Tereza42's Topics (369)

I think like 15

I get what you're saying, but it's not as if that makes it okay. Refusing someone's no is wrong.

I think that there is difference between "try harder" no and "No!" no... i can see a lot of rape and abuse in yaoi, but this is not it in my opinion.

Ah, didn't mean to say that in terms of consent. What I meant was that once you have a reply to your confession, it's not your right to push them on it. I do understand why Lihuan pushed him on it, but I think in real life, that would be considered really disrespectful of Yuyang and his personal autonomy. But since they're friends, I think it should be fine, if it were a stranger, then that would definitely be bad. The only problem is that he's refused Yuyang's no at least twice.

I can see where your coming from, but yuyang has been string him along from the first confession. If you know someone likes you romantically but still call them late at night, go on dinner dates, and hang out frequently you are giving them hope.

also since he never really said anything along the lines of... No, I don’t like you or I don’t see you in that way. Yuyang was only saying, your don’t really like me it’s just a phase or you like women and will get over me. He never really rejected him, until this chapter.

For the first paragraph, Yuyang wasn't feeling the anxiety he's feeling now, and he totally seemed more willing to get closer to Lihuan after the confession. So I wouldn't call it stringing Lihuan along, I think Yuyang was being genuine in considering Lihuan's feelings, and they get along well together, dating or not. But the taking away hope thing does suck, but I can't say that it's wrong either. And for the 2nd paragraph, I considered those a rejection of sorts - anything that doesn't accept the confession is a rejection for me. That's why I classified it a rejection. But I can see how it's not considered a rejection. Anyway, I think even if Yuyang did string along Lihuan, which I don't think he did, he has a right to reject Lihuan, even if he does actually like him back. It's just like how marriages end even when there's love in the relationship - most times, love just isn't enough. Just because Yuyang does actually like Lihuan back doesn't mean he has to act on those feelings, though I think it's unfortunate but also understandable.

Who the fuck said this six foot tall teddy bear is being PUSHY? HAVE THEY NOT READ ANY OTHER SINGLE YAOI MANGA AT ALL???? ARE THEY STUPID ????? LIHUAN IS LITERALLY THE MOST CONSIDERATE AND SOFT SEME THERE IS LMAOOOO ????

I agree that he's super considerate and soft, but I think the issue is that Lihuan kind of refuses any rejection that Yuyang gives. I don't think this is an issue that will translate to other areas in their relationship, like consent, it's just this one area that is kind of needed to start a relationship, so I get his desperation to not accept Yuyang's answer, especially considering how well they were getting along.

I’m almost certain it won’t be a problem. Why? Because it can’t. This is a shounen ai, it will not demonstrate the same values and stereotypes as other yaoi like dubious consent. Not to mention this isn’t reality. I think some people forget that this is fictional lmaooo were not analyzing the characters from a psychological standpoint. They are CHARACTERS. That means they posess a fixed destiny. The fact how Lihuan is so obstinate is the only thing that’s going to help them progress.

Like remember that guy that kept over analyzing how the characters seemingly got away with most financial repurcussions like paying rent and such despite not having jobs? Ill admit it is something to think about, for 2 seconds, then you realize how actually irrelevant that is. Lihuan isn’t showing any signs of aggression and telling from their future, Yuyang is more the one to wear the pants in the relationship since he’s more forward and controlling than Lihuan. So overall, your concern is irrelevant.

Just because it's fictional doesn't mean the psychology of characters is irrelevant, it's relevant to their journey to that fixed destiny. Also, even though this is shounen ai, the author has already posted many almost yaoi shots of them having sex in the extras, but that's not really relevant to my point. I only included that point about consent to say that I was not talking about sexual consent, I was talking about respecting boundaries.

I don't remember that guy, but I don't see how talking about financial repercussions compare to talking about a character flaw in a main character. He is overall stubborn, I wouldn't call it aggressive. I don't really get why you're so upset over this sort of comment towards Lihuan? Even if it isn't relevant to the story, it's relevant enough to his character that it was pointed out and some found it disturbing, including me. I found it especially disturbing seeing all the comments so elated to see that Lihuan wouldn't take Yuyang's no for an answer, since in real life, that's considered majorly disrespectful and harrassment - Lihuan obviously isn't harrassing Yuyang, I'm just saying that people seem to want Lihuan to harrass Yuyang until he says yes. So, I would say that my concern IS relevant. If you want to debate this, rather than dismissing the claim overall on the grounds that it doesn't matter to the story, why not say something about why this sort of behavior is actually okay?

Let’s look at what has happened in the story.
Lithuan confesses his feelings, and yuyang dismisses them (which was wrong to do, who is he to tell someone How they feel...based mainly on them both being guys and his insecurities)



Lithuan then decides to PROVE that his feelings are real. This is what you are considering to be forcing his feelings or ignoring the rejection. He does this by spending time with yuyang, huying him flowers and simple gestures. He does not force himself or his feelings on Yuyang.

He is showing yuyang I do love you, why don’t you believe me.

You said what gives Lithuan the right to do this. Well what gave yuyang the right to dismiss someone’s genuine feelings as a moment of confusion.

Also in real life, personally if I knew someone and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them and they told me I don’t really love them, I wouldn’t go oh well I tried so I’m going to move on and let you live your life

(I accidentally pressed post)

If I did give up easily it would just prove the other person right. I didn’t love them enough to try to make the relationship work. And in this case if lithuan did give up, yuyangs insecurities would only worsen. Because that would mean lithuan was taking yuyangs feelings struggles lightly

Nah. You’re just spinning it way out of porportion. The reason you’re getting so much hate is because it is already evident to the viewer about how Yuyang feels. He likes Lihuan back, but he’s scared. Not scared of him but scared FOR him, worried, apprehensive, self conscious etc. etc. It’s not wrong for Lihuan to wring him out for an answer if its so plain obvious Yuyang is lying. And he’s not harassing Yuyang lmaoo ??? what the fuck? You seem like the type of person to call assault and rape when a man pats a woman on the shoulder.

Trust me I would be the first to point out the normalization and romanticizing of overly posessive “semes” and whatnot, cause that shit ain’t cute. But we have only seen positive outcome out of this obstinate kind of behavior, progress in their relationship, the reveal of Lihuan’s true feelings and a a little bit of Yuyang’s reassurement— even if it is as little amount as Djun would allow it, they have only come this far because of Lihuan. The only aspect I’d point out to be wrong and toxic would be overamticizing every gesture, since this was basically taught from the manhwa the female character gave him. But everything Lihuan has done up to this point was 100% considerate and for Yuyang and mind, and Lihuan is what is going to get them to the finish line. Not Yuyang shying away.

Hey! I just wanted to say that I feel like I am totally mis-remembering the story and the events, so I'm going to go back and read those parts that you mentioned once I'm done with finals, and then get back to you. I do want to clarify that I don't think Lihuan is pushy or aggressive or a creep (btw the OP is not talking about me, there was another post by an anon that I agreed with), I would say he is stubborn (which is not a bad thing). I was just commenting on his refusal of Yuyang's no as disrespectful to Yuyang. As for what gives Yuyang the right question Lihuan, it's not that I think he has a right to question Lihuan's feelings (but, he's going to do it anyway, cause of his anxiety, just like how Lihuan is going to question Yuyang's no, cause of his stubbornness), it's more that I think that Yuyang doesn't have to say yes to Lihuan even if he does like Lihuan (which he does). And for your last paragraph and 2nd comment, I really think that's just a difference in philosophy in how we would approach relationships. If someone rejected me, I would do exactly what you said in your last line because I don't think another person's feelings towards me are up to me, and I would never want to push someone on it simply because, for me, I am not owed any sort of answer, explanation, etc. in the first place. But your last paragraph is also a bit off because my post is regarding Yuyang's no, which he does by saying he doesn't like Lihuan, not by saying that Lihuan doesn't actually like Yuyang. So Lihuan wouldn't know that Yuyang is questioning Lihuan's feelings in the first place (which is why everyone is so frustrated, since Yuyang won't say his fears, but this guy's communication skills have been shitty from the beginning). So Lihuan isn't questioning Yuyang's questions regarding Lihuan's feelings, Lihuan is questioning Yuyang saying that he doesn't him after all. Okay, that hurt to write, so I'm sorry that that last line was super grammatically fucked up, I just finished a 13 page paper, and I'm struggling to write a proper sentence. Anyway, that's my issue with Lihuan, though it's not really an issue for me since I think Lihuan is just being stubborn and rightfully confused. My concern lies mostly with all the comments encouraging Lihuan to refuse to accept Yuyang's answer, since that sort of behavior is wrong and actually frightening in real life (not having your answer accepted can turn bad real quick). But, I will read those parts you mentioned and get back to you!

Yikes. You took it too far with that last line, there are some things that shouldn't be said. You say that I'm spinning it way out of proportion, what about you? I'm making comments about a character who said no to someone's no, and I even explicitly said that it's NOT harassment in this case, and then you accuse me of crying rape towards real men in real life... T_T And when was I getting hate? I don't consider any of the comments here, aside from what you just said about me, hate, unless you consider disagreement hate, in which case, you've been reading me wrong. I don't hate you for your opinion, though it's clear you hate me for mine... You're seeing past what I'm saying, it doesn't matter how Yuyang actually feels, it doesn't matter what the actual feelings are, cause Lihuan can't actually know what Yuyang is feeling (since Yuyang is refusing to communicate). Lihuan can guess, but he can't actually fully know. Yuyang is in the wrong for questioning Lihuan's feelings, but he can say no even if he does like Lihuan - that's his prerogative. If a person says no, that really should be it, the other person doesn't have the right to keep asking and pestering them for their "real" answer (which Lihuan ISN'T doing; please note the "isn't," since you seem to enjoy misreading what I write), that no is the real answer no matter what the actual feelings are. I don't know why you deliberately ignored that part of my comment that says that Lihuan obviously isn't harassing Yuyang... And also, this line that you wrote, "It’s not wrong for Lihuan to wring him out for an answer if its so plain obvious Yuyang is lying" bothers me - this IS wrong. It's forceful and actually is harassment if a person repeatedly refuses to accept someone's answer and insists that they're being lied to. How can they actually know? Thankfully, Lihuan isn't "wringing" an answer out of Yuyang. He's rightfully confused, so he's going to ask, not force, Yuyang to tell him the truth. Anyway, you shouldn't joke about crying rape, because first, it minimizes rape, and second, it's really not funny to land a boy or a man in prison for something he didn't do, that minimizes the absolute horrors those innocent people had to go through. Their lives are taken away from them, and they have no choice or power in the matter, that's the same as rape for me - I will never see that as funny, and it concerns me that you do. That's one of the biggest fears I have for my little brother, so please, don't say that again. To anyone. It's not funny.

I don't consider Lihuan possessive, I consider him stubborn, obstinate. And they should have only come this far thanks to Lihuan, Lihuan liked Yuyang first. Yuyang was still in the middle of getting over his last crush when Lihuan started liking Yuyang. I've already said that Lihuan is considerate and sweet. But Yuyang still has every right to say no, even if he does like Lihuan. If anything, it'd be toxic for Yuyang to jump into a relationship with Lihuan while he's still reeling from the shame he feels for being gay after all of his experiences with his family and exes (that's why he's so afraid for Lihuan and afraid that Lihuan really will decide he likes girls). If he did agree to date Lihuan, he'd be doubting Lihuan at every step, and it'd be Lihuan's responsibility to calm him down and reassure him, and that's a shit ton of burden for one person to carry. That's a codependent relationship. Yuyang needs to first learn to deal with his anxieties himself, to properly deal with the issues in his life, rather than avoid them at every turn: avoiding his parents until he bursts, ghosting Lihuan after the pool incident rather than talking to him, avoiding Lihuan after realizing he could still go back to girls, etc. This going back and forth isn't the author creating unnecessary drama, it's the author establishing a pattern for one of their characters - it's how a real person acts when they've been given the same shitty cards Yuyang's got (this also includes fear of and lack of communication). Lihuan should not have to carry or drag Yuyang over the finish line, they should be going over it together, standing on their own feet.

If the current Yuyang did say yes to Lihuan, they'd be broken up by Sunday.

I honestly don't see what the problem is if we agree on essentially everything that I have argued. It goes without saying that Yuyang and Lihuan deserve the right to say no. Honestly, this whole thing is giving me a head ache and to be frank, you're being a little melodramatic. I couldn't read your entire responses without my body convulsing entirely out of cringe. I genuinely wish you the best because to get this emotional about characters is a big yikes :///

... Damn, do you know how to live in your own head. Nice talk.

Ugly sangwoo

idk either but when i first read this i gave it 3 stars, now it's a 5

That icon...you're very cultured I see lol

haha yep

yes ... the emotion are one a** of a thing