poor baby, he was never going to be free when he's so full of trauma. and you really cant heal in the environment you got hurt. even if the ending is just a hallucination, its an anxiety that will probably never leave him ughhhh he was such a cute kid too im so sad
it's so true in my experience that for some people just one person/thing is special enough to love unconditionally above all else and for others multiple things are of utmost importance. tldr - andrew is just like my ex
i remember my ex saying to me when i was busy with other things that although he respects that i have other priorities it was a shame he's not the most important one because i was his. it was lowk deep cause he was right and i assumed that meant i didn't like him enough or as much as he liked me at least. that was basically why we broke up too, i didn't want to make him feel lonely in a relationship ya know. andrew's monologue slapped me with flashbacks of this time period.
this conflict of interest is hitting real close to home maybe itll help me understand how people get past this difference in personality and perspective ╥﹏╥
i honestly have no idea whats going on for certain so im gonna drop my assumptions/theories for a few things
1) the only significance of the casino is a representation of shiraishi-sans unrequited love for his boss (jae in?). it's not actually essential to the gang, its a personal desire to make his boss proud.
2) im also gonna assume yuta and shiraishi-san had a relationship where yuta had his own unrequited love for shiraishi-san while he was a prostitute and yuta got abandoned (prolly a misunderstanding) and is taking his anger out in the form of leveraging the casino. basically, i don't think shiraishi-san actually did anything to yuta, yuta just feels betrayed.
3) they both rape eachother at various circumstances to feel like they're the superior/the one in control but deep down they care about eachother and are just scared of being vulnerable. plus neither actually wins cause neither of them really enjoyed fucking for those old people in this "family".
4) i also assume shiraishi-sans internalised homophobia is both cause he's a gang member (which is hella macho and antihomo) AND his anger at the fact he couldn't act on his love for his boss. So hes refusing to accept the truth - denial is a river in egypt and he's gay.
i don't know if this is accurate info but its what makes the most sense to me? i guess ill find out but i actually am enjoying the plot when i read based on these theories, like i dont think its bad, there's just a few fill in the blank spots ya know. holy yap. thanks for reading (￣∇￣")
so he has to sleep with someone as a substitute for his husband but also cant jack off cause that's disloyal and should only have feelings for the guy he's never seen before not the guy he fucks every night. well when in rome do as the romans do... ╮(￣▽￣)╭
mom im scared i feel like this story is gonna end with me in tears
having to watch your own people being violated as children both sexually and through neglect and abuse over such a long period of time whilst knowing you've devoted your entire life and faith to the system caused it? then kill your best friend who is like your sibling and suffered just like you only for him to be literally ripped to pieces by the people you protect? whilst those same people debate whether you're a demon they need to attack?
ill take whatever the other option is, i could never be you elva you poor soul ╥﹏╥
haewon needs a break bro. neglected by his family, busy at work and a rebellious boyfriend. get this man a cig. also as much as i sympathise with yunhos struggle for independence and with his feelings, haewon has been nothing but good to him so he needs to chill out a lil bit after all he's already clearly the most important person in his life. (〜￣△￣)〜
woowon clocking the codependency and tryna fix it was not on my bingo card, maybe it's a good thing seoan was brutally blunt cause woowon is finally ready to do something about his problems. i hope seoan doesn't get worse without ww though (〜￣△￣)〜
revenge arc when?? i need to see jaeha getting that chief dan hiroki punishment asap ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ