well and parenthood changed him for the better. I will never hold it against him for abandoning a child he never wanted. If a woman was bribed with money to keep a child procreated not from love and matrimony, it's no better than rape.

As Byul grew up, even if someone would say Hyesung wasn't at fault and his actions held meaning, Hyesung still wanted to repent because, for himself, he found it unforgivable to do the same thing his parents did to him (abandoning their child). He felt that guilt and it fueled him to be a better person and a better parent.

Byul is, of course, his own person. He can do whatever he wants including meeting grandma because it wasn't like /he/ was the one abandoned. But the fact he hid it from Hyesung is something just so bitter. The fact that he and Dojin hid that meant they /knew/ it was a bad thing. They /knew/ Hyesung would never want or agree to that. They /knew/ it would /hurt/ Hyesung.

Byul, that was the very woman who abandoned /your mother / and she only returned when things settled for Hyesung. Your very mother who would always protect you and join you in your whims and crazy antics. Hyesung always babied Byul, he did everything motherly and patiently to Byul even if it spoilt him rotten because Hyesung knows exactly what it meant to grow up irrational, immature, selfish, and alone because he never had parents who loved him enough to raise him even if their own marriage and relationship fell apart.

I hope Hyesung never forgives them for that. I hate it even more that the grandma just enjoys all this shit without ever trying to beg to meet Hyesung. Like you all really plotted to have a happy side life without Hyesung. How low, it's like having a family group chat but having a second group chat but without one person.

Whatever man, I personally really hated the taste of that scene. Idgaf if you guys brought up the fact that Hyesung abandoned Byul as a baby too. I would never wish upon someone to be forced and bribed to keep a baby and be so helpless against the omegaverse fate of pheromones and bonding. Hyesung redeemed himself by becoming a supportive parent despite all his shortcomings and despite not being the brightest.

If this shit escalated to a storyline where Hyesung reconciles with that woman for 'Byul's sake' I'm gonna need to read a fanfiction where Hyesung kills himself and changes the trajectory of their lives /j. But on a serious note, I really hope it doesn't go down that path. Hyesung should never feel the need to forgive and reconcile with his deadbeat parents.

Everytime I think Dojin can't be that bad, I am just reminded this marriage exists he would continuously disrespect Hyesung and betray his trust.

I hope Hyesung never forgive them both.

Even if Byul never knew the whole story, the act of hiding the truth is enough to break Hyesung's heart and just sever the trust.

It's so painful to see the child you always protected and joined for any silly antics betray you this way.