Esme's Topics (138)

How does it end??

Uke is the only one that escapes, cuz they sacrificed themselves so he could live like what was the reason.

Nooo. The uke cannot defend himself and he is very self-destructive. He will most likely get captured or d13.

And the trauma he experienced too, who could live with that lmao??

He was already on the brink of borderline personality disorder

Hopefully he gets theraphy. He was the only one that survived

So in the end he's the only survivor?

Probably yes. I have no idea if the author will make a separate story to explain, but Uke is the only one that survived lmao..

How many chapters are left?

5 more, it has only 20 chapters

OH DAMN … thanks :((

Yikes! He survived all that shit to discover that he lost everything and need to start over. Just take him to the King. It's not like he's resilient. He may even get survivor's guilt.

The novel is soo well written, I love them both

Can you give me a copy of the novel?

https://lilyonthevalley.com/story/struggle/

Mannn, I'm broke hahahaha

All we can do is wait sadly, we in it together

Hoping someone will upload the epub in telegram hahha

Lmaoo probably not just wait a few days at least 14 chapters free

I waited from day one.. You can do it lol

Hope sooooo

Are you able to open the link? I am blocked for some reason.

That time, yes, but lemme check again.

Yep, i can access it.

Since I cannot access. I would like to ask what is the name of the novel? Is the novel in korean or english translated?

Thats so strange! The novel name is Struggle! I'm not sure if you can find it anywhere else other than lilyofthevalley

I just found it earlier. Indeed. Only on lilyofthevalley. I tried many times but cannot access and I have no idea why..... *depressed* lol

Maybe there's a restriction/s?

It's cloudfare blocked. Not sure why. Other sites no issue. Only lilyofthevalley cannot access. *sigh*

Also so funny to see Isac cry lmao keep doing that you little shit

yo wtff its dead over here...

please give me mercy author... I like him

I GOT BAITEDD THIS CANNOT BE TRUE. WDYM SEOL YEONG DOESNT GET FUCKEDD?? BROOK

Ummm, what fanart? For science purposes

https://x.com/annc8124/status/1932396621817651453?t=1_dvT4lRm9qCKCbE5a7i9g&s=19

https://x.com/annc8124/status/1938541655856128375?t=ODrF8S__5VJ6YWZYW-c5Jg&s=19
(Caught before they could even do it)

Lowkey made me realize how little there is but I eat it up anyway (or maybe Im blind) The artists be so afraid to make them actually fuck but not to making out wet aff sessions like what are you afraid of

He’s playing with our babygirl! ╥﹏╥

...Spoiler(?)
Its soo saddd pls give him a breakk!!! Amon even assigned priest guards that are really strong, cautious, good hearing–to watch Nain so he doesnt kill himself or somehow be harmed I dont even know how that would work since hes a 'god', but his guard/s genuinely think he's depressed and cannot be trusted alone

But why does he do that to Nain??

It still hasnt been clearly said so I still dont really know, sorry ( T﹏T ).. But for certain, Amon does not want Nain to remember his mortal life or go insane by all the human sacrifices he's seen LOL. (Theres a theory that was hinted in the story which Amon devoured Nain, yes. Like ATE him back when he was a mortal and then reborn as a god.. That could also be why, he doesnt want him remembering that??) Do not think my words are the real thing.. maybe in right maybe im wrong.., I am still actively reading so Idk im sorry!!!

The theory was right, Nain has dreams so vividly it has to be right,,.. what!!!?? Amon literally sacrificed Nain so he could follow him in the after-life/be a god. He was butchered up and stabbed while he was CONSCIOUS, as the priests ate him(DO NOT TRUST THE PRIEST OSSEN). Amon watched. Thats why it hurt Nains mind every single time he attented a bloody festival, BECAUSE HE TOO WAS SACRIFICED AND HAD HIS LIFE PUT TO THE SHA AMON, as Amon thrived seeing their blood shed as he did to Nain.... Ohhh.. Im ill... Please tell me this a big joke...

Saw someone say theres no angst before reading... HOW IS THIS NOT ANGST YOU LIAR YOU HAD ME FOOLED MY BABYGIRL IS SUFFERING AND YOU SAY THERES NO ANGST

Yikes, it sounds like this is going to be a stressful read. These new chapters already gave me a anxious feeling

save yourself... my heart is breaking into pieces for him (I say as I continue reading)

So that means there's no feelings whatsoever that amon has for nain that can be considered affectionate?? What about the pink haired guy??

I dont think its that, Amon loves Nain to the very least but hes so out of touch, and not ever connected with humanity or wordly affairs. I guess Amon can be praised because he holds back the urge of his nature to harm Nain.. He cant love even if he tried. The pink haired guy, gwen.. Im in what chap 97 but im still so bad at explaining?? Gwen absolutely likes maybe even loves Nain, he is devoted.. Gwen isnt trying to win Nain over or make him change his mind, but wanting to give him comfort and peace. Thats what I think. Even if Nain still loves Amon as much as it spites Gwen, he still warmly embraces Nain whenever hes having a bad mood or needs to be comfortable. I think thats really sweet, exactly what Nain needs ╥﹏╥ (sorry, I yap a lot)

Omg thank you so much for the spoilers and info, I need to embrace myself and DW about yapping! I could prefer reading it like this than reading 100 chapters low-key. If there more info pls share!

I read all of this, thank youuuuuuu

Thank you so much for sharing

Thank you thank you!!Im in chapter 99, and Nain is finally rebelling slightly. Not against Amon, but the priest Ossen, the one who drank his blood and stabbed him when he was used as sacrifice. I still dont know how far that priest went to hurt Nain but Im checking that out!!. It seems that the priest is the one that sees Nain as a tool, because of his memories that Amon wants dulled Osen is useful(Idk yet, but Amon has this favor with the priest Osen and maybe his family, so he wont take away his position for now? Mind you, that priest is a fucking crazy bastard. He is retirement age but refuses to pass down his title to his heirs. Hes crazy he loves seeing blood shed and suffering.) But since Nain asked for the rituals to be stopped, he now wants priest Osen gone!! And to reach that goal he acted sweet and warm. Smiling and trying so hard to appear no longer detached or gloom, so Amon would think hes happy and grant all his requests, Amon is actually softening too lol... Nains only request is to be taking down Priest Osen, but Amon still thinks hes useful so Nain thinks he wont grant it. Im so sad for my babygirl Nain because in his nightmares where he remebers his lost memories, he lost so many people dear to him, and tried to drown himself in the lake. Nain even started thinking, "Had I pretended everytime was fine and smiled warmly, would he have listened to me?" ITS SOO SADD I hope my explaining is doing this novel justice

I forgot to mention i dont think i ever did the priest Ossen handles the ritual and he like knows the materials to the incense

girl pls keep reading and just spoil everytjinh to me pls i beg i beg i beg thanks cutie mwa

Im not good at explaining and skipped a lot of parte sadly, Im sure the manhwa will explain perfectly and well so just wait!! Im doing my best to spoil you guys!! (Nains fanning guy, Lu, the guy in the first chapters became a Resha to get closer to Nain, but truly it was for Amon. Not in a loving way, but in a way a child admires. And with the way hes acting, wanting to be closer to Nain to enter the afterlife with him.. Yeah, somethings bad is gonna happen. Also also,, this is important I think!! There is dub-con or Idk non-con. When Nain first started remembering he had this nightmare of being sacrificed like I said! Unconsciously he ran out and digged at dirt raw until a fingernail came off. Amon was about to kill every bodyguard until Nain suggested. "Embrace me, I feel fear when you do so" i forgot but it was something like that. Nain was so stressed out +Amon put food inside his hole as punishment too and ate it.)

“It’s because I wish for emotions beyond simply being cherished and treasured by you—and for greater mercy.”

Though it was an impudent request to make to Sha Amon, he neither became angry nor dismissed his words. In fact, not just now, but always—Amon had never ignored anything Nyne said. And yet, he still never showed understanding or empathy.

Some quotes for you guys

The translator seemed to stop translating guys :(( It ended with a cliff hanger.. It was getting so tense and exciting too!!! (The priest Osen knows Nain is plotting something, so now hes planning to create more blooshed by doing a purification ritual under the pretense of killing all the people with a plague out of nowhere)

Nyne stopped, taking a deep breath. He needed the incense Osen Iyad had once brought—the kind that left you numb and thoughtless. If he grabbed any priest and asked to join the ritual, they’d bring it to him immediately. The temptation was overwhelming. He clung to Gwen.

“Gwen. Anything. Please—just make me stop thinking.”

(Putting the spicy time hinted aside, its so sad how Nain has gotten addicted to the ritual incense without realizing it give his heart a break :(( )

Wait nvm.. Last update was July 11. Idk their schedule but dont leave me hanging

I read the one at booktoki since I'm desperate to read the ending all i can say that aamon can go fuck himself!!! gwen and nain deserves so much better but nain's the one who's the most pitiful

Yes!!! But Nain keeps loving him like some of yall in your toxic relationships.. The repsentation lmao.. (Though I pity Amon lmao im pretty sure its 3P so Amon and Gwen can fight each other and leave Nain alone )

There's no 3P so far.. and I think it's not happening bc they're trying to kill each other lol I alr read the ending and imo it's so sad

NOOO WHATTT???? now im nervous but cant wait..

bye omw to read the raws on booktoki

HE DID WHAT??? ty b for saving me the mental fatigue of reading the torture parts, but I'll keep reading the spoilers

the ones on booktoki aren't completed too i checked on ridi and there's still side stories... I wanna know what happens after THAT ending dang

OMG THANKS YOU SO MUCH MWA MWA MWA MWA

guys... Amon has put Nain through so many loops/cycles.. I cannot believe this.. I genuinely thought Nain only lost his memories because of the rituals but Amon participated in it not by allowing it, but by RESTARTING NAIN COMPLETELY.. "Yes, it's better to start from the beginning again." SAID AMON IN THE MOMENT NAIN WAS HAVING A MELTDOWN.. Mom, I dont want to read this anymore.. Help me quit

The magic tool Gwen gave him to not loose his memories will save him right??? Right?..

Gwens pov came and OHH MY GOOODDDD HES A YEARNER HE TRULY ONLY EVER WANTED NAIN TO BE HAPPY AND NEVER BE FORCEFUL WITH HIM NAIN WAS SUFFERING FOR 500 YEARS MY GOD IMAGINE ALL THE PAINFUL MEMORIES..., AS HE KEEPS REMEMBERING HIS SANITY CRUMBLES IM DONNNEEEE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEASE

Nah don't quit, the what ifs will haunt you.

WHATS THE EBDING!!!??? SPOIL, PLEASE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BABYYY, i knew the priest was an asshole and now even worse. i just hope Amon replace him with his heir and hope he less crazy and good person. or even nain get revenge and kill him

IM SO HEART BROKEN AHHH :((( can i have nian ill make him happier

I'll let esme spoil the ending to you guys lol but it's very heartbreaking. I feel so bad for nain like he doesn't deserve all the stuff he went thru :((

Hahaha, im kidding. I shed a few tears but I am all talk no bite.. I love angst LMAOO

This this!!! Osen got what he deserved. He was someone who killed young people to make himself younger. Because of that, he lusted over Nains blood.. When Amon wanted to erase everything once again, restarting by killing all the Reshas and Gwen, Osen stopped the ritual by "If you give me your blood, it wont be too late to save them" AND NAIN DID BECAUSE HE WAS SO DESPERATE he threatened Amon he would kill himself since he had a dagger to his throat.. Amon stopped, and let gwen take him away to heal him, then Gwen "kidnapped" alongside Lu and his bodyguard whos name I forgot him LOL.. lmaoo but then Osens body started decaying and twisting itself, he was burning inside and out gor daring to try reach immortality by consuming Nains blood... (bad news, Nain is starting to remember the blissful memories he had with Amon. The stockholm syndrome is strong. Amon even ate a painting he made of him and ate it because he missed him, and since Gwen kidnapped him he couldnt sense his presence anymore, so he caused an earthquake )

He was just a soft-hearted babyhe loved everything so much my heart breaks for him

pls tell me him and gwen lived peacefully and happily in the end i will cry if kot DONT BE FOOLED NAIN GOD

CRAZY?? omg i know this manhwa will kill me ... GOSHHH

NAIN IS IN DEEPP BUT HES TRYING HIS BESTT AND LIVING A DOMESTIC LIFE WITH GWEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE IDK WHEN THE STORM WILL COME (Gwen is taking Nain to places hes never been to, the sea etc) AMON IS NOT A GOD BUT A DRAGON DEMON, DESPITE NOT KNOWING HOW TO LOVE HE GENUINELY DID TRY TO MAKE NAIN HAPPY FUCKKK SOMEONE HELP ME (In their first meeting, Nain thought he was a river god lmao.. They got close and Nain used to be a chatter box my shayla.. "I wish to live like that too, with servants waiting on me and having luxury" oh my sweet child it was just a thoughtless wish bro he was happy, despite being a commoner..—Amon gave him that until to the point suffocating OH MY GOOODDD) KILLMEEE

I know I will bawl my eyes out again but idc I need to see everything drawed

If there any new update PLEASE LET US KNOW! Do you think it's ending soon?

oh waht the hell

I still have 52 chapters to go..no seriously its breaking my heart into pieces I took a break from reading to read fluff

Ackakeke thank you for giving us all these details!!! Damn that cliffhanger I wanna know if Gwen is the 2nd ML. Nain suffered too much my heart hurts for him.

Npp!!!.I tried my best to explain clearly but I had so many shortcomings ╥﹏╥ but glad to let you guys know what to expect (Just wait for the manhwa chapters It'll sting worse seeing everything drawed)...

I love you, thanks for taking the time to write all of that. I’m hoping for more development between Nain and the pink haired guy. Being with Amon guy feels like it’s going to be such a painful and pitiful life for Nain tbh. Even if Amon changes a bit for the better, it couldn’t remove what happened and what they did.

Thank you for all the spoilers!!

Omg! Thank you so much for the spoilers!! There aren’t any anywhere, you’re the only bliss here, thank you so much!!!

Please take breaks! if its too much take breaks and read fluff from the pain!! WE NEED UU

dont make me cocky The story has been kinda slow tbh, the calm before the store?? Since Gwen and Nain have been hiding in the lybranyth(I forgot how to spell it, the wizard lybrary) They have gotten so close and intimate!! Nain is remembering more and more of his past, his real hometown, and stuff. But despite feeling the past emotions so vividly, he is trying so hard to let go for Gwen. They are literally calling each other their lovers. Dont fail me translator. Honestly, be prepared for a long ride of modern settings, its all Im reading bcs Gwen is giving a tour around the lybranyth. Since Gwen isnt of the original timeline, as well of other mages, they brought alot of modern settings like food,etc.. Im not really liking it since its that kind of thing of "Historical settings ppl are astonished by modern food." But its just me!! ITS TOO DOMESTIC, Amon come out.. Spice things up now.. (Oh, but everybody.. you guys need to know how much a loverboy Gwen is.. Their love towards each other is so sweet Im throwing up. He loves and respects Nain so much, with every choice he asks of him he will do. Even if its going back to Amon, he promised he would listen and do it.)

The calm before the storm**.. My autocorrect.

OMFGG AAAA PLS LET NAIN AND GWEN BE ENDGAME I BEG I BEG I BEG I BEG also thank u so much for thisss i really appreciate you writing all this stuff

FEAR.... GWEN IS SO CUTEEE AGGGGHHHHHHH

The way my heart jumped out of my chest. So it's only downhill from here? Oh god

This is insane after reading this get yourself a sweet treat

I read the entire novel and was left confused with the ending. I feel hollow and numb and nothing matters anymore I feel like there’s a lot more to be uncovered with the last chapter but Nain has gone through so much our poor boy

The stress I’m gonna get from this is gonna take years off my life

Did u read the side story's where did u find them pllz

Idk where u are in ur reading but amon pov will be shown, what are ur thoughts if u read it

I forgot about this Icl.. So sorry I took a break from reading because I couldn't handle the angs, my heart is weakt!!! The flashbacks to Nains mortal life hurt me soo badd I needed a break.. because how can you willingly say you "love""(acknowledged him as ur mate) him but dont stop your priests from destroying/killing his hometown and the people in it(?).. dont piss me off amon

or I hope I didn't forget but that's how it went. Even if he didn't know, you cannot be a lacking God and let them be fucking tyrants to kill whoever they see fit. To even be his mates hometown. (Mind you it happened after Nain upset Amon so I'm now thinking maybe he sent them there to corner Nain.. man I just might as well go back to reading.m) ngl it pissed me off omfgg

Well that's just

After nice flash-back we see amon flashback and u are misunderstanding him too like omg it's funny u are thinking the same way nine though he thought amon send them but amon didn't amon
Also nine exaggerate a lot, after what happened to nine he got killed so amon saved him and he brought him back to life , nine wasn't grateful to him , also amon got all the bad people that killed his family and friends and took them to nine to revenge on them but nine got mad at him. Like therr is no helping it here nine is a child and thinks like a child it's not like he is a mature human with many human experience to handle and teach his dragon mate , also u say u love someone then u doubt them nine is the human here he doesn't communicate with his dragon, amon on the other hand is a dragon he doesn't communicate by nature but if nine tried he would reciprocate

Oh wow, I did not get that far yet! (Like I said, I'm still reading so don't think my words are for certain ) They're both lost causes sigh

Now that I think about it, Isnt it justified for Nain to act like a "child"? He was only 18 so he didn't have a damn clue about the godly affairs or whatever.. Bro was 400+ years old and thought he was in his twenties. Soo? Is that not justified, he never knew how to navigate his feelings and neither did Amon lmao couples theraphy when?

I think it got cut out–Thanks for telling me Akari

Welcome, well I dont blame nine or anything it's more so the evil people he was with that made it so he never grow as a human and and she for amon he is a dragon he doesn't care nore get close to anyone besides his mate , evil dreaddy priest are the one to blame

I agree, that priest deserved what was coming to him. They both deserved their happy story icl