Silphi's Topics (525)

Srsly confidence is more important than looks. I’ve had my weight go up and down bc of medications. While smaller or larger I found that if I appeared confident I didn’t have a problem getting partners. I try not to worry about the appearance of others and I’ve had boyfriends who weren’t conventionally attractive and ones who were super hot. My first love was not conventionally attractive. He’d had his nose broken multiple times fighting and had gone from super built to overweight bc of bipolar meds. So he had that thicc look that muscley guys who gain weight get. Even though he wasn’t hot girls loved him. He dumped me for a hotter girl. The next guy I fell in love with was beautiful. I dumped a guy who looked like a model for him. I was probably about 50lbs overweight at the time bc of meds I was on. But he loved me. My face has always been more cute then beautiful too. My ex literally had girls throwing themselves at him but I never worried about him cheating on me. There was a pretty girl who shared a laundry room with him in his apts and who’d fold his laundry and “accidentally” get her sexy underwear mixed up with his clothes. After I had a baby a hot chick used to hit on him whole I was in our room nursing our baby. My friends would get mad on my behalf and ask why I didn’t care, I told them I knew he wasn’t stupid enough to cheat on me. In fact I’m the one who left him. He was my teenage ideal with long hair and a lanky frame but he was a dick. My point being that looks aren’t actually that big a deal irl. Guys are visual and they like looking at hot girls but they also find more body types then you might think attractive. I have a much older cousin who was not pretty in the slightest. She was older with teenage kids and she was overweight. But every time I saw her she’d have a hot young bf. I realized one day talking to her that she appeared beautiful bc of this inner glow. Even if you aren’t confident you can fake it till you feel it. I’ve suffered from body dysmorphia since I was 13, I've had eating disorder and my weight would be all over the place. But I acted as if I was confident and it drew ppl to me. Friends and boyfriends. I’ve even had hot girls hit on me and I experimented with them. In the end I realized that I didn’t have to be the hot girl in the room to have a partner. Trust me on this. I used to be really easy and even did sex work, I never had a problem finding sex and relationships. My biggest issue was finding someone I could actually love but my tastes are twisted and I don’t fall in love easily. So work with what you have. Find a style, haircut, hair color, etc. that makes you feel good about yourself; carry yourself in the world like you are a super star. I also found makeup to be a great way of almost putting on a mask of confidence. It made me feel prettier which helped me feel more confident in social situations. It takes practice especially if your like myself, naturally shy. But if you have something you’re good at, use your confidence in that as a start. I was always good at art and video games and had confidence in those things. Although truth be told a lot of guys will be assholes if your better at things then they are. I’m contrarian & prideful so I refused to ever downplay my abilities or intelligence to get a guy to like me. So I’ve often turned guys off by being better at things or smarter then them. But I also don’t like weak guys. It at least guys who are weak when it comes to a girl being better then them. If you look around you’ll know it’s true. You’ll see plenty of ppl who aren’t conventionally attractive with boyfriends and girlfriends. Don’t obsess over how you look. In the end looks are only mean so much. I’ve known very attractive ppl who had a hard time finding partners bc of their lack of confidence. I hope some of what I’ve said helps you. Beauty really is at the determinative factor to finding love.

Ikr (╯°Д °)╯╧╧

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same