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I checked the comments before reading the rest so I was hopeful(tho the slutshaming part is fucking weird) but I really can’t deal with pushy MLs, they’re way better than rapists and abusers by a mile for sure but it makes the reading experience irritating since it’s just them going against what the MC says, pushing their boundaries, ignoring their wishes and often overpowering them physically. It’s not even once in a while but just a daily thing and as a reader I get this weird suffocating feeling lol like give it a rest. I keep wanting the MCs to find a way to just vanish so that the MLs will be left looking for them while they go on with their lives peacefully. Those MLs are so focused on their obsession (the MCs). All that matters is their own feelings and they can’t stop to care about what the MC wants, they’re aware of the MCs’ reluctance but they just dgaf. I guess it can be seen as romantic to some, but it’s just feels overbearing and entitled to me.

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I don’t know what Jihwan is. Like psychopath, sociopath or a highly intelligent/precocious kid who grew up under neglect and abuse in an unhealthy household that’s not well adjusted with anger issues. I don’t think he lacks empathy or emotion but his idea of right and wrong seemed skewed at first. As someone who reread this many times, I think people are forgetting or missing out on a lot of interesting moments of Jihwan’s character and getting stuck on the more intense scenes.

After having seen the kid version of Jihwan now I can’t help but match that kid self to his current self. His expressions or lack of, his demeanor, it’s all very similar. It doesn’t make him look childish but I dunno a bit less suave and put together. It feels like he didn’t really change past learning how to deal with others in social settings, with Classmates, teachers, others’ parents (his encounter with Sooyoung’s mom) but he’s still stuck between just wanting things (like his mom’s affection/ SooYoung’s attention), observing and analyzing people (the other kids and their parents/his classmates like Sooyoung and Gyujin) and avoiding annoyances. He also can’t stop plotting because he’s just smarter than everyone around him and also because he was never taught otherwise in terms of getting what he wants.

There’s a scene after he got beat up by Gyujin where he just hugs SooYoung saying it hurts. It could be him just distracting SooYoung but then I remembered how since his mom died, he probably didn’t have anyone else to simply hug him like that since it’s clear his dad became full time deadbeat dad from that point on. He’s definitely not ‘sweet’ but from the things he was longing for in childhood til now, it doesn’t seem that he found a way to get them at all. Until Sooyoung who seems to be what he really wants and think he needs right now. He doesn’t seem to care about power, status and etc, it seems like just tools to get what he really want. A special person? A special relationship? I mean he’s also definitely a horny teenager. In many ways, he seems more like a bold, eager teenager than a big evil mastermind, in his interactions with Sooyoung. It’s like he saw the dude one day and hit puberty.

But yeah, his reaction when Sooyooung got assaulted by Gyujin, the desperate way he rushed there, the way he was flustered trying to call Sooyoung’s family and how he did his best to reassure him afterwards didn’t feel very psychopath like to me.

I think the author did a great job with Jihwan’s character and he’s not as straight forward as a rich toxic/rapey ML that’s also a psycho.
The worst he’s done to Sooyoung while angry is just act cold and sulk or glare. And as soon as he’s placated he lets go. He got Gyujin expelled for attempting to rape Sooyoung and when he saw him still freaking hovering around to get at Sooyoung again, he unleashed his previously held back anger. I dare say he also wanted to effectively put a stop to Gyujin’s attempts and not just vent his anger. It’s also interesting to see his reaction to being called a psycho. How self-conscious does he feel about being different and to what degree is he aware of it. I mean usually the psychos just laugh it off and claim it proudly. Jihwan seems different.

Even his interest in SooYoung is different than the typical BL psychos. He tried to approach Sooyoung, 2 years before the current timeline but SooYoung didn’t get it, and completely misunderstood him because Jihwan was too clumsy(the whole you’re so short thing lmao)the fact that he was just excited trying to get close to Sooyoung and unable to just plot properly is funny. He was too excited. For the other 2 years, he just let it be until he had the opportunity to try again. He didn’t jump in to separate Gyujin and Sooyoung and assert his claim even as he observed them. And oh, when he started his second approach, he gathered a lot of information and he checked Sooyoung’s relationship with Gyujin and tested Sooyoung’s responsiveness toward himself before making a move. He’s obsessed and cunning but not forceful and he’s rather patient.

Gyujin is obsessed, violent, entitled, an abuser and a gaslighter. He has those crazy moments too like when he beat up Jihwan. He has issues to say the least and feels like he owns Sooyoung. Compared to that Jihwan is clearly trying to make SooYoung his by his own will. I think it’s possible that he learned from his parents that it’s better if the other party is willing.

The next chapters will tell us how much of a psycho Jihwan really is, Taehee is not like Gyujin, mind you Jihwan gave him multiple warnings and didn’t even seem like he was going to do anything about the forced oral sex situation. He finally acted when Gyujin tried to rape Sooyoung. So now I’m curious what the author will make Taehee do, hopefully not a Gyujin 2.0 , we should get to see how Jihwan handle someone who hasn’t hurt Sooyoung, basically someone that just annoys him and triggers his territorial side.

All these pseudo-incest stories all have this suffocating vibe. The way they can’t escape from their new sibling and the harassment, can’t let their parents know, have to keep faking it at home, can’t even consider home a safe place. Plus the shame and the guilt, the fear and anxiety etc. Yikes. Only stories I thought were well done are ‘Love or Hate’ and ‘Blue,Black,Sky’. It probably helps that’s the parents didn’t stay together. The angst is there but it doesn’t feel suffocating.

After strangling him???

Happy sigh.The reason I gave this a chance unlike a story like mmm let’s say Jinx, is because I can tolerate toxic behavior from non-human characters (or psychopaths like in the beast must die). Like I can accept that those characters operate under a completely different set of morals and values and not just because they’re a hot a rich dude with some sad sob story.

Like Jaeshin as ghost literally feeds when having sex with the crown prince, he can detects something unnoticeable to humans, the yin energy, and focuses to judge what the prince wants that rather than what the prince say, or when he explains that ghosts see everything cockeyed at the beginning and feel the urge to mess things up. On top of that he’s quite bad, even for a ghost. lol.

Anyway, yeah so rather than watching some guy act like human trash and then barely repent or something and end up with his victim, I rather watch a supernatural being learning about humanity. This chapter was so interesting. Jaeshin is truly conflicted, wrestling unknown feelings, yearning, fear, frustration, worry, and of course love. He doesn’t know what he wants and it’s somewhat endearing. Even his lack of empathy for the prince grieving is really well put together. He expresses his point of view as ghost and what they think of death. He doesn’t understand why the prince is sad, but he gets upset because he also doesn’t understand why he, himself feels upset at the thought of the prince dying because it defies his own logic. Meanwhile the prince is shocked by his lack humanity, highlighting the difference between the two. Love it!!!

Sigh….

But this feels like a much improved and polished version of “Even if You Don’t Love Me”. The similarities were obvious from the start and it had me slightly worried but it’s been so damn good so far. The slow burn is piping hot and I really like both the MC and the ML. LikeI love this one so much and hope it won’t become a sh*tshow at some pointt.

Looking at some comments it feels like we’re not reading the same story or some really young readers are just unable to understand what’s going on lol. “Shitty?” “Nothing likeable about him?” “He can suffer?” Yikes some people really need to be spoonfed stories since they can’t read between the lines and understand subtle writing and characterization. I suddenly understand why so many bad stories are popular. Somehow too many readers are quick to hate on ukes for the slightest thing meanwhile the semes can hit, harass, abuse, rape, kill and etc and still get “he’s a red flag but I’m colorblind”comments. Meanwhile the uke can’t even be a little aloof without being called insufferable.

I love the way this story truly fits its title. I can’t get enough of the little gestures, the little looks. I also love the pace and it’s the one BLI’m looking forward to the most lately.

Some people really don’t care for penetrative sex and some truly hate it. What’s a bit puzzling here is for Hyeonwoo to suddenly be into it , I mean I guess people can change their mind and it seems it’s part of his wish to spice up their relationship but their conversation around it seems to suggest they didn’t necessarily talk about not liking it or not wanting to do it before. Did it just never come up or am I missing something, was Hyeonwoo bottoming previously?. Either way it is not that rare for couples to not engage in penetrative sex.

Wholesome yet insightful and realistic with some humor and light angst? Let’s goooo!

Now that was hot.

Messing with wrong guy’s car, following random strangers to unknown places (not once but twice), going exactly to the place multiple people warned him about, oh and that time he grabbed a gun and just raced all the way to save Gren or whatever, flirting with freaking Ross, going to meet him alone, I’m probably forgetting things but he’s written as someone guarded, always in his head thinking about being cautious and what he learned from his childhood, making assumptions, jumping to conclusions all on his own but when it comes down to actions he keeps getting himself into hot shit over and over precisely because he doesn’t think before acting. Such a himbo I love him.

Why so awkwardly drawn lol. Reminds me of ‘No Moral’. Just kissing with the tip of their mouths

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