I just checked on Ebay. Seems like the only titles available are Vol1, 2, and 3. That is all.
[SPOILERS] & My honest thoughts.
I have to write this out.
It's 3AM and my heart is pumping wildly and my emotions are a mess. I'm so conflicted. I feel nauseous. My hands and arms are trembling, as they were when I read through the manga.
This is amazing work by the mangaka for something so psychologically twisted. It's way up my alley. The torture (physical, mental); the lust portrayed, character's background that offer insight into their psyche is incredible. It's extremely messed up, every direction, every sense of the phrase.
The author's portrayal of fight between Shintani's lust and his rationality is masterful. When we get introduced to Shintani, he seems like the perfect average joe. He rejects the bribe of money. The reader gets a hint of his personality. Righetous, probably? However, his depravity is peeled back, layer by layer.
In the beginning he picks up Kikuchi to keep an eye on him, have some measure of control - or so he says. Sudou correctly guesses (or maybe he recognises the twistedness in Shintani that Sudou too himself has) that Shintani has ulterior motives. Did he initially? We will never know. The reader is presented a question. Shintani feels sympathy, at least. Yet his eyes when meeting Kikuchi while investigating how he plans to pay the debt - are calculating, and betrays him.
Kikuchi's backstory is introduced early, and it is clear the author wants us to feel pity. Kikuchi is the underdog, the victim, starved of affection - and just like a stray dog which the author regularly draws a parallel too. He has a (skewed) moral compass, as shown in the first or second chapter where he defends Shintani against accusations of theft.
Kikuchi longs for acceptance. He falls for the slightest bit of kindness the colleague who he just had sex with against his will. It is rape, blatantly so. Yet the circumstances of his lifestyle forces him to ignore the non-consent, and press on with the main problem at hand. A rape that is already over is a smaller matter as compared to an insurmountable debt (that may result in more torture). Moreover Shintani was drugged, and had been dragged in against his will it is clear Kikuchi does not consider him an accomplice.
Over the course of Vol.1 Sudou develops an interest in this slightly meddlesome Shintani. He recognises that they might be cut from the same cloth, and creates opportunities for him to trigger and nurture that side of him. Sudou knows exactly what buttons to push, and how to flip the switch. Shintani's lust consumes him, and he knows naught of immoral as he literally uses Sudou as fap material. It is clear towards the end that Shintani's rational side does not love Sudou. Shintani rejects Sudou when sober. Yet it seems as though Shintani feels no remorse for his lust-drunkeness towards Sudou, nor regret, as time again and again they find themselves in the same situations. And if this manga had no Kikuchi in it maybe Sudou and Shintani would have gotten a lusty (happy) ending.
Although I say that Shintani does not love Sudou I too question the authenticity of his love for Kikuchi. It is apparent that Shintani treats Kikuchi tenderly, incorporating him into part of the family. In Vol2/3 Shintani learns Kikuchi's first name, and they make love. But each time Kikuchi is vulnerable, and that is precisely what Shintani is attracted to about him.
Sudou has not had a happy life. It has moulded him into a crude shape, and even though he goulds Shintani into sex with him, to him sex is a form of affection and release - not to mention how gently Shintani treats him as compared to how his Yakuza master does. It is clear Sudou gets a kick out of flipping Shintani's switch. He is battling his self hatred, and yet he yearns for love - just like Kikuchi, he is a stray looking for absolution. Sudou uses Shintani to make himself feel better. And when Shintani rejects him, he self-destructs, however this time he wants to make the two others feel his pain. If he can't have happiness, why should they?
Vol3 ends in a threesome (in the loosest sense of the word) - it is a battle, truly, between Shintani's lust and logic. Unfortunately Sudou has won that battle, and Shintani must deal with the consequences.
I feel pity for all 3 characters. My own personal preference wants me to root for only one one pair, one couple to love. I disapprove of Sudou's actions, although I can sympathise. Shintani is only a man, but his inclinations may be, do not take away the betrayal of his actions. It's just tragic that his inclinations swing that way.
I feel better after writing all this out. If anyone has made it through the vomit of my words, thank you for reading. Please link Vol4 so I can erase this feelings of guilt, and anxiety for these 3 characters. I only wish them well. （/TДT)/
I would only like to stress more the fact that every time Shintani has sex with Sudou, it's because the latter drugged him. He surely feels lust, but it's mainly because of the drugs. Even during the 'threesome', he is struggling because he is worried about his lil sis.
Unfortunately, no vol. 4 yet. Just the first chapter of said volume is out :(
Exactly!!! The whole shitty situation is just... I cant even find an escape route for them so my heart just aches terribly. I've never felt so helpless :(
The first chapter is out?! I wanna read but like... don't think my heart can handle it until the entire volume is done (╯°Д °)╯╧╧
It's not that intense of a chapter. Sudou leaves them in that room to go and kill his yakuza brother. Shintani and Kikuchi have a conversation, and then Kikuchi stays safe at home and Shintani goes after Sudou, possibly because he still doesn't know wth is going on with his sister, and because he is a bit worried for Sudou. He probably doesn't want him to fall further. The chapter ends with Sudou pointing a gun at his brother, the latter pretty chill about it, like accepting that fate, and Shintani sees the whole thing and tries to stop Sudou. I posted the link a few comments down, but now it's dead. I'll see if I find it again.
https://www.nicoobook.com/p/雜誌onblue-vol-32/1425090 there you go. You have to scroll down quite a bit though, since it's the magazine vol with lots of other manga. If you can figure out what they talk about in more detail, please comment it here♡
omg omg oMG?! Thank you so much i was unprepared!!! Yes kIKUCHI STAY OUTTA HARM'S WAY PLEASE ~ jesus idk how Shintani can look Kikuchi in the eye after this and just proceed on with their lives it's so nervewrecking
Why? I mean, it's all fucked up, but Shintani didn't want any of that to happen at the end of vol. 3. He was drugged outta his mind and under threat because Sudou has his sister. He means no harm to Kikuchi and even apologizes right there when he gain a bit of conscience. Kikuchi also says he doesn't care and understands. Shintani is just afraid of that violent side been revealed to Kikuchi, but his roughness during sex is fine lol it only gets out of hand when Sudou drugs him.
Yeah, it's because it's so fucked up, and they couldn't do anything about it. It's probably mostly me empathising alot with the characters (and projecting how i would react onto the characters), i think my soul would shrivel at the very instant - i kinda imagine Kikuchi shattering inside - i mean, sometimes sorry doesn't really cover it, yknow?
Rough sex is fine~ just the way poor Kikuchi had to find out... :(
Yeah. At least the very first reason why Shintani exposed himself to that was to help Kikuchi pay and make sure he wasn't gonna be in further danger, though ofc he couldn't stop him from prostitution.
I understand how you feel because when I first read this, I had a hard time understanding the characters and their decisions. After a couple of days, I came to terms with Shintani because he was always forced and is as trapped as Kikuchi is. Sudou is the only character I don't really care for. I hate him for making them go through all this.
Yeah I agree, Shintani never wanted any of this to happen in the first place. That's probably one of the sliver linings of this manga.
There's a special place in hell for people like Sudou. People that break others just because they're hurting are the lowest scum on earth. (╬￣皿￣)凸
I'm glad i managed to find someone i can really discuss this manga with! You're really nice to talk to ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
Hahaha thank you! so are you :) I'm glad I could help you get it all out. I needed someone to have this conversation with when I first read it and there was nobody, so it was hard to let it go lol especially since it's still ongoing ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ
Yes omg, my new manga buddy! Let's meet again when the fourth volume's out!!!
(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Do you know if the 4th volume was released?
i have not checked so i do not know, sorry :(
Yes. It's out there already to purchase at amazon and so on. I haven't yet cause is still ongoing （￣へ￣）
i still cant fathom the amount of angst this has, i've read this back then and found myself coming back tho i i decided not to read from top since i remembered how heart breaking this was, but the only thing i was really confused and i really wanted to know if that did shintani cheated with sodou in the beginning on his own accord or was he left with no choice, prolly cause of the debt n stuff cause it will definitely break my heart even more if shintani did cheat only because he succumbed to his lust :((
RIGHT.... i'm too scared to read the newest volume because this is exactly what i don't want to know!!!
thank you!
Me after reading the author's note:
Murderer... mommy issues... mother's clothes...
This suddenly feels so Norman Bates (╯°Д °)╯╧╧
PS: If anyone has the link for the physical copy of the comic please comment down below! Would really like to purchase a copy for collectable (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
You can get it on amazon I think
Thanks for the info! Time to do some searching ~
I just did a brief search and the only listed choices are in Italian / German, even then they're out of print（/TДT)/
I have been searching for Bbong's other works for soooooo long!!! Big thanks to whoever uploaded this my heart iS READY ヾ(☆▽☆)
I've read my fair share of psychological manga, from the popular ones like Harada and Killing Stalking, etc... to incest family pets (that i've forgotten the name)... but somehow this takes the cake. I love the dark and crazy mangas but this... on his grave? That's a no from me.
Still gonna read it though, love how extreme it is, just doesn't sit well with me on my conscience. (╯°Д °)╯╧╧
the jackass is gonna get fuckin cursed lmao
also I'm pretty sure the incest family pet one you mentioned is from the same author. the one w the twins
I have scars from another manga so I can't really enjoy this story fully. That being said i love Ane-san to the core. She carries this story like a champ. She cuts right through the bullshit and sees through it all. Amazing.
If any kind soul who has read to the end able to spoil me on what Rogi did to make Akitora abandon him, and also on how the story concludes I would be eternally grateful!(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
I don't think I can handle anymore of Rogi-san's antics. It's like he never once developed this concept of right and wrong, and it annoys me on a personal level. Plus, the last few chapters where he acts like a spoilt lover wanting to be pampered by Akitora makes me feel bad for Ane-san, and just turns me off because I love Ane-san so much.
this is still ongoing so there are no answers yet unfortunately
Noooooo ┗( T﹏T )┛
Ane-san is a BL manga character who I wanted to protect so much with my whole life. From the moment she was introduced to the story, I can already feel her love for Akitora. She might not be obviously possessive but you understand that caring and being thoughtful about him shows her feelings. This is the only BL manga that I wished the seme wouldn't end up with the uke. Since from the beginning, I never approved of Rogi as a character. I disliked him in Yondaime and now I hate him. I'm sorry Beriko. This is one story of yours I'm not overly fond of.
Yes! She's like the best decision Akitora has ever made. Like damn he has some fine taste when he proposed to her. Then Rogi comes along and... ┑(￣Д ￣)┍
I removed this story from my to-buy list. Rogi is just... I literally can't find any redeeming qualities.