the moment i saw donald na, i was already intrigued. his character design was absolutely perfect. i got intimidated when i saw him. it’s amazing how he had an effect which he desperately wanted people to feel. to be seen as strong, someone who instilled fear. he was an enigma. i could not understand what drove him. but as the story progressed, it became evident that it was obsession. when i found out that the reason on the last chapters, i completely broke down.
he was just a child. even until now. he’s 18 in korean age but technically, he’s just 17. not even an adult. he was just someone who desperately tried to escape his shitty environment. he saw how cruel the world is at a young age. he was just trying to survive.
i can never hate him because he is like a mirror of gray, my favorite character. they both lost someone who was their motivation and ended up fighting to change their situation. the only difference is, gray was able to find a new support system, and donald didn’t. gray was able to find friends who are likeminded and are on the same “level” as him. heck, he even had ben who he looked up to. donald had confidants and subordinates. but he’s still someone being looked up to. his position was on top, which is really lonely on its own. even when he was surrounded by many people, it’s just like before, he had to shoulder the responsibility. i’d like to think that donald na’s fate would be like gray’s if he was alone.
i’m really sad because since his life was lonely- a stray dog, he only knew one thing. to keep on going. no one to teach him how to not succumb to it. that’s why his motivation- his obsession lead to his end. he wanted to be strong, and he was able to do so, but people thought he’s different from everyone. he’s someone they could not reach. thus, he kept on going through that lonely road. he could not stop anymore. he needed someone to stop him. he wanted it to be gray who was similar to him, someone who could have understood him.
it’s really bittersweet but i am actually glad that he was able to maintain the image he worked hard for. unbeatable.
rest in peace donald na, you’re an amazing character.
i gotta let this marinate for a while