
Since he has a pretty damaged childhood, it may be hard for him to recognize his feeling and regard as attraction and love.
It is just damning that maybe he is attracted because Mo, feels, what he could not - PAIN.
And, She Li gets off seeing he can inflict the same pain to Mo and ticked off seeing he is happy.
It was the perfect monologue, straightly realistic and stripped of the superficiality in yaoi world.