
If gang finds out I unironically read and enjoy shit like this, I’ll self-crucify.

You just need to get old enough not to care if others find out. As an adult, as long as both parties agree, neither are doing anything wrong as long as they aren't bringing others into their business. And if you don't have a partner, then it is a preference like no other. If someone can admit to having a foot fetish, then this is no less odd.
It's kind of why I hate Fifty Shades because it really isn't BDSM. Dude made a contract or didn't explain certain terms of it to his sub and broke it a lot. If you haven't read it yet, Nana to Kaoru is a soft BDSM manga and a great example of what the relationship looks like. Just don't go for the live action. Big fumble.
We can BL jumpscare before GTA 6!!! (Overdone meme but still applies)