vagabond's Topics (20)

That seme's getting really good at playing this game!
They remind me of a Harada couple who are into role-play and happen to be one of the healthiest, most interesting and fun relationships I've seen in yaoi.

Yuu is really cool.

Sweet indeed. Beautiful art.

because then, according to his fucked up logic, he would've failed (on all accounts) everyone he left behind.
it's dark but it somehow it doesn't hit too hard. cool art though.

...it's starting to get old how now it's THIS GUY who changed Mikey and thus the whole future in a way that even more people die. Somehow those reveals are not interesting to me. It's the same dynamic with a different character every time. I've been so hooked and invested and now I'll have to make myself continue until I get to the latest chapters. It's just become annoying at this point but I like the story so I wanna find out how it ends.

The characters grew on me and the story is sweet. There are some very relatable issues that had plausible resolutions.
There’s no denying the main couple are very compatible.

However, I don’t understand Kousuke at all. How does a sane man in his twenties fall for a middle school boy? Not even, because they met before Settie started middle school with Ken... so, a 12 year old boy out of elementary. Let that sink in.
In that flashback he has of when they first met, he recalls that look in Settie’s eyes and thinks he’d never be able to tell him about that. No kidding: shit’s fucking criminal.
I just cannot understand how he fell in love with a KID. Sure it wasn’t that clear at the beginning but after 3 years of knowing him he’s apparently sure of his feelings: so all this time he’s been lusting after a literal child.
When he finally addresses it he doesn’t talk about feelings but about how Settie looks at him ‘like he wants to get fucked’. Ok, they’re both men and it’s way different between men, but throwing that on a virgin kid is scary.
Kousuke has all the leverage from the start since Settie is a love-starved kid who admires him a lot. And it’s really just not okay at all how he makes it seem like it’s only Settie who is having these lustful thoughts and he’s ‘being the adult’ by saying he can’t return his feelings (but fucking is alright yo wtf). Then he kisses Settie and walks away, basically leaving the ‘decision’ up to him. So fucking manipulative and cowardly.
Oh, and once they start their risky dating, he keeps saying he’s taken precautions but gives no fucks about Settie and Ken’s friend watching them kiss at.fucking.school. What the fuck my guy?

Kousuke may not be a bad guy, but he’s a terrible adult. He’s irresponsible af and though he seems very sincere in his affections, to me he’s still a bizarre character who in the end is only taking what he wants through some heavy grooming and manipulation. He completely disregards how his actions affect those around him (most of whom happen to be teenagers) or how they could potentially affect them. All he cares about is getting his way. And that’s not bad at all if not for the fact that what he wants is A CHILD.

I can’t imagine knowing this guy irl and being able to accept him.
Why just why did he feel that kind of attraction towards a kid? It makes no sense to me at all. What’s wrong with him that he cannot be in a relationship with an adult? The only times he’s voluntarily interacting with people his own age he’s drinking, and he only keeps contact with people from his HS days. There must be a reason for that.
It’s a good story, but Kousuke makes me so uncomfortable I had to go on record, dammit.

It's so like them. Cute af.
And Ken smiling :')

For me it was never about a “love triangle”, but about character and human relationships.
I like characters that make me feel conflicted and question my values. So I can enjoy Jihyun’s personality, and hate what he did to Chiwoo.
I can love their chemistry, and acknowledge the fact that chemistry (and even love) isn’t enough to keep a relationship going.
I can feel in my bones where J’s coming from, and still empathize deeply with C’s pain.

And it’s not all about the MC‘s, but also about how their respective relationships with others shape their character and behavior. The most obvious example is, sure, J’s relationship with his father, but there’s also C’s relationship with his mother.
I kept asking myself why C would say “Me too” back to J, but ignore the meaning of those words, and I think it had to do with the fact that he’s an only son in a single parent household. He tries hard to keep things hidden from his mom; to not burden her… announcing he’s in a homosexual relationship might’ve proved a disappointment to her, in his mind. It wasn’t until he lost so much, and got a lot of support, that he was able to make a choice for himself.
And it wasn’t only J forcing his feelings on C. It was also C letting his fears get in the way of his relationship with J. He wouldn’t take another step because he didn’t want to lose what they had, but he was ignoring the fact that things had already changed the moment he became aware of J’s feelings.

I’ve gone over this story now several times and each time I notice something else. It’s a great read that deserves more looking into. To walk away from it only with a simple “team Kyijun” or “rape is rape” mindset is such a waste, imo.

Love JihyunxChiwoo's chemistry.

He looked so hurt that he was used. He was about to cry. That kiss... Ugh… my beautiful, fucked up boy.

He tries really hard not to snap at Chiwoo. Even though he’s so selfish, he still does his best at respecting Chiwoo’s wishes.

Jihyun is working on recovering his relationship with Chiwoo, even though Chiwoo has rejected him consistently, because he treasures and misses their closeness. Even though he’s still in love with Chiwoo he tries to put those feelings aside for the moment and prioritizes closing the gap between them after everything that’s happened.

He’s even willing to start back at being only friends when he’s already confessed his feelings (that Chiwoo ignored and then tried to deny and wave off as “confusion” on Jihyun’s part) and gotten rejected, and this is devastating for him.
Jihyun’s trying to get closer by giving Chiwoo space and letting him come to him, and this is incredibly hard for him to do, especially now that another guy interested in Chiwoo has appeared and is visibly getting closer to Chiwoo.

Jihyun is anxious about Kyujin’s presence. Hurt that Chiwoo has rejected him yet again. Hurt that Chiwoo never contacted him when he was wrongly accused of murder. Hurt that Chiwoo acts like the incredibly close relationship they had before meant nothing. Hurt that Chiwoo is using him and worried that Chiwoo is willing to hurt his feelings for the sake of some other guy. He doesn’t believe that Kyujin is not special to Chiwoo in some way and this torments him. He’s jealous, he’s anxious, but overall, he’s HURT.
He’s been hurt by and aching for Chiwoo for years before they reunite in Kyujin’s school.

He’s in love but he never understood, and still doesn’t understand, how to go about changing his relationship with Chiwoo from friends to lovers. His goal is the same as Kyujin’s: to make Chiwoo his. And because he’s not only a teenager but also emotionally stunted he constantly lashes out whenever he feels his relationship with Chiwoo is being jeopardized, setting off alarms in Chiwoo’s head and making the distance between them even greater.
It’s painful to watch him hurt the one he loves over and over because of his insecure attachment.

It wasn’t only Jihyun’s fault what happened when Chiwoo got that scar on his back and even Chiwoo acknowledges this. “Would things have been different?” he wonders, had he not pretended not to know how Jihyun felt.
But they’re kids, and they were scared and didn’t know how to deal with their feelings.
People are flawed: they hurt those they love. They fuck up. They are selfish and jealous and greedy.
Expecting an abused child to develop into a wholesome, emotionally intelligent teenager is unrealistic and far-fetched. People are not perfect.
Jihyun was drunk and still had enough self-awareness to stop himself from “doing something he might regret” because he loves Chiwoo. He’s not that far gone yet that he would rape the guy he loves just to satisfy his own desire. “Never.” He said. And he meant it. He also stopped himself at Chiwoo’s house because he doesn’t want to do anything to Chiwoo that Chiwoo doesn’t want.

I entertained for a moment that Jihyun’s older brother was right and he was just “obsessed” and actually had no real love for Chiwoo, but now I believe he does. He just doesn’t know how to love Chiwoo without “needing” Chiwoo to love him back.
He needs to mean the same to him because Chiwoo is the only person in the world that makes Jihyun feel good about himself. “I’m all he has, too...” He told his brother, because he projects his own feelings onto Chiwoo. What he really means is that Chiwoo is all he has. That he cannot go or be anywhere else but wherever Chiwoo is.
It’s very sad.

And Chiwoo! Poor boy is torn about Jihyun. He cares about him, but he also hates him. He misses him, but he cannot forgive him. Everything Kyujin does to get closer to him reminds Chiwoo of Jihyun: sharing an umbrella, hugging, talking about feelings, kissing…
Kyujin reminds Chiwoo of Jihyun for various reasons; one of them is that Kyujin also ignores whatever Chiwoo says. He might not be violent, he might not lash out, but he’s also manipulative, insistent, and won’t take “No” for an answer. He even tells Chiwoo: “…you always give in eventually...”.

This author does an amazing job of telling this story using every trick in the book: pace, facial expressions, tension, narrative… every character is layered and complex in their own emotions as well as in relation to each other.

However this story goes, I wish happiness for all its characters.