type shi's Topics (555)

ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ ha ha ha actually I just wonder why there is no cam in the uni class since l littary saw one in my class today (〜￣△￣)〜

I mean he wasn’t actually sleeping but still CONSENT chat

Well, he consented nonverbally considering he knows what’s happening while pretending to sleep lol

Also, he’s extra handsome today what’s up with that?

Sleeping people don't want tea

@Baizhu I keep seeing ppl discussing this topic and I definitely think differently in regards to significant others. In MY experience and personal opinion unless we have a discussion stating no touching while sleeping all bets are off. I will sucx dat bone until it melts in my mouth. Lol! And I definitely don't mind receiving head/sex while sleeping while in a relationship. It's hot/sexy to be woken up busssn a nuut/cummn. The only thing that would piss me off are face shots while sleeping. But that has been communicated so nothing for me to worry about.

What people need to understand is that each relationship is different based on INDIVIDUAL experiences. Everyone doesn't have those kind of bad/traumatic sexual/relationship experiences. And to generalize and automatically equate it r@pe is ridiculous to me. Also, I've had this discussion with others and most have also communicated it's based on direct/indirect individual experiences. In relationships things aren't all black and white. There are a lot of different variations especially when it comes to kinks and turn ons. But most importantly when beginning a relationship it's important to communicate likes, dislikes, traumas and fears so there can be fewer misunderstandings and altercations. We all can agree that communication is definitely key. Some give me the impression they have no dating experience based on some of these comments/posts.

Also, for those feel the need to come for me because I spoke my mind ┑(￣Д ￣)┍ I ain't backing down on this. I really believe someone ran an agenda because of their bad/traumatic sexual experiences and started venting. Then ppl jumped on the band wagon so not to appear weird or out of compassion. But what's not cool is trying to create a hive mind.

I LOVE being strange/weird/different. I was never good with clicks or hive minded groups. If no one agrees with me thats okay. I make no apologies on who I am or thinking differently. What people think of me is none of my business ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

And for those who are too afraid to speak on this subject, don't be. Just have a conversation with your s/o if you have one. You never know what may appear weird/strange may not be a deal breaker.

This was only a different perspective based on your post. ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

I agree with what you're saying wholeheartedly
thanks for writing this and articulating it so much better than I can

It's cool if this is how you and your partner want to operate but the default should be no sexual touching while sleeping or unconscious unless everyone's clearly consented, even with significant others. So yes if that conversation hasn't happened it is rape -- by law, not just personal experience-- and I think that's what people are reacting to. We definitely haven't seen these two discuss this so from a reader's perspective it's not consensual and even if dude is ok with it on the inside, Gunjoon doesn't know that so he shouldn't do what he's doing

or communicate w ur partner if they like that stuff
probably gonna come up when discussing sex anyway

I completely agree with what you said !! I just forgot to mention in my previous comment that they should communicate first before doing this sorry. But then if they’re all okay with it that’s good.

I don’t mind it too LOL but yeah communication is def top priority (which I forgot to mention so it lead to all the replies sorry again TT)

Please, don't overthink it.. They are both freaks they obviously don't mind (not real people tho or sum)

girl what... no answer also means no, whether he knew or not, because what if he was actually asleep ?

girl if you and your s/o explicitly stated they were okay with it, that's cute(not that i really understand PERSONALLY because you can't express your consent or not and idk it turns me off to do stuff with some1 unconscious) but if no agreement or discussion, like in this story, about it, that's not consensual and yeah that should be talked about, no matter how hot it is.. it's basically like your s/o taking your card without telling you to go buy groceries and coming back as if nothing happened without ever asking you if you were okay with it or not

“No means no” did he say no? It’s not up to you to order other people’s relationship. For you to dictate what other people should do in their own relationships just to suit your preference when you’re not even a part of it is extremely weird and controlling. If you’re like this demanding and controlling to people’s relationship that you’re not involved in, you’re hella dangerous on your own relationships then.

At the end of the day, a healthy relationship knows the limits of one another because they are their own partners. If my boyfriend does touches me while I’m asleep and I liked it, Imma smack your head off if you order me and my boyfriend around on what to do and feel on our relationship. That’s how it goes.

reading skills omg, i said "no ANSWER means no". i actually don't care as long it has been discussed beforehand and not assumed and girl idk you're weird af because i never ordered you to stop your somnophilic tendencies- we all have our owns fantaisies, kinks etc.. love that for you my issue is just how it was approached in the story as no form of consent has been said, even WORSE, the mc asking himself if it's correct to do that without knowing how ml feels about it ! :) i could actually say to you the same
, the boundaries you are setting for yourself and your significant other are in no means a norm that should be applied to anyone else other than you two, even more on such controversial subjects like this ! classless behavior i'm screaming

Kunty, sweetie u should calm down... It's fiction, no big deal to stress over.

It's important to pay attention to how issues around consent are presented in pop culture because that contributes to normalizing certain things, including toxic or abusive behaviours

Surprisingly, it only affects naive people like you. Fiction has a distinguished line between it and reality. If you let fiction affect your reality, you should stop reading then.

We’re no longer in 18th century ffs, is your mindset still on that era?

So why are you screaming your own morals to us and forcing us to believe and follow your orders lmao

my morals being he should've asked him beforehand he was okay with being touched in his sleep ??

girl don't worry tbh the only thing wrong is how the story tackled that issue, especially in this context (with the Gisèle Pelicot trials and other examples). i don't think we should settle any less for fictional as it is one of the best ways if not to set norms and that shouldn't be normalized

are you living on the same earth as us ?.. you know DAMN WELL most of the readers of new generations of medias are teens/young adults, for who the brain isn't fully developed (and some kids too but i blame the parents for that). this & dark "romance" are literally in VOGUE rn and we already see a LOT of people romantizing and normalizing toxic behaviors, the main one being dubious consent.
and now tell me if, like, ~85% of the stories one reads are portraying dubious consent, don't you think it won't affect the psyché of them ? (spoiler, YES it does affect) if the behavior is not talked about, well yes, they will be more keen to normalize it.

btw NOTE that our issue is the lack of communication and approval of it before the act and not the act by itself, because it seems like you think i am judging you for your fantaisies and im pretty sure i already told you you do you aslong as it's consensual for both parties. if i'm considered as toxic for saying you should ask your partner if he's okay with receiving head while he is sleeping and unconscious before doing it, well i'll gladly take that role !

That is specific to your relationships and those who think like you making more of an issue than it should be. I stand by my comment, period. No issue in getting or receiving head in no capacity. If you are sensitive to that then YOU should impress those ideals/perspectives on your partners. All relationships are not formed/built equally and therefore people should definitely quite telling people how to navigate their relationships. NOW making suggestions in YOUR opinions is okay. People need to respect others perspectives/experiences. But making people who are in valid healthy relationships seem wrong/toxic based on YOUR values is utterly ridiculous. When in relationships you learn and gradually get a feel for what can and cannot be done. It won't be rainbows and bunnies from the get go even with communication there will be turbulence which with communication can get better. But some of these people with these unrealistic thoughts on these fantastically perfect relationships is concerning. But I digress smh. Not changing one thing I said before and now. It is what it is. ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

Yes, because who are you to make our relationship based on your morals

This is what she doesn’t get. She keeps saying that her morals should be the default of all relationships. No shit sherlock, that’s very manipulative and controlling.I already know that she hasn’t been in one relationship or her relationships were unhealthy as fuck bcs she’s too controlling.

What you're describing is specific to your relationship and that's fine. Other people may have the same understanding with their partner as you do, which is also fine because it's a mutual agreement. What I'm saying is people need to have those conversations before engaging sexually with a sleeping or unconscious partner because otherwise it's sexual assault. You can disagree with that if you want but it's literally the law, at least across most if not all of North America. But I would argue that even setting aside the law, the moral thing to do is check with your partner beforehand. I genuinely don't see why anyone would be against that

Because we have our own lives and opinions so your own morals should be pushed towards us. It’s like you’re my friend and I told you that I loved how my boyfriend touched me sensually while I was pretending to be asleep and you screamed to us about your own morals and shouted how we should follow your own rules.

Our relationship should follow our own rules because it is OUR RELATIONSHIPS. If I loved it, you have nothing to say about it. If the seme loved it, why are you pushing that he shouldn’t love it and the uke should feel guilty. THE SEME FUCKING LIKED IT. If the people involved loved the act, WHY ARE YOU FORCING US NOT TO LIKE IT. Who are you to order people what they should feel in their own relationships?

I said five million times it's ok if you like it so clearly reading comprehension isn't your strong suit. I literally dgaf what your kinks are, that's your business. My point is just that people have to openly and clearly consent before any kind of sexual contact.

I get your point, I really do! But it's a bit pointless to argue over and over when nobody wants to indulge in it or even acknowledge it. Save your yourselve the time, sweetie :(( It's great you care so much, really! But in this era, if it's fictional it's seen as trivial. Although it is.. but still shouldn't be normalized, you're right. Some people just want to live in that world calmly without harming real people yk?. So hopefully you understand, you can clearly put this much time and effort into other things, I can tell you're doing great!! Mean no harm in saying this, kunty!! ::,)

There is nothing wrong with asking. However while in a relationship stop turning private intimacy into sexual assault and rape. Y'all are very ridiculous and extra. If your s/o touching you in your sleep will trigger you say something. If not don't listen to these ridiculous rants about so called dubious consent especially if your in a healthy relationship learning each other's freaks/fetishes. Every, fkn thing isn't rape and sexual assault. And to spread fear is just as bad and ridiculous. Relationship require some spontaneity. And it can be fun learning each other. All this bs on the so called legal this and law this is ridiculous. Before spouting nonsense about legal and law this find and read the facts of EACH case subject not just run away with a small truth. There are always circumstances in those types of situations duh. Wrong/right person. For those who will be triggered on this subject communicate this with potential lovers. The rest live your lives as you please. Put your pitch forks and torches away saving them for your own little strict boring world. I refuse to allow small minded ppl to dictate how I have fun. And I hope people stop letting ppl in these post mold living life. We live we learn. Period. Your morals are your own so stop trying to impress your values of what you think is right or wrong on other's. Your experiences and upbringing will be very different from others based on religions, culture, locations, environment, etc. Most law's are created based pretty much on the same. So stop with your self righteous nonsense. I'm very strong in my mindset, etc. Not at all very impressionable like some of these readers. The experiences I've been through give me first hand knowledge of rape and sexual assault and y'all need to cut it out. That is specific to you and your experiences/relationship if you've actually had them. I really wish ppl would stop pushing this agenda that everything is either sexual assault or rape. Smdh. （/TДT)/

my morals being to ask for consent before engaging in sexual activities.. your behavior is weird girl

am i the "she" in question ho ? you're doing too much and you need to stop assuming shit, that's what gets you beat up ! i ain't the toxic one when i say communication is mandatory ESPECIALLY about sexual fantaisies. basically you're telling me if your bf tomorrow is into knife play and without asking you he slices your arm, you would be taking it like a good bitch ? that's fucked up you say i shouldn't force my morals on others, the same way you shouldn't force and assume your fantaisies on others, and as i said, aslong you know they are cool with it, it's not an issue !! it just has be known and discussed PERIOD.

and fyi, me not wanting to touch/get touched by my s/o or any of my hookups had no impact whatsoever in my dating life i'm not manipulative nor controlling for saying you shouldn't motivate people by saying you should go touch/fuck/wtv in their sleep anyone without their consent. you're literally doing the same thing you're saying i'm doing except you're validating rape apologists ! ts not cute

girl dw i have a life outside of this, it just irks me out how they trying to make the bad guy when all i said is "ask before doing something that involves someone else", like that's a basic step of education

Ohh okayy, and yup u are right so pay no mind to other people!! Sending love and hugs!!

I totally agree with you - asking for consent shouldn't be something we even have to debate. I'm gonna tap out of this thread though because that other person keeps defending literal SA and I don't think they're ever gonna get it. Good luck!

Agreee

Yes pleaseeee