ok but they should’ve thought more about their age difference or how they would fall in love in the past i mean why would a 13 year old boy fall for a 6 year old child? ☠
it makes no fcking sense for dan to fall in love with jaekyung first, but it would kinda make sense if jaekyung were the first one to get attached
i don’t understand why the author chose to make it like that fr it’s so unnatural
“i never imagined i’d ever mean that much to him” oh dan…. wake up baby…..
Hewwo and welcome! ₍₍ ( ๑˃◡ ˂๑)◞♡
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BL only!!!
= triggers (do expect violence, too bothersome to put)
abuse: could be physical, mental, verbal, sexual etc.
= my rating
(5=absolute fav, 4=very noice, 3=goodie, 2=meh, 1=nah)
= mayb +1 star
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Get ready for some psychologically draining and
emotionally terrible manga!
ok i'm so confused... the spirit is of course a fckng red flag but I don't think sunbae is going to be hanjoo's endgame after the last two chapters (with hanjoo linking him to painful experiences). but i also can't see hanjoo ending up alone, so…
well, my theory is that it will be a somewhat bittersweet ending. so far hanjoo seems to be immersed in a sea of illusions created by the spirit (he doesn't remember many painful facts from his own life and practically survives in a parallel reality to others, besides being somewhat unexpressive, as if he had no contact with his own feelings despite everything). i think the endpoint will be hanjoo breaking free from this bubble and finally remembering everything about his own life, the traumas involving his aunt, father, and the people around him, when he got lost in the forest, and the abandonments. at some point after this he will have to make a choice: to live in reality (represented by sunbae and the sun on the cover), but experiencing all the horrible feelings and emotions that have not directly affected him so far, or to live in fantasy (represented by the spirit at night), in this limbo where he doenst remember almost anything. and honestly i think hanjoo will choose to continue living in the illusion manipulated by the spirit because his reality will be too painful to bear
ps: i think that's why sunbae is a mix of someone cruel and good to hanjoo, he represents the real world in hanjoo's life. it causes pain but it's what hanjoo is used to feeling, he accepts what his life brings him. at the same time, the stepbro/spirit is the representation of this illusory world where hanjoo feels no pain, but it's just a mask — deep down, the cruelty is still there, just disguised as care and love. that's also why during the sex hanjoo kept thinking "i need to remember something" "this should be hurting" etc etc because that's it: he knows deep in his mind that his life should cause pain, he's aware of it, but he can't feel the pain and discomfort because he's living in the fantasy that the spirit created for him, so all that's left for him is this strange sensation of not suffering and that would explain why he would have to make a choice at the end of the story between them
i love the transitions between the panels in this manhwa (like the one showing the pictures taken of hakyunh and yoosung's thumb). i also love how the author managed to come up with small events that add sm tension to a plot that could’ve had a simple development in the hands of other writers. so amazing!
that moment when a fcking demon cares more about baby hanjoo than his own sunbae. i mean, the way the stepbro hesitated to go all the way with penetration so as not to scare hanjoo, how he respected the request not to add another finger saying "not yet? alright", how he bit his own lip until it bled just to stay conscious and protect hanjoo, and then the cute way he blushed at the end with the most adorable face in the world ): i can't blame hanjoo for having a racing heart, he's really learning for the first time what it's like to have some delicious sex (he even cum, what?, two times already (▰˘◡˘▰))
what annoys me the most in this story isn't just that the mc is a rapist, not to mention all the violence portrayed so far (even tho i think we've moved past the time when the main couple's drama and obstacle in bls are the same as aggression. seriously, don't authors have more creativity these days to create more complex characters and different dramas than this disgusting basic stuff?) BUT ANYWAY what's really pissing me off is the audacity this author had to make dan fall in love first. i expected AT LEAST to see jaekyung chasing after him, being gentler in bed, doing things that show care, struggling with himself about the unknown feelings, and THEN dan starting to see him differently. i was genuinely willing to overlook the initial abuse if the emotional connection began after jaekyung initiated the redemption process, but no. this author managed to turn sexual abuse into SEXUAL PLEASURE; she really made dan emotionally attached by starting to enjoy the violent sex that jaekyung forces him to have. it's not just absurd, it's idiocy. she could put in more effort to make the emotional bond seem even remotely convincing and less like a romanticization of abuse and emotional dependency between victim and aggressor
this is the second time jaekyung cums right after the surprise moment of dan hugging him or am i crazy
i know he's a demon but ignoring *this insignificant little detail*, i'm so happy for my baby hanjoo to be having his first truly pleasurable sexual experience ): his thoughts are so painful, i mean he's so prepared for pain and suddenly surprised that he doesn't feel anything bad at all… it’s the first time he's being treated as the main focus of sex so thank you mr demon ╥﹏╥
please please please dont tell me jaekyung and heesung are going to do something together with dan PLEASE
omg i love dohwa sm but i love eunhyuk sm as well IM SO SAD please cant they just form a triad a throuple or whatever for fcks sake┗( T﹏T )┛
i don't know what's happening with the author of this manhwa, leaving so many gaps between the chapters…. it's not the first time a chapter starts completely differently from how the previous one ended (there was this one when sooae found out that eunhyuk’a dad had a lover and we never found out how she discovered that except for a single out of context scene that showed her seeing him with another woman)
anyway im really enjoying the love triangle but there are so many things that still confuse me ): even though the bus accident involving sooae and eunhyuk happened, i think her sudden and seemingly random fear of being near him a bit nonsensical. its also so heartbroken for me seeing dohwa being left aside because, between both guys, he's the one who captured my heart ): the thing about sooae having a connection to that book also leaves me quite confused, because????? she doesn't even seem to be doing anything related to the book lol anyway i really like the manhwa but there are so many pieces of information that seem out of context and without proper explanation (but I keep reading and having love filled outbursts due to the romance lol)
i feel so frustrated that the author poorly developed dan's feelings for jaekyung. from the beginning dan makes it clear that he has a sensitive issue with sexuality due to that incident with his ex professor’s (or boss?) abuse attempt. and jaekyung represents all that violence. dan literally trembled with fear just being near him because of all the violence. and now, the author is using the sexual pleasure that dan has LEARNED to feel as a way to justify transforming his feelings towards jaekyung into love. meanwhile, heesung is there, representing everything dan never had with anyone except his grandmother: giving him gifts, showering him with words of affirmation, and seeming like the type of person willing to take time out of his day to visit someone he cares about. ofc he's way too emotional hahah but he’s still a promise of a loving boyfriend who brings security and comfort. but ofc even though that's everything dan needs and logically would appreciate in someone, he won't fall for him; instead, he'll fall for the guy who embodies all the violence he endured from both professor/boss and those gangsters :) how nice :)
I wanted heesung dating dan ofc cause he’s soooo green flag, but since i know thats not happening: IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF HEESUNG AND POTATO BEING A COUPLE OMG i love the cliche where the character falls in love with someone who is different from what they usually feel attracted to, and after heesung called potato ugly (CRAZY???) i immediately started to ship them just because we already know that he is kinda obsessed with pretty people and falls in love easily with them hahaha
i cant even feel hopeful about jaekyung being jealous cause he's definitely the type who forces sex during jealousy to teach the other a lesson about belonging only to him but the other guy is SO DAMN PRETTY FCK