sweety1997's Topics (862)

Also. How hasn't she gotten pregnant? I mean she was known for sleeping with everyone and anyone so how hasn't she gotten pregnant? I know there could be ways to prevent pregnancy but we haven't seen her drink or each anything that was said to prevent pregnancy and there are no condoms sooo

Exactly! You are right!

Ig they know how to pull out?

Yeah i never understood why manga and anime characters are so underdressed in wnter

as a minor I guess I don’t care as much lmao

U can filter out "school life" if you can't read stuff with minors. Not all of them will be filtered out obviously, but that should help ╮(￣▽￣)╭

Yes I am! I am doing thay now :) But some college and uni stories are also under “school life” whoch is why I usually just rely on guessing from the cover. And usually the tag is student x student. Which again also can mean adult students. I like uni stories. So yeah. Anyway I sometimes also assum its shounen ai and then like now get shocked. It’s a recent discovery of mine. I realised I feel disturbed to see anything like this with minors involved. 20 yo characters in these scenarios is like the minimum I can bear to just read. any lower than that I cannot so I just skip. This comment was to share my thoughts on this matter

ye I totally get what you mean. I started reading bl in my teens and now Im nearing my 30s and sometimes Im like uuuuh I feel weird about this Imma head out now O_O when I read smutty stuff with teens. I engage with a lot more distance I think than I used to or I think at least that the pornographic aspect isnt as important to me a lot of the time as much as the "coming of age" feeling part of the story. So I think if it's done well it gives you a "going back in time" feeling instead of a "leering at high schoolers" feeling (the types of stories where I feel uncomfortable). Like this was erotic but not in the second way more in the "I empathise with kids figuring out their sexuality and self" way of thinking and that connection is what stirs me up if that makes sense.

It's crazy though how we (well, I) used to read age gap stories between underage kids and ppl my current age and think they were cool under certain conditions and very romantic and now I read them and Im like WHY IS AN ADULT WRITING THIS WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
It's weird how your perspective changes with time, though I do think the stories being written today are definitely different from those 15 years ago in those regards because the authors and audience also reflect on their work with time. Like, we have more smutty or explicit stuff being written these days, but also a bigger understanding of consent, more understanding of queer relationship and being lgbtq, and a bigger variety in ages and lifestyles. There's also a ton of stuff that is a lot more escapist or all the way unrealistic or rapey (like isekai, omegaverse, guideverse, stories about pop idol lives etc) but that's I think what is interesting about our subculture, it's all about how desire works in the mind, which is such a complex thing.

I started reading yaoi since I was teen and I passed that 30yo mark for quite a while already, I have to admit that I don’t feel any guilt at all

What you expose your brain to, is what you become. Doesn't necessarily mean you become a criminal from playing games where you murder or something. But it does influence YOU. So YOU became someone that is desensitised to this kind of stuff. So you do not FEEL or THINK deeply and become CONSCIOUS, when you are exposed to something like explicit sex scenes between characters that are still minors or in general very much not at your level of maturity (physical; frontal lobe still develops in your 20s). This is not a diss or judgment. It's facts. I just rewrote what you said about yourself in a different way. You are not the only one. Most human beings are desensitised to things. We see the negative consequences of this on the daily. Though it is not very much broadcasted by the media, because it is within the parameters of governments that are in an alliance and have a mutual agenda where this is very much part of.

Basically your internal moral system and critical thinking ability and ability to feel have been fucked with. They are not to the full capacity of what they should be for someone your age. If you get brain scans done, it might even show changes in your brain. Not just explicit filmed porn changes and damages your brain. Anything does. Anything that has an affect on your brain, influences your brain and can change your brain. For the better or worse...though I am sure you don't care. As people rarely do. (Due to being desensitised and also unable to let go of long standing habits that became part of ones comfort zone. )

Bruh I think ure blowing this out of proportion. There's plenty of people that fantasize about shit they'd never do irl. Hell, irl I'm a complete lesbo with 0 attraction to men yet something about 2d fairy tale men still gets to me. Kink is literally also a thing that exists, people getting off on receiving pain or giving pain, being humiliated or humiliate others just to name some of the mild stuff. Doesnt mean in their daily lives they get off on it (which is a weird misconception many vanilla ppl have).
Honestly I'm only saying this for your sake. Holding onto such a mightier than thou *your brain is wrong if you dont feel the things I feel and I need to shame you for it* way of seeing the world is only gonna hurt you. I get where ure coming from forreal because I do partially agree but this behavior isnt helping you or randos you're writing walltext to on forums about.

Get.. therapy..? Maybe?

Haha actually my reply to sweety1997 is longer but it was cut off somehow. Basically I also said though I don’t feel any guilt toward these 2D minors’sex scenes, it’s not like I am ignorant to the same things in real life. I am still fully capable of getting angry/sad over immoral acts I read on the news or heard from others, to be fair, most people around me think that I’m quite an emotional person I have to say, or at least that’s what they told me
So my point is it’s okay if he/she fuilt guilty toward this all they want, it’s okay it might not have been made for them, but you shouldn’t be too serious about judging a person over here just based on what they read as entertainment, it does not tell what kind of person they’re in real life

indeed!!

I also started reading bl during my teens... Haven't crossed the 30 mark... Still in my 20s... Will be for a while

But that age gap between 2 characters has always been an ick for me... And by the passing of time and the older I get the more mind boggling it gets for me.
I could never digest age gap partners

Exactly. I experienced the same. The older I get, the more disgusting it is to me. I guess, because I understand more? I am not sure what it is. Like my dorm-neighbour is 19 and her boyfriend who basically lives here for free is 24. A few years ago I may have been a bit intimidated by hearing she has such an older boyfriend. But now I am disgusted. He is a disgusting fuck. And they have been together for almost a year. So it tells you he got to her when she was barely 18 years old. A 23 year old man, who went to uni and after 2 years dropped out giving a whole nonsense story as to why, then giving a whole another wanna be emotional story (like these trash ml who want redeem themselves by giving some emotional sob story) about how his family is so like the way it is (not knowing he talking to someone who went through shit herself, but it's showing it, cause is nobodies business and not an excuse to do shit like he is doing) and is now working as some call centre agent and then went to get a lil teenager to be with him. The way he treats her and how he calls her "my girl" when she isn;t around. I dunno how to explain, but it's nauseating. What a loser. You can tell he is just an immature fucker who would never be able to land a woman his age, cause they are to old to not see what a loser he is, so he went to an inexperienced 18 year old who wants to pretend she is oh so mature....omgggg

Yeah I think when I was in my teens I still was under the impression that age gaps are romantic because the culture around me also saw it as romantic (I remember being 17 in high school and feeling like my classmate who had a bf in his 20s was cool... yikes!)

At this age with age gaps I feel weirded out by student-teacher relationships in BL the most (why are those still a thing honestly??), (sometimes also boss and employee relationships also!!! Because oh lord are those usually a whole can of worms of problematic). But I mean many people explore their desires in fiction because there you can do the fantasizing without the problematic shit of.. well, reality. I just think it's normal that the older you get or depending on the culture you're from that you change your opinions or have a more gutteral distaste to certain stuff, but I don't find it healthy to obsess over what others find hot in their own brains.

Many ppl are into power imbalances in fiction (damn just look at all the most popular k-webtoons! O__O), and I guess sometimes I get the appeal if it's done well.

I like to think of erotic fiction such as BL as like let's say roleplay with one layer removed. Like when you wanna act out a kinky scene with a partner, you normally discuss before doing it how it's gonna play out and what is ok and what isn't. But when you're making fictional characters do these things, the pre-scene stuff, where you discuss what's ok and what's not etc, isn't there. It's all the fantasy parts, it's all the acting out. So there's not really a point in policing that imo, though I personally believe there's PLENTY of space to be critical. That's how genres evolve after all (and yaoi has evolved immensely since it started as a genre). I'm a huge complainer myself, people dunk on me here for shitting on manga all the time lol. But just saying "IRL THIS WOULD BE DISGUSTING" is not really useful as criticism of erotic fiction though. That's just someone letting their emotions talk and forcing them onto others.

I get you! I do! The reason where I draw the line is, when people bring the shit from fantasy into reality. That is why I find it disgusting. I dunno how to explain. Maybe just read under some of those stories alone. Living things out in the privacy of your own mind is something every human has a right to do. Thoughts are not reality, until you make them reality. They are just thoughts. My issue is when people cross that line and bring it into reality. We are sadly not evolved enough as a people to be able to just keep things in the imaginary world and never bring it over and let it influence our collective reality. You see it. Men who read these fantasy plots and then go stalk real high school girls. Women who go have relationships with minor men. Girls who read this stuff and feel reassured in their relationship to an adult man. It exists in reality. Many of these stories actually exist in reality. Sometimes not as romantic as the author of such tropes is writing it. The reason I cannot enjoy it too much is because I know real stories. When I was a kid and used to watch TV, there was a reality TV show in Germany, where all these types of stories were shared by real humans who experienced it and we saw the aftermath. A 16 year old, pregnant with the child of her English Teacher. A young teenage boy who was groomed by an older woman. Two children who had sex and got teenage parents (why? cause they learn it from movies and stuff). 17 year old who is being stalked by some adult otaku. Is all real. It's not fiction. Then people come and make fictive stories where it suddenly is portrayed as romantic. Like even the BL where the dude is a bit toxic to his uke and they both are I dunno mafia or what. In reality, this happens. There are real men who are being raped by their superiors and are in a strange power relationship to them. There are men who look very feminine and delicate and "straight men" traumatised these boys so much, they grew into desensitised sex addicts. Real boys who were raped by another man and then became hyper sexual adults. These stories they write have all happened similarly in reality. And that is why I cannot just enjoy them. I insert all the real tea into it while I do. I know why such a relationship would happen. I cannot NOT analyse them. And NOT overlap it with reality...I dunno if this makes sense or not...

no it does make sense. I hope I do not sound patronizing (I probably will a bit, I am sorry in advance) but the fact that these situations have happened and do happen, while they have some correlation with reality, are not synonymous to it. Fiction is not dangerous.

Culturally speaking, we have always had the tendency to name women's fiction as something dangerous or morally gone astray. The phenomenon of touting moral panics to what women read is basically part of the genre from its very conception (it's got a very interesting history, if youd like to look it up!). While BL is not strictly women's fiction (especially nowadays, which is imo amazing!) it does stem from that tradition, and because of that it carries with it that type of baggage. Just like how people don't get violent because of video games, same is true for people who read these types of stories.

From what you wrote earlier you seem to still be very young. What you will find as you grow older, is that unfortunately in order to live, we end up experiencing pain. We cannot possibly grow into adulthood unscathed without any menace around us, because such evil is part of human nature. We are impulsive creatures with contradictory desires and drives and traumas and insecurities, that usually make emotional sense before carrying any emotional cohesion. The rest is storytelling.

Since you shared a lot of personal stuff, let me shortly explain something through a personal story. I have a CNC kink (amongst others), which stands for consensual non consent - essentially rape roleplay though not exactly as brutal as that sounds tbh. I am also into S&M, and a little bit of D&S as well. I have explored these kinks sometimes in a very beautiful, fun, and safe way, and sometimes in a very risky and regretful way. These types of exlorations opened my eyes a lot as a woman who had been taught that my desire was defined by my desirability, and the way men's desired worked. Being active in your quest for desire is a wonderful thing, that despite the fact that now Im pretty much 100% gay I am grateful I met men in my life that taught me this as well. In my early 20s I got sexually assaulted. It broke my desire in two. Suddenly it all felt like violence (and sexual desire is related to violence, however it of course is not completely defined by it). I saw everyone and either a victim or perpetrator. I'd freeze up and cry, I'd be disgusted with myself and the things I used to do. They were all tainted, they were too raw, too real for me.

But did the things that turned me on change? I mean... a bit, but not that much. I am still entranced by situations that outside my bedroom would be terribly problematic. I had to learn to balance the reality of my trauma with the reality of what turned me on. And sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. And I mean that's a great encapsulation of the human brain I think. Most things don't make sense. This is just my opinion, but it all comes down to learning to live with those contradictions. Sometimes rapey BL (which... there's plenty of....) turns me on. Sometimes it triggers me horribly. Sometimes I just find it underwhelming or plain offensive. But all of these experiences are my own emotional realities. I cannot force them onto others because the way I see the world is uniquely my own. Emotional reality bridges into actual reality when it comes to how it legitimately affects you. Right after I was assaulted, I wished all men who checked me out on the street would instantly die. I didnt want to feel their gaze, I was disgusted, it made me nauseous. However that doesnt mean that they should just not go out into the street or go kill themselves. And honestly Im not so sure it means they shouldnt check me out either. Imo it means that men should learn not to force such desires on women. That if I do not reciprocate that gaze they should accept that rejection and move on. And I on my own part, had to very painfully learn to walk through the streets again without lashing out about my anger and trauma at anyone who reminded me of it. It was rough but Im mostly there now.

Idk if I made clear what Im getting at either. Maybe that I believe being in community with each other and having an understanding of each person's personal freedom is important? To me it sounds like you are an intelligent person who is thinking deeply about these issues and is troubled by a lot of the terrible things that dont make sense in our world. I get that, and honestly, that's great, keep on being troubled by them! The worst is when we decide that it's not worth debating on these things. You seem very earnest!